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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30022362">What The Heart Wants</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel2912/pseuds/Angel2912'>Angel2912</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rytchan/pseuds/Rytchan'>Rytchan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Elite (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Big Gay Love Story, Breaking Up &amp; Making Up, Drama &amp; Romance, Elite Season 4, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Endgame, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Heartbreak, Jealousy, M/M, Omander - Freeform, Post-Canon, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:22:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>52,764</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30022362</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel2912/pseuds/Angel2912, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rytchan/pseuds/Rytchan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>***</p><p>This story picks up from the moment where season 3 left us. </p><p>Omar and Ander get back together. They both struggle with the aftermath of Ander's chemo, among other things. There's only one thing that matters to them: the love they have for each other... But that doesn't mean things will be easy for them. </p><p>***</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ander Muñoz/Omar Shana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>161</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Élite ▶ Omar Shanaa / Ander Muñoz</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey, there!</p><p>We bundled our forces and have decided to co-write this story. We believe that some things in this story will happen in season 4 and others surely not, but we definitely had a lot of fun writing it. </p><p>We have decided to change the writing style a little bit, and this time the story will be narrated in the present tense and the first person, and it has the point of view of each character, indicated by (  ) at the beginning.</p><p>This story will be loaded with lots of fluffy moments, but it will also have some drama, angst, and for sure, a lot of smut.  Lol!</p><p>We'll be updating a chapter per week; </p><p>Thanks in advance for reading and commenting. It's always motivating to know that there's someone who is enjoying this fic.</p><p>So... having said that, enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <strong>Chapter 1. Prologue</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>(Azucena)</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Today was the decisive day, and I must say that I had never been so afraid in my entire life. I had never felt so scared and helpless. A paralyzing horror was running through my soul. I didn't even feel this way the morning that Ander had sat next to me and blurted out that he had been diagnosed with Leukemia.</p><p> </p><p>At that moment, I thought it would be the worst day of my life. But boy, how wrong I was about that. That day was just the beginning of a constant struggle not to break down in front of him. I had to get over it and pretend I was sure that everything would be fine. I had to draw a smile every time I faced him. Just remembering it brings back those moments of anguish and hopelessness.</p><p> </p><p>Throughout the months, I saw him struggle with the determination of a man desperately clinging to life. In the blink of an eye, the eighteen-year-old boy, who had barely begun to live, had ceased to exist. And during this process, it was not his father but Omar who was always standing by his side.</p><p> </p><p>Many months ago, that frightened-looking Muslim boy, who came to live in our house, had become someone very special to me. It was enough for me to see the devotion with which he looked at Ander and the way he had defended him against the harsh words my husband addressed to Ander on his birthday that made my heart melted for him. From that moment on, I considered him as a member of my family. </p><p> </p><p>Since I was aware of how important Omar was in his life, I decided that I would support them no matter what. I must admit that that was the final nail on the coffin for my fragile marriage to fall apart.  And while that was happening, seeing the love between Omar and my son grow day by day was what got me through those gray days.</p><p> </p><p>But sometime during the last month, something happened between them. From one day onto the next, Omar left home, and at the same time, Ander had stopped fighting. I knew it from the moment he told me that he wouldn't waste the last days of his life studying. That he wanted to spend time by himself to start preparing himself for what was about to come because he had no hope left. He was convinced he was going to die.</p><p> </p><p>When that happened, I felt as if a part of me had died at that instant moment. I remember freaking out, and I didn't know what to do. I knew something serious had happened between Omar and him, but I didn't want to ask.  Instead, I called Guzman.  But not even my son's best friend could diminish the deep sadness that Omar's absence had caused him. Ander just gave up on everything he cared about. His family, his friends, and even on life itself.</p><p> </p><p>Sitting on one of the hospital benches, I thought that this might be the day I would hear that my son had been right all along. That this could be the day, I would hear my son was actually dying. That, somewhere in the near future, I would say my final goodbye to my son, my only son, whom I love more than life itself. But, luckily, that didn't happen.</p><p> </p><p>I clearly remember the doctor's smile when he informed us that there was no trace of the disease that had undermined Ander's body for so many months.  I hugged him so tightly that for a moment, I was afraid I had hurt him. His once athletic body felt so fragile in my arms today... like a latent reminder of the harsh test, he had overcome.</p><p> </p><p>Ander was in remission, the best outcome I could wish for. He should have been relieved, but he was only able to draw a faint smile that didn’t even reach his eyes. My son still looked like he was defeated. I couldn't bear to see the sadness in his eyes. He was physically by my side, but his mind was miles away.</p><p> </p><p>An hour later, as we waited for the final paperwork, Ander was sitting next to me in stony silence. His forehead was slightly furrowed, and his eyes were lost. His elbows rested on his knees, and both hands were folded together, resting his chin on them. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he wasn't aware of anything around him.</p><p> </p><p>And that was when I saw him approach us. The only person that could get through to my son. The only person who could make him smile again. Omar. I'm so glad he is here. I truly hope they can work things out, even if it was going to be a long and challenging road that lied ahead of them. The one thing that is clear to me is that I will support them in every way I possibly can.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>(Guzmán)</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>I am standing in the hallway of the hospital. I accompanied Ander and Azucena because today we would receive Ander's latest test results.</p><p> </p><p>For months I have been afraid that my best friend was dying. From the moment I learned he had cancer, I have wanted to support him. At first, I found it very difficult, knowing that he had kept the truth about Marina's murder to himself for so long.</p><p> </p><p>After I found out what he had done, I had really hated him. At some point, I had even told him that if he got his head smashed again, I wouldn't care less if he died. Not realizing how close I hit home with that comment. At that moment, I didn't know he had cancer.</p><p> </p><p>I still remember when Omar told me about the secret he was keeping from me. When I confronted him about his illness, Ander told me that he thought he deserved it. That the secret he had kept about Polo was eating him alive. Hearing Ander talking like that, my heart broke, and I decided I wanted to forgive him.</p><p> </p><p>Omar's words asking Ander if that was the reason not to continue his chemo made me angry at him all over again. He would continue his treatment if he wanted it or not; I would make sure that he would. He owed it to me.</p><p> </p><p>Over time I noticed how he was treating Omar. Ander pushed him away, not wanting Omar to waste his time on him any longer. Finally, he managed to push Omar away completely. But although it was exactly what Ander wanted, he was devastated that Omar was gone.</p><p> </p><p>He gave up on life completely, shutting everybody out. It was heartbreaking to see my best friend like that. I have never felt so helpless in my life. No matter how hard I tried to get through to him, he was just too stubborn to listen.</p><p> </p><p>When I finally convinced him to let Omar back in, it was too late; Omar was leaving for New York. I could see the despair in Ander's eyes. The emptiness in his eyes, knowing that the person he needed the most in his life, was leaving.</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, I had hoped they would find their way back to each other. I witnessed their closeness after Polo's tragic accident. I could still see the love they had for one and another. I hoped the situation would bring them back together again, but somehow it hadn't happened. It left Ander devastated.</p><p> </p><p>We have just received the best news we could get. Ander should have been so relieved, but I could see that he wasn't. I instantly knew why. He is missing Omar terribly. He has heard he is going to live, but he knows he will have to live without Omar. That realization has hit him hard. I have this terrible feeling that he had preferred to die.</p><p> </p><p>When I finish my message for Nadia and walk back towards the waiting room, something catches my eye. A smile appears on my face as I see them. Omar is here, and he and Ander are kissing. I can see a smile written all over Ander's face. For the first time in months, I believe he is going to be okay. My best friend will be all right.</p><p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://imgbb.com/">  </a>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Not everything is perfect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>We have just received the best news we could get. Ander should have been so relieved, but I could see that he wasn't. I instantly knew why. He is missing Omar terribly. He has heard he is going to live, but he knows he will have to live without Omar. That realization has hit him hard. I have this terrible feeling that he had preferred to die.</p><p> </p><p>When I finish my message for Nadia and walk back towards the waiting room, something catches my eye. A smile appears on my face as I see them. Omar is here, and he and Ander are kissing. I can see a smile written all over Ander's face. For the first time in months, I believe he is going to be okay. My best friend will be all right.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Chapter 2. Not everything is perfect</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>(Omar)</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>I feel nerves running through my entire body when I see him sitting next to his mother in the waiting room. For a moment, I do nothing but admire him. He is sitting on a bench, his elbows resting on his knees. His hands are folded together, and he rests his chin on it. Ander looks so vulnerable, so fragile.</p><p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://imgbb.com/">  </a>
</p><p> </p><p>I can see that he has lost some more weight since the last time I saw him. It shocks me as I once again realize that this fucking disease is destroying the man I love. But I have made up my mind; I want to be with him no matter what the future brings. I have no choice because my love for him is too strong. I have tried to ignore my feelings over the last few weeks, but I can’t ignore them any longer.</p><p> </p><p>I was at the airport an hour ago, and I was about to leave Madrid for good when Baba told me he was sorry. Confused I had asked what he was sorry for and he said he was sorry for my friend... my boyfriend. It was the moment that changed everything. My father finally accepts me the way I am, or at least he is beginning to.  And he had referred to Ander as my boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>It made me so happy that I had hugged him. For the first time in years, I had hugged my father. The very next moment, Lu had told us that Guzman wasn’t coming because he was with Ander in the hospital to get his test results. Instantly I knew I was making a huge mistake.  Who had I been trying to fool? No matter where I would go or with who I would be, my heart would always be with Ander. Always. I wanted to be with Ander.</p><p> </p><p>As fast as I could, I got to the hospital, and here I am, looking at the man I love more than anything in the world. He hasn’t noticed me yet; he seems too lost in his thoughts. I know that he is afraid of what he is going to hear from the doctors, but no matter what the outcome is going to be, I will stick by his side. I am never going to leave him again, no matter how hard he pushes me away.</p><p> </p><p>I can feel my heartbeat in my throat. My hands are sweaty as I walk towards him. Azucena is the one who notices me first. She smiles at me, and I can read her lips as she says, <em>"Hi Omar."</em> She gets up as makes a place for me to sit.</p><p> </p><p>Ander looks up at me as I sit down next to him. He clearly didn’t expect me. I place my grey jacket beside me; nervously, I run my hands over the fabric of my jeans. I want to break the ice, so I say the first thing that pops up in my head.</p><p> </p><p><em>-You look familiar... Andrés, right?</em> - I hope he still wants to be with me, and then he says the words I want to hear. Words that means so much to both of us.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Román...</em> -He curves his lips into a genuine smile.</p><p> </p><p>I smile as I hear those words, and I see how he smiles at me. I take a deep breath as I turn towards him, pulling my leg up the bench. I need to make it very clear to him that I'm not going anywhere.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I don't care how much you push me away. I am a fucking boomerang. And whatever the diagnosis is, I will be by your side, you hear?</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Omar...</em>  -He interrupts me, but I won't let him speak. He needs to hear what I have to say.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Even if this fucking chemo takes 100 years, I'll be at your side in this hospital for those 100 years... repeating the same grade.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Listen...</em> -Ander tries to interrupt me again, but I don't listen to him. I continue to say what is on my mind.</p><p> </p><p><em>-If I graduate when the rest of the people retire... I don't give a shit... But I won't leave you because I love you, gilipollas. I haven't stopped loving you even for one day.</em> -I grab him by his neck in an attempt to strengthen my words.</p><p> </p><p>He stares at me, and then he says the words that shock me.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-You won't have to. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The first thought that came to my mind was the chemo didn't work, and there's no more hope.  But then, I analyze Ander's face, and I think he doesn't want me anymore. That he doesn't want me by his side... it feels like a punch to my stomach. I let go of his neck, feeling empty, but then he mumbles:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-They just told me that I am in remission.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ander is in remission... he already has the results. For a moment, he scared the shit out of me. Making me think he didn't want me by his side; instead of that, it isn't necessary because he doesn't have to do chemos any longer. I sigh out of relief.</p><p> </p><p><em>-But that was a beautiful speech... I mean it.</em> -Ander looks at me, his gaze is bright, and I can't help but feel grateful.</p><p> </p><p>We both smile, and the feeling I get from being with him is indescribable. This time, I grab Ander's neck with both hands as I kiss him. I can feel how he places a hand in my neck and kisses me back with the same intensity.</p><p> </p><p>I can feel that my heart starts to race. I feel so happy and relieved, not only because Ander is in remission but also because we are kissing like we used to. Ander still wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him.</p><p> </p><p>We are still kissing when we hear a loud <em>“ahum”</em> next to us. With some reluctance, we break the kiss as we both look up and see Guzmán standing next to us, a goofy smile written on his face.</p><p> </p><p>I get up and hug him. I can tell he is happy to see me. I can feel how a hand grabs mine. I look beside me, and I see Ander smiling at me. I quickly interlace our fingers together. Then Azucena joins us, and the four of us talk about the good news Ander has received.  After a few minutes, I can see tiredness across Ander's face. Everything has taken its toll on him. Azucena notices as well, and smiling, she whispers:</p><p> </p><p><em>-Let's get you </em> <em>home, honey.</em></p><p> </p><p>Ander looks at me questionably; his hand squeezes mine. I know what he wants; he wants me to go home with him. I squeeze back, and I nod. There isn't any other place I want to go than to go home with him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>(Ander)</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>The house is completely silent. The only sounds I hear are the chirping of some crickets coming from outside and the ticking of the clock hanging against my wall. I close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath, trying not to think. Of course, I don't succeed, not even for thirty seconds. I shake my head in an attempt to get rid of the annoying voice that torments me and wipe away a tear with the back of my hand as I glance sideways at the man sleeping peacefully beside me.</p><p> </p><p>It's been more than seven hours since we left the hospital, and I still can't believe Omar is here. A part of me is still afraid that at any moment, I will wake up from this dream to find myself in a totally different reality. Maybe that's why I refuse to fall asleep; that in a blink of an eye, Omar would vanish again.</p><p> </p><p>Today has been a day that I will remember for the rest of my life, and to be honest, I must admit that it transcended my wildest dreams. I still can't decide which of the surprises I received today shocked me the most.  Whether it was the knowledge that I've been able to beat fucking cancer or that Omar decided not to move to New York, that he preferred to stay with me instead. I am sure that my life will never be the same again, not after today.</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, when I saw him taking place next to me, I thought I was dreaming; that even though it was me who had pushed him away from my life, he was back again. I thought that my need to feel him close was so intense that my mind was playing a trick on me. I looked into his eyes avidly, wondering if he was real or that it was all in my imagination. But the moment I felt the heat radiating from his body and heard his deep voice calling me Andrés, it all made sense.</p><p> </p><p>Omar assured me that he wouldn't leave me because he loves me, that all this time, he hasn't stopped loving me, not even for a single day. Even without knowing that I was in remission, he told me that he would be by my side, no matter how long my recovery would take. And hearing the vehemence with which he said it made me want to believe him. I need to believe him. I need to hold on to that, today more than ever, so I can be able to forget everything else.</p><p> </p><p>The first thing we did once we got home was moving my bed back to the attic because I no longer need to sleep downstairs. There's no need for somebody to take care of me anymore. While Omar and I, well more Omar than me, finished reorganizing my room, my mother cooked dinner. An hour later, the three of us sat down at the table as we had done so many times before. My mom couldn’t hide her happiness, and as I watched her, I wondered how much it has to do with the fact that Omar is back with us again.</p><p> </p><p>The after-dinner chat went on much longer than I would have liked. For what seemed like an eternity, my mother and Omar chatted animatedly, catching up while I just listened and nodded from time to time, wishing the time would go faster so I could be alone with him. When he was distracted talking to her, I watched him closely. I let my eyes wander over his perfectly shaped body, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he still wanted me. Finally, my mom decided she had had enough and said goodnight, but not before kissing me on the temple, mumbling once again how happy she was that I was going to be fine again.</p><p> </p><p>I was starting to feel exhausted, everything started to take its toll on me, but my desire to make love with Omar was stronger. I felt strong enough to have sex again. In fact, now that I look back on it, it had been one of the first signs that I was starting to recover.  A week ago, I had woken up completely hard. Because of the chemo, I hadn’t had a boner in a long time, and that morning in the solitude of my room, I jerked off until I cum hard while fantasizing about having sex with Omar.</p><p> </p><p>Once we were alone, Omar gave me an affectionate look, and with that smile I know so well, he held out his hand to drag me to my room. As I carefully climbed one step after another, I tried to control my heart that had begun to race at the prospect of being intimate with Omar again. I was nervous because it would be the first time in a long time that we would fuck again. It would be the first time in a long time that he would see me naked again, which scared me a little. I felt ashamed of my body, which was not even a shadow of what it once used to be. Suddenly, without meaning to, I compared it to Malick’s athletic body.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as we entered the room, Omar closed the door and started to kiss me.  He devoured my mouth, making me feel desired, and I kissed him back with the same intensity, deeply and passionately. I had my hands on his waist while he caressed my face with his hands, and as he kissed me, he whispered how much he had missed me. I wanted to melt into his body, to let him feel how much his closeness made me feel.</p><p> </p><p>Omar's hands ran down the back of my neck and then down my shoulders until they clung to my ass. With trembling hands, I pulled off his shirt and unbuttoned his jeans so I could slide my hand inside his boxers. As I felt how aroused he was, a moan escaped my mouth without me being able to contain myself. Omar mimicked my movements, and, with deft hands, he began to fiddle with the elastic of my pants and pulled it down in one movement. When he wanted to take off my t-shirt, I pulled back, breaking the contact.</p><p> </p><p><em>“Can you leave my shirt on... Please? I'm just... I'm cold.”  </em>-I had begged him, looking away. Feeling ashamed of my own body.</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>“Have you become shy now?” -</em>He teased. But the look in his eyes told me that I hadn't been able to fool him. Omar knew perfectly well what I was thinking, and he was trying to downplay the matter. I silently thanked him for it.</p><p> </p><p>Not contradicting me, he pressed his mouth to mine again, to continue the kiss we had started minutes ago. He used his tongue to deepen the kiss, stumbling, he led me towards the bed. I tried to focus on what we were doing, but my mind betrayed me, making me suddenly feel insecure. And in less than two seconds, the hard-on I had experienced before disappeared as if by magic. When Omar noticed, he sat down on the mattress, and l saw concern written all over his face.</p><p> </p><p><em>“What's wrong, Ander?” </em>-He brushed his lips with mine in a tender kiss.</p><p>
  
</p><p>I couldn't answer him.<em> How could I tell him what was happening to me? That I had lost my hardness because I was insecure about my body and that I was comparing myself to Malik? </em>Omar is not even aware that I know all about him.</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>“I can't do this... I'm sorry.”  </em>-I wasn’t able to look him in the eyes because I was afraid to read the disappointment in his gaze. So, I turned my back towards him, bringing both hands to my face.</p><p> </p><p>I remember how he positioned himself behind me and hugged me, tracing my neck with his warm lips as he whispered that it didn't matter, that I shouldn't worry, that it was normal after the emotional roller coaster I had been through that day. He suggested that we should get some sleep. Tomorrow would be a new day.</p><p> </p><p>As I listened to him, I could only nod, but deep down, I felt miserable. Even though cancer is gone, my body still suffers from its aftermath, and not being able to make love to Omar devastated me; it left me speechless.</p><p> </p><p>It was an undeniable reality, latent between the two of us.  It was something I could not, nor did I want to ignore.  For that reason, I wanted to try again. I asked him to be the one to fuck me because I desperately needed him. I wanted him to know that what I wanted most at that moment was to make love with him, not sleeping.  After so many months of abstinence, I wanted to feel him again, but Omar looked at me with a condescending smile and shook his head.</p><p> </p><p><em>“There's no need to force things, Ander. We have all the time in the world. It is going to be okay; it is okay. I just want to hold you. That is enough for me now”</em> -He pulled my torso against his and hugged me tightly.</p><p> </p><p>I don't know how long we stayed like that, in silence, in each other's arms, until finally, Omar fell asleep.</p><p> </p><p>I have lost track of time; maybe an hour has passed, maybe even more.  I feel the pressure of his arm on my stomach change slightly, and slowly, I turn my head towards him. I can't help myself, as I feel how a smile appears on my face as Omar tightens his grip around me as if he doesn't want to let me go. Careful not to wake him, I turn on my side to face him. I don't need to see him, to know what he looks like when he sleeps because I know every single one of his features by heart, but still, I lose myself in him. I inhale his cologne, the one I know is his favorite, and sigh. Instantly I am aware that the familiar scent that I missed so much always made me feel safe, but above that, it has always given me peacefulness.</p><p> </p><p>Out of nowhere, the irrational fear lodged inside me begins to disappear as it turns into a warm sensation. Maybe Omar is right when he says that we have all the time in the world. Hoping that maybe tomorrow, my mind won't betray me like it had tonight. Maybe tomorrow I won't feel so insecure about my body. With that thought in my head, I close my eyes and try to lose myself in the security that Omar's arms provide me. Only then I can feel myself drifting off into a deep sleep while enjoying the warmth of Omar’s body against mine.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Dark Cloud</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi!</p><p>Here's chapter 3.  We hope you enjoy it!</p><p>xoxo 💙🖤</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>I have lost track of time; maybe an hour has passed, maybe even more.  I feel the pressure of his arm on my stomach change slightly, and slowly, I turn my head towards him. I can't help myself, as I feel how a smile appears on my face as Omar tightens his grip around me as if he doesn't want to let me go. Careful not to wake him, I turn on my side to face him. I don't need to see him, to know what he looks like when he sleeps because I know every single one of his features by heart, but still, I lose myself in him. I inhale his cologne, the one I know is his favorite, and sigh. Instantly I am aware that the familiar scent that I missed so much always made me feel safe, but above that, it has always given me peacefulness.</p><p> </p><p>Out of nowhere, the irrational fear lodged inside me begins to disappear, as it turns into a warm sensation. Maybe Omar is right when he says that we have all the time in the world. Hoping that maybe tomorrow, my mind won't betray me like it had tonight. Maybe tomorrow I won't feel so insecure about my body. With that thought in my head, I close my eyes and try to lose myself in the security that Omar's arms provide me. Only then, I can feel myself drifting off into a deep sleep while enjoying the warmth of Omar’s body against mine.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Chapter 3. Dark cloud</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>(Omar)</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>I wake up feeling a warm sensation running through my entire body. Still drowsy of sleep, I move my pelvis, looking for more friction, and let out a slight moan as I feel my arousal grow.  I blink a couple of times, trying to focus my gaze as I see Ander lying next to me, with his back turned towards me. I can't help but smile at the thought of us being together again, but a few seconds later, that same smile dies as I realize something is wrong.  As I softly press myself against his ass, Ander remains motionless. From the rhythm of his breathing, I know he's not asleep, yet he pretends to be.</p><p> </p><p>I take the opportunity to analyze him a little bit more. Somewhere during the night, he must have changed his clothes, as he is now wearing a long-sleeved T-shirt and pajama pants. It only confirms my suspicions. Ander hates to sleep dressed, especially in summer when the heat is almost unbearable. I know him so well that I know how affected he is that his body has changed due to cancer. And I also know how stubborn he can be about opening up to me and telling me what's going on with him.  Last night was proof of that, when he refused to let me take his shirt off and what happened next.</p><p> </p><p>I don't want to force him into talking to me. I want him to come to me whenever he is ready to talk about it.  All I can do is let him know that I am here for him if he needs me. And make it clear to him that even though his body may have changed, it doesn't diminish the love and desire I feel for him.</p><p> </p><p>Although if I am honest, I must admit that it scares me to see how that fucking disease has taken its toll on him, not only physically but also how it is having serious havoc on his self-assurance. And even though I know that he will completely recover in a few months, I still feel deep anguish when I think about what would have happened if the chemo had not worked.  Just thinking about the possibility of losing him drives me crazy.</p><p> </p><p>I close my eyes as I think back to one of the firsts memories I have of him. Posing as someone else on Grindr, he met me in that wine cellar, using the nickname <em>"discreet19".</em> I almost laughed when he told me that 19 didn’t stand for his age. That was typical Ander. Always a self-confident guy, sometimes even arrogant because he knew he was handsome. That feature of his personality was one of the things that really turned me on from the first moment I laid eyes on him, the confidence he aired wherever he went.</p><p> </p><p>Last night when we kissed, I could feel the internal battle Ander was fighting, and I tried to let him know in every possible way that having sex is the least important thing to me right now, not only because I want him to feel comfortable when we do it. The truth is that I am holding back myself as well because I feel guilty for cheating on him with Malick.</p><p> </p><p>I keep telling myself over and over again that it doesn’t matter, that Malick never meant anything to me because it had been only sex for me. And the only reason I did it because Ander kept pushing me away over and over again. Things weren’t great between us at that time. But who am I trying to fool? Deep down, I know I failed him, and I can't shake that guilt. I know I need to talk to him and confess the truth to him. But the thought that he will break up with me once he knows the truth terrifies me.</p><p> </p><p>I shake my head to push those thoughts away and instead slide my arm around his slender waist to pull him close against my body.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Hey, good morning, sleepyhead.</em> -I whisper against his ear before I press my lips softly against the skin of his neck.</p><p> </p><p>In a matter of seconds, I can feel Ander's reaction to my kisses. I can see how he gets goosebumps in that sensitive spot and how he turns around in my arms to face me.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Hey...</em> -He mumbles hoarsely, and although he smiles, it doesn't reach his eyes. On the contrary, I see a hint of uncertainty in his beautiful eyes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Did you sleep alright?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ander shrugs his shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-You've been talking in your sleep all night.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>As soon as I hear him, my heart stops for a second, and my stomach turns. Have I said something compromising? I try to read his face, looking for signs that I've screwed up, but I can't find anything. A few seconds later, he smiles at me and kisses me on the corner of my mouth.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-But it doesn't matter, I'd rather be awake caused by you talking in your sleep every night than that I have to sleep alone.  Besides that, I can’t hug you if you aren’t here. I know we haven’t discussed it yet, but you are going to stay over at my house, aren’t you?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>My heart beats a mile a minute at the fact that Ander wants me around all the time.  Quickly I pull myself together and smile back at him. I definitely need to find the right time to talk to him because I don’t feel good about the fact that I am hiding what I did to him. And as much as I want to be with him, I think we need to take things slow because I want things to work out between us this time. That’s why I have already decided that I continue to live with my parents. At least for a while. I just hope Ander will understand the choice I have made.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Nene, of course, I will stay with you for a few days. But when we broke up, I moved back in with my parents. And finally, things are going better, and my father even starts accepting me the way I am. For the first time, I have the feeling we are really bonding. And I would like that to continue. As much as I want to be with you, I want to stay with my parents. I think it will be better for us as well. I really want things to work out between us this time. So, let's not rush things.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Ander watches me for a moment without saying anything as if he is processing my words and deciding what position to take on the matter.  Finally, he nods.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Vale, Although I don't like it. I do understand it. Your father will let you spend some nights here, right? Or do we have to sneak around like before? Because that was kind of hot, isn't it?</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-You dickhead! I promise I will spend some nights here even if my father doesn't let me, but he will </em>-I whisper hoarsely and start kissing him.</p><p>
  
</p><p>When Ander deepens the kiss, I move to straddle him and slide my hands under his t-shirt to caress his torso.  Immediately, I feel him tense up, and I force myself to break the contact as I look into his eyes.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Do you want to talk about this? </em>-I ask softly, trying to instill confidence in him.</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>-Talk about what? -</em>He whispers, averting his gaze.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-Ander, I'm not oblivious.  I know what is going on with you, but I don't want to force you to talk about it if you don't want to.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I don't want to talk about it, Omar, not now; I just can't.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-Vale... But I want you to know I'm here for you whenever you need me</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Ander nods but doesn't say anything.  I give him a brief kiss on the temple before I remove myself from him and drop down next to him on the mattress.</p><p> </p><p><em>-What do you want to do today? We can do whatever you want. </em>-I change the subject to make the moment less important.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-We could go for a walk.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>-Vale... That sounds good. </em>-I answer without hiding my excitement.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>The rest of the day flowed almost like a dream.</p><p> </p><p>Although I would have loved to take a shower with Ander, I didn’t even get the opportunity to suggest it to him. When he got out of bed, he quickly disappeared into the bathroom, without saying a word, locking the door behind him immediately. Although I was slightly disappointed that he preferred to shower alone, my heart broke as I realized how disgusted he truly is with his body. For me, he is still the most handsome man in the world.</p><p> </p><p>Azucena was preparing breakfast when Ander and I came down half an hour later. She greeted us with a huge smile and the smell of freshly brewed coffee. I smiled as well without being able to avoid it.  I feel a special affection for her, and I'm almost sure she feels the same way about me. She couldn't hide her happiness, and in a matter of minutes, she infected us with her good mood, making us, as well Ander as me, temporarily forget all about the dark cloud that was hanging over our heads.</p><p> </p><p>Once we finished breakfast, I practically forced Ander to help us clear the table. As soon as I suggested it, he leaned back against the back of the chair grimacing, but when I approached him and whispered in his ear that I would make it up to him for the night, I saw him blush slightly, and immediately, he stood up smiling from ear to ear.</p><p> </p><p>Half an hour later, we left the house without a fixed direction; we just started chatting about everything that had happened in the last few weeks, and without realizing it, we arrived at Parque Del Retiro. It is a place that I love a lot, but I had never been there with Ander. </p><p> </p><p>I remembered the last time I was there, and I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as it was just when Baba kicked me out of the house, and at the same time, things with Ander were weird.  It took several months before I knew why; the weight of Polo's secret had wreaked havoc not only on Ander but also on our relationship.</p><p> </p><p>That was the last time I was in that park, thinking for hours about what I would do with my life, devastated to learn that I had lost my home and was about to lose Ander as well.</p><p> </p><p>I push those memories away and took Ander by the hand to drag him over to a large silver maple tree. We sat under its large foliage to admire the pond in front of us and sank into a comfortable silence. After several minutes, Ander lay down on the grass, resting his head on my lap, and began to tell me about Polo. </p><p> </p><p>He told me some anecdotes from when they were kids, and I just listened to him, smiling tenderly at the way his eyes sparkled when he told me about those memories. I knew it was Ander's way of dealing with his friend's loss, and I was so glad he opened up to me about that part of his life.  We talked for a long time, so long that I lost track of it. As for me, I told him what my father told me at the airport and how happy I was to hear him talk like that. </p><p> </p><p>When we left the park, we started walking along La Gran Vía, stopping from time to time to look at the shop windows or just to rest.  I didn't want Ander to exert himself more than necessary, and although he assured me on more than once that he was feeling fine, I was looking for any excuse to stop. At some point during our walk, we passed in front of the Lacoste store, and I noticed how his eyes sparkled when he saw a particular T-shirt on a mannequin in one of the shop windows.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Come on, try it on.</em> -I pushed him, dragging him practically into the store.</p><p> </p><p><em>-No, Omar. I already have too many clothes, and I don't need another one.</em> -He mumbled reluctantly.</p><p> </p><p>I ignored his comment and started rummaging through the racks until I found it myself.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Come on, do me a favor. I want to see how it looks on you</em>. -I pouted, knowing he couldn't refuse.</p><p> </p><p>I heard him let out a sort of grunt as he rolled his eyes, but eventually, he snatched the t-shirt from me and went into the dressing room.  I sat down on a nearby wooden bench and waited. Five minutes later, he opened the door with a grumpy gesture, and raising his hands, he complained:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Are you happy now? I look awful in it.  It doesn't suit me at all...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I looked at him for a moment, studying his image. Ander was right, but not because he looked awful, as he had said, but because it was too large for him.  So, without further ado, I got up and asked one of the salesclerks to provide me with a smaller size.  When I returned, Ander was coming out of the dressing room with the t-shirt in his hand. </p><p> </p><p><em>-Here, try this one on.</em> -I whined, giving him a wink.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Why are you so fucking stubborn? I told you I don't like it. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>I didn't answer him.  I just stretched out my arm, holding his gaze.  Ander looked at me as if he wanted to murder me, but when he saw that I wasn't going to give up, he rolled his eyes one more time and went back to the dressing room, closing the door with more force than necessary. I understood his attitude perfectly, but I wouldn't give in. I wanted to help him regain his self-esteem and make him feel the way I see him: the most handsome guy in the world.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Ander?</em> -I got up and walked over to the door. -<em>Open the door... I want to see you.</em></p><p> </p><p>I heard the door lock open, and seconds later, Ander turned to face me.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Jo-deeer... </em>-I let out a whistle and smiling, I entered the dressing room to kiss him softly on the lips.  The shirt fit him perfectly, and he looked gorgeous... I wasn't exaggerating.</p><p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://imgbb.com/">  </a>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-You know you could pose as a runway model? </em>-I whispered against his neck, hugging him from behind.</p><p> </p><p>Ander gave a fleeting smile; our eyes met through the mirror, and I noticed a gleam of satisfaction in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p><em>-It's obvious you need glasses...</em> -He teased anyway.</p><p> </p><p>I shook my head at him and couldn't help but giggle.  Without thinking twice, I slid both hands under the t-shirt and began to caress his torso. Then, I moved my hand down until I reached his dick and started stroking him on top of the fabric of his jeans.  Ander threw his head back within seconds, and as I felt him getting harder, he let out a hoarse moan.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Is everything all right in there? Do you need anything else?</em> -The voice of the store clerk immediately forced us apart. </p><p> </p><p><em>-Everything is fine, thanks.</em> -Ander barked, clearly affected.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I want to give it to you.</em> -I whispered, kissing him softly. </p><p> </p><p><em>-What?</em> -He shook his head. -<em>No... I don't want you to spend your money on me, Omar. It's way too expensive.</em></p><p> </p><p><em>-I don't care; I want to. I love the way it looks on you. </em>-I insisted until finally, Ander smirked.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Thank you. It will definitely be my favorite one. And now I just want us to go home and finish this thing we started...</em> -He mumbled against my lips.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>-<em>Let's take a cab...</em> -I suggest as we leave the store.</p><p> </p><p>Ander carries the bag with the t-shirt I just gave him and shakes his head.</p><p> </p><p><em>-No... Let's walk back; it's less than five kilometers. Don't be lazy</em>. -He mutters as he starts walking down the wide sidewalk.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing him walking away, I hurry to catch up with him. I know he's doing it to prove to me and to prove to himself that he's strong enough, that he has beaten that fucking disease and can take up any activity he sets his mind to, but I don't agree with him.  He has to understand that, like everything else, things don't change overnight, and his recovery is no exception.  When I reach his side, I gently take him by the arm to force him to stop.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Ander... Please, let's take a cab. We've already walked a lot, and my feet hurt</em>. -I lie, hoping I am convincing enough. I don't know if I succeeded or if Ander just doesn't want to argue, but in the end, he nods.</p><p> </p><p>When we get home, it has started to get dark, and Azucena is preparing dinner.  I help her set the table, and less than ten minutes later, the three of us are sitting, chatting about how the day went.  When we finish dinner, Ander gets up and says he's going upstairs to take a shower. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Okay, I'll see you in a minute.  I'll help your mother clean up the kitchen, and then I have to call my parents to let them know I won't be home tonight.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Don't take too long...</em> -He mumbles against my lips in a soft kiss, winks at me, and walks away upstairs.</p><p> </p><p>I feel my pulse rise and my mouth go dry. I can't remember when Ander and I had sex for the last time; I can't believe that tonight we'll make love again after so long. Just the thought of feeling Ander inside me again makes me start to harden. I try not to blush when Azucena gives me an amused look, and I almost stumble trying to carry more plates and glasses than I can fit in my hands.   </p><p> </p><p><em>-Come on, go up with Ander. It's okay; I'll take over</em>. -She assures me while she puts on her apron.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Are you sure?</em> -I ask her, a little embarrassed. -<em>There's no hurry, really. I can help you wash the dishes.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I'm sure, Omar; besides, I heard you have to call your parents, so hurry up.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I silently thank her and head upstairs to Ander's room. When I finish talking to my parents, I can still hear the shower running, so, tempting my luck, I undress and enter the bathroom in the hope that Ander will let me take a shower with him.</p><p> </p><p>When Ander hears the sound of the door opening, he turns quickly.  He looks at me through the glass panel, and the way he brings both hands to his torso, I know he's uncomfortable. Both his collarbones and ribs are marked from the weight he's lost, but to me, he's still perfect. He hesitates for a few seconds until he slowly lowers his arms and opens the door to let me in.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I've lost a lot of weight, huh?</em> -He lowers his head so he's not looking at me as he speaks. <em>This whole thing is a bummer, I know... and I get it if you aren't attracted to me like you used to be…</em></p><p> </p><p><em>-Shhh... shut up, don't say that. You're perfect. Just perfect… </em> -I whisper to him while I take the sponge from his hands and start rubbing his chest.</p><p> </p><p>Ander closes his eyes, surrendering to my caresses. I can see his Adam's apple bobbing up and down on his throat as Ander swallows saliva. He's nervous, and that only turns me on even more. It's only a matter of seconds before our bodies respond to each other's closeness by getting hard immediately.  I miss him so much I can't wait to feel him inside me again, but I know I have to take it slow, so I slide one of my soapy hands down to reach his erection and start stroking him.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Joder, nene!</em> -I whisper, reaching for his lips. </p><p> </p><p>It's amazing the feeling of having him in my hands again and feeling him getting harder and thicker under my touch. Still caressing him, we kiss with all the passion we are both capable of.  I push my tongue to deepen the kiss, and I explore every millimeter of his mouth, running my tongue over his teeth, across the palate, and back to his lips. I love savoring his mouth; it makes me feel like I'm a thirsty man in the desert, and Ander is the oasis I've been looking for for a long time. His moans are muffled between my lips and the sound of the water, and I feel like I won't be able to hold back any longer.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Let's get out of here...</em> -It's Ander who finally breaks the kiss; his breathing is just like mine, somewhat erratic and desperate.</p><p> </p><p>We stumble out of the shower as neither of us can keep our hands off each other's bodies. Our bodies still have slight beads of water on them as, due to the urgency, we don't dry off properly, but I think the feeling of our slippery bodies is more than aphrodisiacal. When we finally make it all the way to the bed, Ander plops down on his back and holds out his hand for me to come to him.</p><p> </p><p>When I look at him closely, I notice slight dark circles around his eyes and realize he's feeling tired, but he quickly tries to pull himself together and smiles at me as he wants to downplay his tiredness. I open the drawer where I knew he keeps the lube and condoms, and once I find what I'm looking for, I very slowly approach him.</p><p> </p><p>-<em>You don't know how much I've missed you, nene...</em> -I hum hoarsely, handing him the condom as I open the tube of lube.</p><p> </p><p>Ander looks at the condom and takes it somewhat hesitantly. He leans up a little on his elbows, and I hear him say in a very low voice:</p><p> </p><p><em>-Do you think you can ride me? </em>-He looks away for a moment, running his tongue over his lips. -It's just that... I'm feeling a little tired and... -The rest of the sentence dies on his lips.</p><p> </p><p>In that instant, I realize my stupidity. I was so lost in my emotions, in the longing to feel him again, that I overlooked the effort it takes for Ander to fuck me. I close my eyes for a moment, and when I open them, I notice certain insecurity in his gaze. I reach over and kiss him softly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Don't you think it is better if I do you this time? You know how much I love it... </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-You don't mind? Because I can do it, I really can, Omar. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I know you can, nene, but there's nothing I want more right now than to make love to you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I don't wait for him to answer me; his body's response to my suggestion is enough. Ander arches slightly, and I take advantage of this move to lick the corner of his mouth. I pull away for a moment and find myself staring into Ander's gorgeous, warm eyes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I'm thinking of all the things I want to do to you. I want us to enjoy this moment as if it were the first time, remember?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ander softens his features as he smiles at me. And then, he nods.</p><p> </p><p>I wrap my hand around Ander's dick, sliding over his length. My fingertips play with the precum dripping from him. I can only feel the desire growing inside of me. I need some time to pull myself together, but... Jodeeer! I want him so badly.</p><p> </p><p>Ander leans over and kisses me; his tongue slides along my lips, and he gasps as my lips willingly open to welcome him. I close my eyes to enhance the moment; as we kiss, I feel like I'm about to cum.  Every brush of his tongue feels like an electric shock going straight to my dick, and as a result, all I can think about is being inside him.</p><p> </p><p>I don't know if Ander has read my mind or if it was the moan that unintentionally escaped my throat, but he hands me the lube as he spreads his legs to give me control. Jodeeer! For a few seconds, I can't move, I can't even speak; I just delight in the sight before me.  Ander is gorgeous in every sense of the word, and I can't conceive of him looking any different than he really does.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, I am able to react; greedily, I pour a generous amount of the clear gel onto my hand and begin to stroke him.  When the first finger slips inside him, Ander lets out a moan that mingles with my own. It's been so long since I last had him like this that everything feels new to me.  And watching his face transform as I caress him only makes me want to drag this moment out forever.  As I watch him, I'm sure this feeling is absolutely overwhelming not only for me but for him as well.</p><p> </p><p>He is so tight that for a moment, I consider using my tongue. But only the thought of licking him and opening him up with my tongue is almost enough to drive me over the edge. I'm so horny that if I used my mouth, I'd cum right then and there before I could even enter him. So, I decide against it and push a second finger inside him. I twist my fingers, looking for that sweet spot that I know could take him to heaven. When I find it, I press lightly and smile when I hear him gasping for air.</p><p> </p><p>I remind myself that I need to be gentle… I need to prepare Ander so that he doesn't feel the slightest pain; on the contrary, the only thing I want is for him to enjoy as he has never done before.  Besides, I know that once I'm inside him, I'll have to restrain myself and move very slowly because he is so fragile, and I absolutely don't want to hurt him.</p><p> </p><p>I roll my body to lie on top of him, crushing his erection against mine, as I move slowly, making him moan. His moans mingle with mine when suddenly I hear him murmur in a hoarse voice:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Omar, I need you so badly... I want you inside me now.  I want you to make me cum as hard as possible like you used to do.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I can't listen to him anymore because just hearing his pleas makes me about to cum. It's been so long since we were last together that my senses are hypersensitive.  So, all I can do is shut him up with my lips while I push my fingers against his entrance once more.</p><p> </p><p>My mouth closes over his again, and I get lost in the kiss. It is like the world stops as if I have no breath, nothing but this connection.  Other sensations merge with Ander's response to my kisses, make it even better. The slow rocking of my body on his, and the gentle sliding of my fingers inside him, make him moan… Make me moan.</p><p> </p><p>I meet Ander's gaze and whisper:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I want you right here, with me. Every inch of your gorgeous body and your heart and your mind right here on me... every single bit of it, because I need you to be sure that neither cancer nor anything else will ever make me change the way I feel about you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-I'm right here... with you.</em> -Ander mumbles; his cheeks are flushed.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Vale... because I'm not going to let you think I don't want you. Just feel, enjoy. I want us to get lost in each other, in the things we need.</em> -My gaze holding his and not letting him look away.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Vale... Then show me how much you want me... </em>-Ander leans over me for another kiss.</p><p> </p><p>Each kiss draws into another, stealing my breath and whatever is left of my willpower. Ander's kisses are demanding, and my world starts to spin, and all I can do is try to hold on and not fuck him as hard and rough as I would like and as he is asking me to. I groan, pushing our mouths together; I grab hold of Ander's tongue and suck, savoring him.</p><p> </p><p>When I am absolutely sure that Ander is wide enough, I pull out my fingers and reach for the condom.  I tear the foil wrapper with my teeth and slide it over my hard length.  Then I squeeze the tube of lube and spread it on my erection and start to push inside Ander slowly.</p><p> </p><p>I wrap my hands around his biceps, holding on as we rock together, slow and gentle. Still, almost instantly, I realize how sensitive his skin is, as I can see the marks from my fingers, so I immediately release him and hold on to the bed's headboard because I don't want to leave bruises on Ander's skin.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Omar... I need you to move, please! Faster, deeper... Jodeeer!  </em>-Ander groans, lifting his hips for me to get inside of him deeper.</p><p> </p><p>I grind my teeth, forcing myself to hold back, and begin to jerk him off.  The pleasure is so intense that we don't even last five minutes when I start to feel some strong spasms before I cum deep inside him. I stroke him a couple more times, and seconds later, Ander cums all over my hand.</p><p> </p><p>I linger for a moment before I completely pull out of Ander because I want to prolong this pleasant sensation. When I finally do, I take off the condom and knot it before putting it aside. I get up to go to the bathroom and return a moment later with a damp cloth.</p><p> </p><p>Ander is lying in the same position I left him. His eyes are closed, and he is breathing rhythmically. The mattress sinks slightly as I sit next to him, and I begin to wipe the semen from Ander's abdomen and torso gently.  As I do so, I am aware of the complicity and intimacy involved in this gesture. And the certainty that Ander and I know each other so intimately overwhelms me in a way I can't explain.</p><p> </p><p>I would love to let myself fall on top of him, so I could stick my ear to his chest and listen to his heartbeat.  It's one of the things I enjoy most when we're done fucking, but this time, I let myself fall gently next to him because I don't want to hurt him.</p><p> </p><p>I wrap my arm over his abdomen and squeeze him gently. I lavish a couple of kisses on his bare skin, still enjoying the post-coital pleasure. I feel satisfied and fulfilled after what we just shared. My eyes close, and I'm about to fall asleep when Ander's words leave me frozen. It takes several seconds before I can understand what he has just said.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I bet you'd rather fuck Malick… I can't even blame you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Confessions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi!</p><p>Chapter 4 is here! We hope you enjoy this chapter!</p><p>We want to thank you all for the incredible response to this fic!</p><p>xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Ander is lying in the same position I left him. His eyes are closed, and he is breathing rhythmically. The mattress sinks slightly as I sit next to him, and I begin to wipe the semen from Ander's abdomen and torso gently.  As I do so, I am aware of the complicity and intimacy involved in this gesture. And the certainty that Ander and I know each other so intimately overwhelms me in a way I can't explain.</p><p> </p><p>I would love to let myself fall on top of him, so I could stick my ear to his chest and listen to his heartbeat.  It's one of the things I enjoy most when we're done fucking, but this time, I let myself fall gently next to him because I don't want to hurt him.</p><p> </p><p>I wrap my arm over his abdomen and squeeze him gently. I lavish a couple of kisses on his bare skin, still enjoying the post-coital pleasure. I feel satisfied and fulfilled after what we just shared. My eyes close, and I'm about to fall asleep when Ander's words leave me frozen. It takes several seconds before I can understand what he has just said.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I bet you'd rather fuck Malick… I can't even blame you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Chapter 4. Confessions</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>(Omar)</em>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-What? No, of course, I don't want to fuck Malick. How can you even think that? -</em>My voice trembles when I speak.</p><p> </p><p>I already know the answer as I realize that Ander knows about Malick and me. Loads of questions invade my mind. <em>How did he find out?  Since when does he know? Why hasn’t he said anything sooner? Does this mean the end of us?</em> <em>Is this already over before we even had the chance to start over properly?</em></p><p> </p><p><em>-His body is perfect, while mine is... disgusting.</em> -Ander mumbles; his voice sounds weak.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Stop it, Ander. Please don't say such things.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I don't know what to say or what to do as I am shocked at Ander's words. I reach over to touch his arm, but he shrugs my hand away immediately.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Don't touch me... </em>-Ander gets up from the bed, wrapping the sheets around him to cover himself up. I see tears running down his cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-This isn't going to work. I think you made a mistake by choosing me. Maybe you should go after Malick.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Although the words hurt me deeply, I feel anger bubble up inside of me. I hate it that he tries to push me away again. But this time I won't let him. I can't prevent anger from sounding through in my voice.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Jodeeer, I don't want Malick. I want you. I understand you are going through a rough time. But we are in this together. So, stop fucking push me away. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Or else? You are just going to fuck another random guy?</em> -Ander bit out the words.</p><p> </p><p>I dip my head as I listen to him. I can feel tears burning in my eyes. It was exactly what I had done. It was the biggest mistake of my life. But I need to take full responsibility for what I did. Yes, Ander had pushed me away over and over again, but it is no excuse for what I did. I handled things wrong. Having sex with Malick gave me a mental escape. It gave me the energy I needed to go back to Ander even if he pushed me away. It gave me the energy I needed to support Ander. It gave me the feeling I still mattered. But as good as it had felt at the moment, I had sex with Malick, how terrible I felt instantly after. Knowing I had betrayed the person I loved more than anything in the world.</p><p> </p><p>The moment I realized I had handled things wrong was the moment Ander had shown his vulnerability to me. I remember us sitting at Teatro Barceló. I had just told Ander I was going to New York with Malick, and all I wanted was for him to stop me from leaving, but he didn't.  When he wanted to take the blame for Polo's dead because he was dying anyway, I stopped him from doing it. And when I asked what he needed, he broke down and confessed he needed me. It was the first time he ever showed me his vulnerable side. It made my heart melt. I remember getting angry when the next thing he told me was that he made up the story with Alexis to push me away, so I just walked away, leaving him behind.</p><p> </p><p>When they let us go after the police questioning, I was tempted to run straight into Ander's arms when I saw him alone, sitting on the sidewalk looking at Malick and me. He looked as if he wanted to die right then and there. But the anger I felt about him lying was stronger than the need to hold him in my arms, so I turned around and got in the car with Malick, leaving not only Ander behind but also a piece of my heart.</p><p> </p><p>But when I started to reflect on things, I knew we both handled it wrong. We should have talked without fear of telling the truth about our feelings. Instead of talking to Ander about how I felt, how I really felt, I slept with Malick. I can't undo that mistake; it is something I will have to live with forever. I hope that Ander understands that it is something I will regret for the rest of my life. And I swear I will never do something like that again, never.</p><p> </p><p>I can see the anger in Ander's eyes. I know we need to talk about what happened with Malick, but judging from the look in his eyes, it is better that I leave. I get out of bed and start to put on my clothes, feeling Ander's gaze on my back.</p><p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://imgbb.com/">
    
  </a>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-What are you doing? Are you seriously leaving?</em> -I can hear Ander's voice sounding bitter.</p><p> </p><p>I look at him as I continue to dress myself. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I think it is better if I leave now. I want us to talk about this when we are both calm. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>I see Ander coming closer as he sits next to me on the bed while I put on my shoes. He places his hand on my knee as he starts to rub it. I can see tears rolling down his cheeks as I hear him whisper.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I don</em>'<em>t want you to go, Omar… </em></p><p> </p><p>Gently I wipe away his tears with my thumb. I don't want to leave either, but I have to. Before one of us says something, we will regret it. I just want to say one thing before I leave.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I don't want to go either, but I think we both need some time alone. I just want you to know that it is only you that I want. What happened with Malick is something I will regret for the rest of my life. I never had feelings for him. You are the only one I have ever loved and the only one I will ever love. Te quiero.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-I love you too...</em> -Ander whispers as he lays his head on my shoulder.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I know you do.</em> -I smile before I get up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I will call you tomorrow, okay? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, I'm afraid he will do something to prevent me from leaving, but he doesn't. He just nods in agreement that I'll call him tomorrow. As I walk out the door, I desperately want to believe that we are strong enough to overcome this.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>(Ander)</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>I had never felt more concerned about our relationship than I do now. Nervously, I walk around my room and once a minute, look at my watch to check on the time. Omar could walk through the door every minute now. This morning he called, just like he had promised. Although his voice sounded warm, he seemed distant, as if he was distracted.</p><p> </p><p>It scared me the shit out of me; <em>what if I have pushed him away once again? What if this time he decides to not come back? </em>Since the moment he walked out yesterday, I have missed him terribly. I barely slept last night; all I could think about was how I always manage to screw things up. Omar is right; when things get rough, I push the people I care most about away. I just don't want to burden them with my problems. But I realize that If I want to make things work with Omar, I need to stop pushing him away. And there is absolutely nothing I want more than build a future with Omar. I need to take responsibility for my actions.</p><p> </p><p>I turn around when I hear the door open, and my heart skips a beat when I see Omar walking in. He walks straight to me and kisses me on the lips.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Hey...</em> -He whispers softly.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Hey...</em> -I whisper back, not knowing what else to say. Omar walks towards the bed and sits on it, placing his hand on the mattress, making it clear he wants me to sit next to him. I take a deep breath before I plop down next to him.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I'm sorry.</em> -I mumble. <em>-I'm really sorry... I behaved like a complete idiot yesterday. I shouldn't have never said the things I did. I didn't mean them.</em></p><p> </p><p>Omar looks at me for a moment before he starts to speak. Surely, I can see understanding but also regret in his gaze.</p><p> </p><p>-<em>Yes, you did mean them, Ander. But it's not your fault; it's all my fault. I'm the one that made a huge mistake. I'm the one that screwed things up by sleeping with Malick.</em></p><p> </p><p><em>-No, I only have myself to blame for it. I pushed you away over and over again. I even told you to go out with others</em>. -I answer, knowing my behavior back then pushed him in the arms of Malick.</p><p> </p><p><em>-That still doesn't give me the right to hook up with somebody else. And the worst part is that I have no excuse for why I did it.</em> -Omar takes my hand and rubs it softly with his thumb.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Did you feel like a prisoner with me?</em> -It's a question that pops up in my mind.</p><p> </p><p>Omar shakes his head.</p><p> </p><p><em>-No, not with you. I felt like a prisoner of your disease. It was holding us both prisoned. Sex with Malick was an escape, a breakaway. For a moment, I could forget everything. Somehow it gave me the energy I needed to fight with you against cancer. At the moment I had sex with him, it felt liberating, but immediately afterward, I felt like a complete asshole. It was so wrong what I did, so wrong...</em> -His voice cracks in the end.</p><p> </p><p>I can see how Omar dips his head and starts to cry. I know he genuinely feels guilty about what he has done. Omar still has no clue that I have known this for such a long time. He needs to know the truth. I put my hand under his chin as I chip it up a little, so he is forced to look at me. I can feel how tears are rolling down my cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Omar, I also made mistakes. I have known about you and Malick for quite some time.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I can see the surprise written all over his face, and he wants to say something, but I don't let him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Please, let me talk. It was the day you were moving my bed downstairs with my mother when messages from Malick appeared on your phone. That's how I found out about him and you... I went to confront him, and he confessed everything, and he also said that he liked being with you and thought you felt the same.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Again, Omar wants to say something, but I place my finger against his lips as I'm not done talking yet.</p><p> </p><p>-<em>That's when I decided to set you free. I was convinced I was dying, and I wanted you to be happy. That's why I made up my affair with Alexis. I pushed you away… I pushed you straight in the arms of Malick. I later regretted it and wanted to make things right again, but when I went after you to try to fix it, I overheard you talking to Malick in the locker rooms at school.</em></p><p> </p><p><em>-What?</em> -Omar whispers as he shakes his head in disbelief.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I heard you say that Malick did mean something to you. And I realized I was too late. But then Polo died, and suddenly I was so scared about dying. All I wanted was to be with you again. I needed you then, and I need you now.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Omar interrupted me again, and this time I let him.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-Ander, listen to me.  I never had feelings for Malick. Never! You have to believe me. </em>
  <em>I tried to convince myself that I did, to justify myself, because I knew I was using him. I wanted to get away from you as far as possible. I was so hurt by the fact that you were having an affair with Alexis even though I had no right to feel that way after what I did to you.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>-I didn't have an affair with Alexis.</em> -I want to say it again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I know. I can remember your exact words...  </em>
  <em>And later that night, you told me that you had made it all up to push me away. First, I was so mad that you lied to me, but later, I realized that you still loved me and, more important, that I still loved you. That's why I couldn't go to New York. I want to be with you because I love you so fucking much.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>There is only one question burning on my mind. One that is very important to me. Because Omar and I once promised that we would only give ourselves to each other. Because to us, it is the ultimate proof that we love each other.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I only have one question... Did Malick... did you let...</em> -I can't get the question over my lips. It is too painful to ask. But apparently, Omar knows what my question is because he answers:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I have never let Malick fuck me. I couldn't give myself to him because I never stopped loving you. I will never be able to give myself to anybody else than you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I slowly let out a large breath of which I wasn't even aware I was holding. That was all I wanted to hear, all I needed to know. I already thought he hadn't, but I wanted to be sure.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I'm so sorry that I cheated on you. I promise that it will never happen again. I hope you can forgive me.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I can feel the tightness in my chest slowly disappear.  All those hours, I have been afraid that I had pushed Omar away for good this time. I am so relieved that I haven't.</p><p> </p><p><em>-There is nothing to forgive; we have both made mistakes. I just want to put this all in the past so we can focus on our future.  Because I love you, and I don’t ever want to lose you again. </em>-I whisper while I wrap my arms around Omar and pull him close against me. I feel how he wraps his arms around me, too, as he holds me tight.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I don't want to lose you either... </em>-He whispers against my skin.  </p><p> </p><p>I can feel his lips move up my neck, on my jaw, until his lips find mine in a sweet and tender kiss. Our tongues collide as the kiss becomes more passionate. I can feel how Omar let his hands slide underneath my shirt over my torso. Without even realizing it, I hold my breath. I can feel Omar stop his movements; he pulls back and looks me straight in the eyes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Ander, listen to me. I know you hate your body right now, but you have to believe me. Your body will recover. You will get back in perfect shape, but it will take some time. And your curls will grow back quickly. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>As he says the words, he lets his hand gently slide over my head. I can't wait for my curls to grow back again because I love the way he used to play with them.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-You are still the most handsome guy I know. Every time I see you, my heart starts to race. The way you look at me with your gorgeous eyes makes my heart melt. And when you touch me, you drive me wild. That has never changed, and it will never change. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>I'm unable to say something, but it isn't necessary. A tear escapes my eyes; Omar is right. My body will recover, and it will become stronger than it has ever been. I will make sure of it.  </p><p> </p><p>When I look at Omar, I can see the desire in his gaze, and that makes me feel bold.  So, without thinking twice, I grab the collar of my t-shirt and quickly pull it over my head, revealing my bare torso. Omar removes his own shirt before he pushes me down on the bed and kisses me with all the passion he has inside of him.</p><p> </p><p>A few seconds later, he breaks the kiss and cups my cheeks, so our gazes meet.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I will always be by your side, and I'm not going to let you push me away ever again, Ander. Not even a little bit.  You must understand that we are together not only in the good times but in the bad times as well... Because that's what couples do.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>His words move me more than I can express. I only have to look him in the eyes to be completely sure that he is the man of my life.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I get it now. I promise you that I'll never push you away again. Never. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Omar cracks a smile, and his voice drops, become more intimate.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I'm not sure if you are aware of how much your closeness affects me. </em>-As he talks, he takes my hand and brings it against the fabric of his jeans so I can feel how hard he is. -<em>You have the power to bring me in ecstasy with just one look.  I've never ever felt so drowned to somebody like I am with you.</em></p><p> </p><p>Omar's hand slides over my bare torso, and little by little, his hand downs over my belly, stroking me and making me feel like I am the most desirable guy in the world. At this moment, I forget all my insecurities, and all I want is to demonstrate it to him. Words are not necessary right now.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Omar...</em> - I breathe. But that's all I can say because speaking is beyond my capacity at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>Slowly, he slides his hand inside my pants and begins to caress me; with slow movements, he moves his wrist, applying just the right amount of pressure, making me moan. He presses his thumb over my tip, and each time he moves his hand, my arousal grows. His hand wraps around me in the most beautiful way. His sweet breath brushes my face, and his tongue licks my mouth.</p><p> </p><p>While we kiss, I mimic him, and I am pleased with his hardness; Omar's dick is dripping, and with my thumb, I spread the precum over his shaft, causing him tremble.</p><p> </p><p>Now, our pants are a barrier, and with clumsy movements, we take them off.</p><p> </p><p><em>-This is so...</em> -I struggle to tell him how I feel. -<em>...hot. Your touch feels so... intense.</em></p><p> </p><p>Without thinking twice, I turn and straddle him. Once I have him in the position I want, I slide my wet lips down his torso. I close my eyes as I inhale his scent. His skin smells like a mixture of citrus soap and clean sweat.  I stop for a moment at one of his nipples and lick it gently with the tip of my tongue.  For a few seconds, I enjoy his body's reaction before continuing my journey to my final goal.</p><p> </p><p>Omar moans, his fingers clutch at my head to guide me desperately towards his hard length, and I gladly let myself be guided. </p><p> </p><p><em>-Jodeeer nene...</em> -The rest of the sentence dies on his lips as he is only able to let out a series of gasps.</p><p> </p><p>I know Omar's reactions perfectly well, so when I'm pretty sure he's about to cum, I slow down and focus myself on his taut balls to give him a breather. I'd love to make love to him, but I'm not sure I'm strong enough to keep up the pace, so instead of taking that risk, tonight I'll settle for pleasuring him with my mouth, but apparently, Omar has something else in mind.</p><p> </p><p>I feel his firm hands gripping my shoulders to make me stop. Reluctantly, I stop and raise my face to meet his gaze. He immediately loosens his grip as if he suddenly remembers something and smirks, his pupils are dilated and his lips swollen, half-open. He leans up until he is sitting on the mattress and pulls my arms gently; I gladly lean into his touch, and our mouths meet in a sloppy kiss.</p><p> </p><p>It all happens so fast; I'm so focused on the sensations Omar is making me feel that I don't realize what he intends to do until he breaks the kiss and tightens his arms around me, rolling us onto the mattress. I'm the one laying on his back, and, without hesitation, he lies on my body, but with his face just inches removed from my dick. I feel his warm breath on my most sensitive area, and a few seconds later, he slides his tongue all over my erection. </p><p> </p><p>I immediately understand what he wants when he lifts his hips a little, resting on my torso, to give me access to his dick. In that movement, Omar lays his weight on my legs, and I feel a sharp pain in my hips. My bones are hurting, but I don't want Omar to know it. So, I clench my teeth to bear the pain.</p><p> </p><p>I reach out and wrap my hand firmly around his thick shaft, and even though he's hard, his skin is so soft. I move my hand, stroking up and down its length, and I release a moan when Omar takes me in completely. I cannot describe what I'm feeling... I've always adored Omar's dick... I caress his hardness, seizing the moment I use my free hand to fondle his ass.</p><p> </p><p>As I wank him, I smear the precum around his tip. It feels slippery and, when I do it, Omar draws in his breath sharply. I know what he likes, so I bite him gently. He pauses for a moment to speak very softly, almost in a whisper:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Ander... please. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He doesn't need to say anything else; I lean forward to kiss him, my lips brushing the precum, and with my tongue, touch my lips to taste it; his salty taste makes me feel wild, so I lick it all along its length. Omar is ecstatic as my tongue works on him, and, in response, his hands grip my thighs firmly as he continues stroking my hardness with his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>The pleasure I feel is indescribable and, from Omar's movements, I know he is feeling exactly the same. The two of us pleasuring each other with our mouths... and with every second, I feel that we are not far from reaching heaven.</p><p> </p><p>My mouth is full; I can feel him almost until my throat, even though half of his shaft remains outside my mouth. I close my eyes and lose myself in pleasure.  This position turns me on incredibly, giving each other pleasure at the same time, and I want to give him the same pleasure he is giving me. As I suck, he sucks me harder... I move my head up and down, and Omar mimics my movements.</p><p> </p><p>We are both trembling, and I realize that at any moment now, the both of us will cum. I feel his dick lurch in my mouth as warm semen is spurted all over my throat, and I swallow it.  I open my lips to release him, and I can't help but moan. In this precise moment, Omar sucks my shaft, licking it with the tip of his tongue.</p><p> </p><p>It feels so fucking hot... I'm so aroused that I'll cum within seconds. When I get the feeling in my balls, Omar sucks harder and holds my hips tighter so that I won't move, and of course, I can't. Even if I wanted to because all his weight is over my body. Finally, I groan and shudder as the first squirt of my semen goes deep in Omar's mouth. I'm panting and moaning as each shot of it is pumped into his mouth. Omar's hands fondle my thighs, my trembling legs, as I empty myself into his warm wet mouth.</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes later, Omar moves to lie down next to me. He kisses me softly as he slides his fingertips over my chest. The depth of his love shakes me. I lose myself in him, in his arms, and the way he looks at me. His fingers interlace with mine. His loving gaze makes me smile.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Te quiero...</em> -Omar speaks very softly, but I hear him clearly. The sound of his voice and the way he says it makes me feel complete. I lean my forehead against his and breathe in his scent.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Yo también te quiero...</em> -I can barely speak. I feel so tired, but I make a huge effort to stay awake.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I know...</em> -He whispers as he gently cradles me in his arms. -<em>Now, sleep well, nene.</em></p><p> </p><p>The sound of his voice lulls me to sleep, and little by little, I begin to sink into a deep slumber.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Unexpected</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi, a new chapter is here!</p><p>We hope you enjoy it!</p><p>xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes later, Omar moves to lie down next to me. He kisses me softly as he slides his fingertips over my chest. The depth of his love shakes me. I lose myself in him, in his arms, and the way he looks at me. His fingers interlace with mine. His loving gaze makes me smile.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Te quiero...</em> -Omar speaks very softly, but I hear him clearly. The sound of his voice and the way he says it makes me feel complete. I lean my forehead against his and breathe in his scent.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Yo también te quiero...</em> -I can barely speak. I feel so tired, but I make a huge effort to stay awake.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I know...</em> -He whispers as he gently cradles me in his arms. -<em>Now, sleep well, nene.</em></p><p> </p><p>The sound of his voice lulls me to sleep, and little by little, I begin to sink into a deep slumber.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Chapter 5. Unexpected </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>(Ander)</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>  </strong>
</p><p>I stand in front of the bathroom mirror to see how I look, and once again, I feel nerves racing through my body.  I glance at my watch and see that I'm supposed to be at Omar's house in 45 minutes. I'm having dinner with Omar and his parents, and if I don't hurry up, I'm going to be terribly late. All I want to do is, make a good impression. Although Omar has tried to reassure me that his parents are accepting me as his boyfriend, over and over again, I can't seem to shake the past.  </p><p> </p><p>I know how Omar's father has threatened him in the past. I can't forget the pain it had caused Omar. And I still see the images in my head, how Omar's father dragged Nadia out of the classroom once. The anger in the man's eyes had terrified me. But according to Omar, his father was really changing. So, I need to let go of everything that happened before.</p><p> </p><p>And then there is Omar's mother. I definitely didn't make a good impression on her the first time I met her. I was pretty drunk when I brought Nadia to the hospital after we found out their father had a stroke. I said all those stupid things, and on top of that, I even said I wasn't into girls as I looked at Omar, who was standing next to his mother. I remember they both had the same disapproval look on their faces. I totally screwed it up back then.</p><p> </p><p>So, I want to, no, I correct myself; I need to make a good impression on them this time. I really want them to like me because Omar is the one, I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I know I'm still young, but he just is the one for me. Suddenly I wish Omar was here with me now, he would be able to calm my nerves, but we agreed to meet up at his parents' house. Something I slightly regret right now. I take one final look in the mirror.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Mierda!</em> - I curse out loud as I notice the large stain of toothpaste on my shirt. <em>"Why do those things always happen to me?"</em> I was already bummed that the t-shirt I initially wanted to wear tonight was still in the laundry. I had really wanted to wear the Lacoste one Omar had bought me earlier this week.</p><p> </p><p>Quickly I take off my shirt and toss it aside as I walk into my bedroom to grab the first shirt that is stalled on my bed with a bunch of other shirts. I throw it over my head and worm my arms through the armholes.  I sit down on the bed as I fetch my sneaker and put it on. <em>"Where the hell is the other one?"</em></p><p> </p><p><em>-JODER!</em> -I curse again as I don't see it. I get on my knees and look under my bed. There is no sneaker to be found. I don't have time to search through the mess in my room. I'm going to be so fucking late. I place my toes on the heel of my sneaker to get it off again.</p><p> </p><p>I run down the stairs, through the kitchen into the scullery. I open the closet and grab my old pair of tennis shoes. I walk back to the kitchen, where my mom is sitting at the table; she gives me a questioning look.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Don't even ask... </em>-I mumble as I sit down for a moment to put on my shoes.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Honey,</em> -I hear her say. <em>-Just relax, everything will be fine. How can they not like my handsome son?</em></p><p> </p><p>I smile; my mother always seems to know what's on my mind. I stand up and walk over to her and press a kiss on her forehead. -Well, that doesn’t count for anything because you are biased.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Shall I give you a ride?</em> -She asks. It tempts me, but no, I have already made up my mind; I will go on my bike. I can use the exercise to get my body back in shape.</p><p> </p><p><em>-No, thank you, I'm fine. I will just go on my bike.</em> -I walk to the door as I remember something; I look over my shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Oh, mum?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-Yes, honey?</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Please don't go to my room. I promise to clean up the mess tomorrow. </em>-I know my mom will freak out when she sees my wardrobe spread out all over my room. What can I say? I really do want to make a good impression.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Put on your jacket, Ander!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I hear my mom yell. She is overly protective of me, too protective. Still, I obey her as I put on my jacket just like she told me to before I leave the house. I take a look at my watch before I get on my bike. If I peddle fast, I can probably make it just in time.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>(Omar)</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>I lean against the wall of our store; I catch myself biting my nails. I know it is a bad habit, but it is something I always do when I'm nervous. And at this moment I'm very nervous. I look down the street, but there is still no sign of Ander. It is almost eight o clock; he should have been here already. I know my parents are very punctual. I had expected Ander to be early as I knew he wanted to make a good impression on my parents. So, when I saw the clock in the living room reach 7.50, I couldn't stand it any longer. I rushed down the stairs, deciding I would wait for him outside.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, I see movement from down the street; it's Ander. I sigh with relief that he is on time.</p><p> </p><p>When he stops in front of me, I can see he looks pale, and he is out of breath. I realize that he has gone through extreme measures to be here on time.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Hey...</em> -I mumble as I take over his bike and place it against the wall.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Hi, am I on time? </em>-I can hear he is short of breath. When I look at him, I can see he has a nervous smile on his face. My god, he looks worried.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Yes, you are, don't worry. </em>-I kiss him on his lips. I grab his hand and drag him along with me.</p><p> </p><p>We climb the stairs to the entrance of the apartment. Just in front of the door, Ander starts to take off his shoes.</p><p> </p><p><em>-What are you doing?</em> -I ask him as I look down on him.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Taking off my shoes...</em> -He smiles at me.</p><p> </p><p>I smile as it occurs to me that Ander apparently searched the internet for rituals of our culture. It is custom for people from Palestine to take off their shoes before entering somebody's house. But we live in Spain, and Ander doesn't have to take off his shoes.</p><p> </p><p>When I look down at his feet, I start to laugh uncontrollably hard.</p><p> </p><p>Ander looks at me in confusion. <em>-What's wrong?</em></p><p> </p><p><em>-Are you aware that you are wearing two different socks? </em>-I grin widely.</p><p> </p><p><em>-What?</em> -Ander looks down. <em>-Jodeeer!</em></p><p> </p><p>I can see that he starts to panic. I grab his chin and force him to look at me, and when his hazelnut-colored eyes meet my eyes, I reassure him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Ander, relax. My parents won't even notice.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>I wrap my arms around him and pull him against me. I press my lips on his as I kiss him. Ander opens his mouth slightly, and I take advantage of it by letting my tongue slip in his mouth. Our tongues collide in a warm, wet and hot game of exploring each corner of each other mouths. I press my crotch against Ander's. I can feel he's getting hard.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Omar!</em> -I quickly pull back as I hear my mother's voice.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Joder...</em> -Ander swears.</p><p> </p><p>We both look at Ander's crotch. <em>“Why did he have to wear tight jeans tonight?” </em>There is no denying, his erection is definitely showing through the fabric of his jeans. I can hear footsteps approaching the door; I turn around, face towards the door. Ander quickly shrugs off his jacket. Quickly, I step in front of Ander, just in time as the door swings open and my mother smiles at us.</p><p> </p><p>I want to distract my mother, but at that same moment, Ander steps beside me. I see he has hung his jacket over his arm, which is in front of him now, covering the whole thing up.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Mom, this is Ander...</em> -I know she already knows him, but I just want to introduce him properly. <em>-...My boyfriend.</em></p><p> </p><p><em>-Good evening, Mrs. Shanaa; I'm Ander</em>. -Ander stretches out his hand, and I see how my mother grabs it eagerly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Nice to meet you, Ander. Come in, and please call me Iman.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>The next thing I see is that my mother reaches for Ander's jacket.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Can I take your jacket?</em> -She asks while she smiles warmly at Ander. I can see panic spread all over Ander's face. I place my hand on my mother's arm to prevent her from taking the jacket from Ander.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Mom, Ander likes to keep his jacket close. Sometimes he gets cold; it is still a side effect of the chemo's he has had.</em> -I can see my mother feels sorry.</p><p> </p><p>-I'm sorry, Ander, forgive me, I didn't know.</p><p> </p><p><em>-It's okay, Mrs. Shanaa </em>-I can hear the relief in his voice.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Please call me Iman. Come in, you guys, dinner is almost ready.</em> -My mother turns around and disappears into the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>My god that was a close call. I take Ander's free hand and interlaced our fingers together, and I can feel his hand being very sweaty. I know he's very nervous about meeting my father. I squeeze his hand softly to reassure him.</p><p> </p><p>As we enter the living room, I can see my father getting up from his chair. I can see how his eyes dart to our interlaced fingers. </p><p> </p><p>I see how the look on my father's face hardens. I can feel how Ander tries to pull his hand out of mine, but I won't let him. Instead, I tighten my grip around his fingers. This is my fathers' problem; he has to deal with it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Baba, this is Ander. My boyfriend.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, there is complete silence in the room. For a moment, I fear the worse. But then my father stretches out his hand towards Ander.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Welcome Ander, I'm Yusef Shanaa.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I let go of Ander's hand so he can shake my father's hand.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Ander Muñoz, nice to meet you, sir.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-Yusef, call me Yusef. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>A smile appears on my father's face. When I see the smile, I let out the breath I didn't even know I was holding. For a moment, I was afraid that my father changed his mind again. I know my father needs to get used to seeing me with a man. I know that, even how much I want my father to immediately accept it, I need to let him get used to Ander and me slowly.</p><p> </p><p>Luckily, I have all the time in the world to do that because I'm never letting go of Ander ever again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>(Ander)</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>I feel very uncomfortable; I can feel how blood is being pumped through my entire body. I press my jacket closer to my body, silently thanking my mom for making me wear it. I don't want to think about what would have happened if she hadn't forced me. What would Omar's mother think of me if she had seen how turned on, I was. That would have been a hell of an impression.</p><p> </p><p><em>"And what about Omar's father?"</em> I don't even want to think about his possible reaction because I have seen the disapproval look on his face when he saw our joined hands. I wanted to pull back my hand, but Omar didn't let me. Instead, Omar had held my hand more tightly.</p><p> </p><p>I feel some kind of relief wash over me as Omar's father welcomes me. I can see the features on his face soften. But still, I can't help myself feeling so fucking nervous.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Would you like something to drink, Ander?</em> -Iman asks while she places the dish she is holding onto the table.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Yes, please.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-What would you like?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-A beer, please. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>I desperately long for a beer. I know I can't drink much due to the medication I still have to take. But one beer can't do any harm. A beer would certainly help me unwind a little.</p><p> </p><p><em>-A beer?</em> -It isn't until I hear Yusef repeating my words that I realize I made a mistake. They don't drink alcohol. And before I even realize it, I swear out loud.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Joder...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>This is going all wrong; first, I ask for alcohol, and the next thing I do is swear out loud. Omar's parents are going to hate me. I feel tears burning in my eyes; I can't seem to hold them back as they start to roll down my cheeks. I angrily wipe them away with the palm of my hand. I hate feeling this vulnerable, but at this moment, I can't help myself.  Maybe it is a side effect of the chemo as well.  Sometimes my emotions get out of control, like now.  I hate it, but at the same time, I couldn't care less about it.</p><p> </p><p>I can see them staring at me, I can't bear to see their looks, so I close my eyes while I mumble an excuse.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I am so sorry... I am just... I am... </em>-I'm completely lost for words. I'm too afraid to say something stupid again.</p><p> </p><p>I can feel an arm being placed on my arm as I hear Iman's voice, which sounds warm and friendly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-It's okay, Ander. I'm very sorry we are making you feel so nervous. That is certainly not our intention.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I open my eyes, and I see the genuine smile on her face. I turn around to face Omar, who approaches me and wipes away the final tears of my cheeks.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Are you okay?</em> -He whispers while he looks at me with his big brown eyes. His eyes have a calming effect on me. I close my eyes for a second before I nod.</p><p> </p><p>The next thing that happens takes me completely off guard. Yusef hands me a bottle of beer, and he also gives one to Omar. The surprised look Omar gives his dad makes me chuckle, and I laugh even louder when I hear Yusef's comment.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-If I can accept my son being gay, I sure can accept the fact that he drinks a beer.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It is the first time that I hear Omar's father laugh out loud, and I quite enjoy the sound of it. I look at Omar, who is still looking sheepishly. I can't help myself, but his face is just hilarious; I start to laugh uncontrollably. Within seconds the four of us laugh. I think the ice is finally broken. I feel the tension that was holding me hostage vanish as I start to relax.</p><p> </p><p>An hour later, I push back my plate a little; I'm stuffed. It has been a long time that I have eaten this much. It's the first time since my chemo that I actually enjoy eating.  My stomach is still sensitive to what I eat and how much I eat. Luckily my stomach doesn't protest tonight. The food has been delicious. Iman made Musakhan, a typical Palestine dish.</p><p> </p><p>The entire time during diner, we had talked about random stuff. About Palestine, about Nadia being in New York, about Omar when he was little. We even talked about my illness. It is definitely not my favorite subject, but Omar's parents were genuinely interested in how I was doing. During that topic, Omar had taken hold of my hand and had stroked it gently with his thumb. The small gesture caused a shiver down my bones. Omar always seems to know exactly how I feel and what I need.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Did you have enough to eat?</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Yes, thank you. It really was delicious.</em> -I thank Iman politely.</p><p> </p><p><em>-So, Monday, school starts again?</em> -Yusef asks as he gets up and walks over to retrieve a paper box stored on top of the dresser. I instinctively know what is inside of it. The only one not knowing is Omar.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Yes, Monday it is game on again. I can't wait to see Samuel, Guzman, Rebecca, and I can't wait to meet my new classmates. When does your school start again, Omar?</em> -I ask nonchalantly</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Next week, I think. I can't be bothered about it. I rather prefer to help out my parents in the shop. I really hate that school.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Yusef clears his throat -<em>Well, about that, your mother and I have something for you.</em></p><p> </p><p>I can see Omar looking very curiously at the box his father hands him. And when he looks at me questioningly, I act innocent by shrugging my shoulders, pouting my lips, and shake my head.</p><p> </p><p>Eagerly Omar opens the box, and I can see his breath stocking in his throat as he discovers what's in it. I see how he lets his hand slide over the fabric of his new school uniform. His las Encinas uniform.</p><p> </p><p>He is totally and utterly in shock.</p><p> </p><p><em>-What is this?</em> -Omar's voice trembles</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-That is your new school uniform, son.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Am I... Am I going to las Encinas? How is this even possible? Is this a joke? </em>-The look in Omar's eyes is priceless.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-No, son, it is not a joke. You are going to Las Encinas. We were able to make some arrangements with the principal, with your boyfriends' mother, and she managed to pull some strings. So as of Monday, you are going back to school.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>I smile as I watch how Omar flees up from his chair and hugs his parents as he keeps repeating the words thank you over and over again.</p><p> </p><p>Then Omar turns towards me, narrows his eyes, and asks:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-You knew this, didn't you?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-Yes, my mother told me. I didn't say anything to you because your parents wanted to surprise you. There is another surprise, though... we are going to be in the same class.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-No way...</em> -I hear him say.</p><p> </p><p>I can see the smile on Omar's face widen as he approaches me. I stand up, and I'm about to hug him when my legs start to tremble. I feel that my legs can't hold me, so I let myself fall back on the chair again.</p><p> </p><p>Immediately the look on Omar's face changes as he kneels in front of me and places his hands on my knees, rubbing them softly. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Are you okay, Ander? Talk to me.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly I feel exhausted. The bike ride, the stress about making a good impression, and the conversation have taken their toll on me. Once again, I hate my body; it just abandoned me at a very important moment. This was supposed to be Omar's moment, and I just ruined it.</p><p> </p><p>Omar's hand moves to my chin as he forces me to look at him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Are you okay?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I don't want to worry him, but I know he sees right through me if I lie.</p><p> </p><p>-<em>I feel a bit tired. Give me a few minutes, and I will be fine again. I'm sorry if I ruined your surprise.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-You haven't ruined anything, you hear me? I can't believe I'm going to be in the same school as you. I can be with you every single day.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I want to kiss Omar, but I'm aware his parents are watching us. So, I just lay my forehead against his, and I rub my nose against his. I can't wait to go to school with him. I can finally show off with my boyfriend. I want the world to know he is mine.</p><p> </p><p>From the corner of my eyes, I see how Omar's parents are cleaning up the table. I want to get up and help them, but Omar doesn't let me. He pulls me up from the chair and guides me to the couch.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-Why don't you lie down for a minute while I help my parents.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I want to protest, but I see the determination in Omar's eyes. He isn't going to let me help, and besides that, I know he is right. Maybe if I lie down for a minute, I feel better afterward, and we can still celebrate Omar going to Las Encinas. I lie down on the couch just as Omar told me to do; I rest my head on one of the soft cushions that is on the couch. Omar looks over his shoulder before he bends over and gives me a kiss on my forehead.</p><p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://imgbb.com/">  </a>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-I'll be right back. </em>-He utters before he disappears through a door that probably leads to the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>I feel how my eyelids start to get heavier and heavier. I'm just going to close my eyes for a second, just a second. But within the next seconds, my tiredness overpowers me completely as I feel myself drift off. I'm unable to stay awake.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>(Omar)</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>I'm helping my mother doing the dishes while my father stores the items away that I dry. Like we always do the dishes. We don't have the luxury of a dishwasher. But I don't mind doing the dishes; it always gives me time to reflect on things.</p><p> </p><p>My parents have really surprised me tonight. Especially my father, his attitude towards me has completely changed. He doesn't look at me like I am the black sheep of the family anymore. During the last few weeks, I see the love in his eyes, the love I have longed for for so long.</p><p> </p><p>I must admit that I was holding my breath when Ander asked for a beer and even more when he cursed after he realized what he had asked for. I don't blame him because I knew how terrible nervous, he was, but I still was afraid of how my father would react. I never, never expected him to hand us a beer. It really shocked me. Although I already assumed that my father knew all along that I drink alcohol occasionally. But him giving me a drink that contains alcohol totally surprised me.</p><p> </p><p>But it hadn't been the biggest surprise of the evening. My god, I still can't believe I'm going to Las Encinas. It feels so unreal. I smile at the thought that I'm going to school with Ander. The moment I think of Ander, my smile drops from my face. He just scared the shit out of me. When I approached him to hug him, I could see the color literally disappear from his face as he turned pale. For a second, I thought he was going to faint. Thank god he didn't. He was just tired, but that didn't stop me from worrying about him.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, I feel the urge to check on him. I quickly dry the last plate I'm holding and place it on the counter. I give my mother a kiss on her cheek as she thanks me for helping her. When I enter the living room, I see Ander is asleep.</p><p> </p><p>I walk over and kneel in front of him. He still looks pale; it makes him even look more vulnerable and fragile than he already is. I notice that he is shivering, and he had goosebumps all over his arms. His body has not enough energy left to keep him warm.</p><p> </p><p>I reach underneath the couch, where I know my mother stores her blankets. I grab one, unfold it and cover Ander up. He moves a little when I try to tuck him in a little.</p><p> </p><p>I didn't realize I was crying until I feel a tear dripping on my hand. <em>"How in the world is it possible that a strong healthy guy like Ander ends up becoming so sick?"</em></p><p> </p><p>Just over a year ago, Ander was a tennis champ, bursting of energy, and now he barely had the strength to ride his bike from his house to mine. It just isn't fair. I comfort myself with the thought that he has beaten cancer, that he will recover completely. But still, the impact of the disease is huge. It's going to take a long time for him to get back to his old form again, but I'm going to stand by his side for as long as it takes.</p><p> </p><p>Softly I let my hand slide over his short hair, and for a moment, I caress his cheek with my thumb. Abruptly, I stop the movement when I feel a hand on my shoulder. Quickly I pull my hand back and brush the tears off my face, hoping they go unnoticed before I look over my shoulder and see my father standing behind me.</p><p> </p><p>I stand up, trying to compose myself. My father squeezes my shoulder as he looks at me compassionately.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I'm so sorry, Omar. I really feel for him. He is a good boy; he didn't deserve this.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I swallow hard, trying to hold back the tears that are burning in my eyes. I feel arms wrapping around me and pulling me close. The next moment I clamp onto my father, holding onto him tight.</p><p> </p><p>I don't know how long we stayed in that position, but my father eventually pulled back out of the embrace and looked at Ander.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I think it's not a good idea for him to go home tonight. He can stay in your room.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I can't believe what my father just said. My parents are very religious, my father even more than my mother. I know they disapprove of intimacy before marriage. I know he will never allow us to sleep together under his roof. But the fact that he's suggesting Ander can stay the night makes me happy.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Thank you, baba. I will stay in Nadia's old room. I will prepare it immediately. </em>-I'm about to walk away when my father stops me by grabbing my arm.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I know you are very worried about him. I think you want to keep an eye on him. So, I will place Nadia's mattress on the floor of your room, so you can sleep there. But the doors stay open, you hear me? You have to obey me on this one.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Once again, my father surprises me. I can't believe he lets me sleep in the same room as Ander. I blink my eyes and look at my father. It's like I want to make sure it really my father who is saying these things.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Thank you, baba, thank you so much.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I love you, son; I really love you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>For the first time in years, I hear my father express those words. Words I have been wanting to hear for so long. It feels so good to hear them.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I love you too, Baba.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>I see my father getting just as emotional as I feel. I can see the tears in his eyes. Something my father never shows. We don't need words at this moment because the moment itself tells everything.</p><p> </p><p>My father swallows and clears his throat. <em>-I will prepare the room; you call Ander's mother to let her know Ander is spending the night here.</em></p><p> </p><p>My father disappears through the door. I smile as I look over at Ander, who is still sleeping. The moment between my father and me has totally gone unnoticed by him.</p><p> </p><p>I take my phone out of my pocket and walk over to the opposite corner of the room as I don't want to wake Ander. I dial Azucena's number, and it doesn't take long for her to answer my call.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Hi Omar, is everything alright?</em>  -Her voice sounds concerned</p><p> </p><p><em>-Yes, everything is alright. Except Ander is very tired, and he has fallen asleep on the couch. So, I'm calling because I want to let you know that Ander will spend the night here</em>.</p><p> </p><p>There is a silence on the other side of the phone, and I know she's as surprised as I was that Ander is allowed to spend the night.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-So, everything went alright? Ander was so nervous when he left the house.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Yes, everything went more than alright. It was perfect and before I forget, thank you so much for having me at Las Encinas.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-You are welcome honey, you deserve it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>When I hear her calling me honey, a warm feeling runs through my veins. It's something that I can't explain. She always makes me feel special.</p><p> </p><p>-<em>Thank you</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-Omar?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-Yes?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-I'm truly happy for you guys.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-So am I, so am I...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>We say our goodbyes, and I hang up the phone.</p><p> </p><p>I walk back to Ander, and I squat next to him. Carefully, I wake him by nudging his shoulder. He blinks his eyes a couple of times before he looks around. When he realizes where he is, he quickly pushes himself in an upright position.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I'm sorry, I must have dozed off. </em>-He utters embarrassedly. -<em>What time is it?</em></p><p> </p><p><em>-It's just after ten.</em>  -I answer. Ander rubs his face, and I see how he suppresses a yawn.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I think I need to get home. I'm sorry, but I'm so tired. All I want to do is sleep. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Well, let's get you to bed then.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ander looks at me, confused. I quickly explain to him what had happened while he was asleep. I end with the fact that my father let us sleep together in the same room. Ander shakes his head in disbelieve, but his smile says everything. I know this was the last thing he expected, but it was the last thing I expected as well.</p><p> </p><p>Half an hour later, I lie on the mattress on the floor. Ander is wearing one of my old shirts and pajama pants. I only wear a t-shirt and some boxers. Although Ander is tired, I know he is awake; I can feel his eyes on me. Our eyes meet through the darkness of the room. I have to fight every urge to go to him and kiss him. I just want to hold him, even if it is just five minutes. I'm positive Ander wants the same thing.</p><p> </p><p>I glance at the open door for a second. My parents are watching tv; I can hear the sound of it. I don't think even twice as I get up and walk over to my own bed.</p><p> </p><p><em>-What are you doing?</em> -Ander asks with a muffled voice.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-What does it look like I'm doing? Move over...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>-<em>What about your parents? I don't want us to get into trouble over this. </em>-Although Ander protests, he moves over to make some space for me.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-We won't. I just want to kiss and hold you for five minutes.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I crawl into bed next to him, and I roll onto my side to face him.  I close the gap between us and kiss him. I have been waiting to do that the entire night. Ander pushes his tongue against my lips to gain access which I provide him willingly.</p><p> </p><p>The kiss deepens immediately as our tongues collide. Licking and stroking each other. I can feel how my heart starts to race and how my breath intensifies. When I hear Ander moan softly, I know we need to stop before we both lose control. My father has been very tolerant, but he will kill me if he finds out what we are doing.</p><p> </p><p>It is like Ander has read my mind as he pulls back and mumbles hoarsely:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-We need to stop this right now.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I nod in agreement as I roll onto my back and spread my arms while I whisper:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I just want to hold you for a few minutes.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ander nestles in my arms and let his head rest on my chest. I smile as I notice that within minutes his breathing starts to slow down, indicating he is falling asleep. I want to enjoy this moment, so I close my eyes. Just one more minute, I promise myself—just one more.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>(Yusef)</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>When I push open the door that leads from the kitchen to the living room, I see my son kneeling on the floor in front of the couch. I watch how he gently places a blanket over his boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>His boyfriend. Yes, my son has a boyfriend. It has taken me a long time to accept it.</p><p> </p><p>In our culture, having a relationship with someone of the same sex is a disgrace. It is a sin. For a long time, I prayed to Allah that my son would see the light. That he would see the path he was on was the wrong path. But I was mistaken; I was the one on the wrong path.</p><p> </p><p>I feel like I have failed as a person, but especially as a father.</p><p> </p><p>As a father, I should have supported my children in the choices they make. Children are the greatest gifts there are on this planet. We have the privilege to raise them, but when they turn into adults, they have to make their own decisions.</p><p> </p><p>If I had realized this sooner, May would still have been in our lives. I could have prevented her from leaving, but that would mean I would have to betray Allah. At the moment May left, I was convinced that it was a test Allah had given us. That losing a child was our destiny. Her leaving us left a hole in my heart. A hole that never heals, the pain is still there.</p><p> </p><p>The moment I found out my son was gay, my world caved. I was mad and angry; at first, I was mad at Omar. Omar, my son, my only son. I resented him for the choice he made. I blamed him for hurting us, for disgracing us. I felt ashamed towards the community that he was my son. I was hard on Omar in an attempt to make him see he was wrong. But he wouldn't listen, and finally, I kicked him out of the house.</p><p> </p><p>The minute I did it, I regretted it. I just wanted him to realize that he was making a mistake. I was convinced he would come back, but he didn't. I had lost my only son. I was devastated, and I missed him. I started to get mad at Allah. <em>"What had we done to deserve this?" "Why did Allah give us a son that was gay?" "Why did we have to lose another child?"</em> I started to doubt my faith.</p><p> </p><p>It was Nadia that made me see I was looking at things the wrong way. She was the one telling me that they deserved to live their own lives, to make their own decisions. She promised me that we would never lose her if we let her make her own decisions but that we would lose her if we didn't.</p><p> </p><p>It really opened my eyes. I started to realize that I had treated Omar badly. I know that Omar didn't choose to be gay. It is the way he is born; it is who he was. Who he is. I don't care anymore if he is gay; the most important thing is that he is my son.</p><p> </p><p>Now I look at Omar, and I see the young man he has become, strong and independent. Always loving and caring about other people. I couldn't be any prouder of him. I still don't know why, because in my eyes, I don't deserve it, but I got another chance with Omar.</p><p> </p><p>And I am so grateful that the opportunity is given to me, and I promise that I will do whatever lies in my power to make sure he is happy. And I can see that the boy that is now lying on my couch is the one that makes him happy. To me, that is all that matters. My children being happy.</p><p> </p><p>I see how Omar touches Ander carefully, and as I approach him, I notice he is crying. It breaks my heart to see my son this way. I know he is very worried about Ander. My son loves Ander; I can see it in everything he does, every look, and every touch. I still have faith in Allah, but the most faith I have now is in love because love is the most powerful thing there is.</p><p> </p><p>Omar is startled when I place a hand on his shoulder. I notice how he quickly wipes away his tears, desperately trying to hide them. When I express to Omar how sorry I am about Ander's situation, Omar hugs me like he hasn't done in ages. I feel love running through my veins. I love my son; I love him to death.</p><p> </p><p>I look over at Ander, and I feel concerns about him rise from inside me. He looks so fragile that my heart breaks for him. There is no way I'm going to let him go home tonight. That's when I suggest to Omar that Ander can stay the night but under some conditions, of course, which Omar agrees to. Omar is going to sleep on a mattress on the floor, and the door stays open at all times.</p><p> </p><p>But later that night, when I walk past the open door, I see that the mattress is empty. For a moment, I feel anger bubbling up inside me, but that is until I see them. Omar is lying on his back, and Ander lies in his arms. Although they are both sound asleep, they both have a smile on their face. They look so peaceful and innocent. The sight of them together warms my heart. This isn't wrong because this is love in its purest form.</p><p> </p><p>I feel a hand on my arm, and when I look beside me, I see my wife; she looks at the boys, and she smiles. Iman squeezes my arm, indicating she wants me to come with her. I take one final look at the boys before I softly close the door behind me.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. First impression</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! Here's chapter 6!</p>
<p>We hope you guys enjoy it!</p>
<p>xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I look over at Ander, and I feel concerns about him rise from inside me. He looks so fragile that my heart breaks for him. There is no way I'm going to let him go home tonight. That's when I suggest to Omar that Ander can stay the night but under some conditions, of course, which Omar agrees to. Omar is going to sleep on a mattress on the floor, and the door stays open at all times.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But later that night, when I walk past the open door, I see that the mattress is empty. For a moment, I feel anger bubbling up inside me, but that is until I see them. Omar is lying on his back, and Ander lies in his arms. Although they are both sound asleep, they both have a smile on their face. They look so peaceful and innocent. The sight of them together warms my heart. This isn't wrong because this is love in its purest form.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I feel a hand on my arm, and when I look beside me, I see my wife; she looks at the boys, and she smiles. Iman squeezes my arm, indicating she wants me to come with her. I take one final look at the boys before I softly close the door behind me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Chapter 6. First impression</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>(Omar)</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>I toss and turn in bed once more and bury my face in the pillow, trying to fall asleep, but it's of no use; it's impossible to do so. The sheets are crumpled and, in a mess, and the blanket is scattered at my feet; it seems impossible for me to lie still. In the darkness of my room, I fumble for my cell phone on the bedside table, and when I find it, the brightness of the screen dazzles me. I close my eyes, hoping to adjust to the light, and once I manage reasonably well, I open only one eye to check the time. It's just after two o'clock in the morning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>"De puta madre..."</em> -I curse under my breath. However, I don't know why I do it since there's no one around me who can hear me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Boy, what a way to start the first day of school. I just hope the teachers don't catch me falling asleep in the classroom because the last thing I want is to make a bad impression on them. I have enough pressure to keep up with Nadia... Top of the class. I let out a snort and get out of bed. All I can think about is that in a few hours, I'll be walking through the doors of Las Encinas as one of their students.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I direct the light of my cell phone towards my closet, and there, hanging in a corner, I can see my perfectly ironed uniform. I'm sure that if Nadia were here, she would have made fun of me when she saw how nervous I am, but jodeeer, I can't help it. I feel like thousands of butterflies are fluttering around inside my stomach, making me go back to those times when I was a kid. I was worried that my high school classmates wouldn't like me because I was a Moor and didn't play soccer... among other things.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The advantage is that this time I will not be alone. Not only will Ander be with me, I found out that Rebe, Samu, and Guzmán will also be with us in the same classroom. I still can't believe my luck. Not even in my wildest dreams could I have imagined something like this. This last thought reassures me and makes me smirk.  I turn on the light and look at myself in the mirror.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Calm down.</em> -I say to my reflection. -<em>You'll just meet your new classmates. What could possibly go wrong?</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I decide to leave my room to get a glass of water from the kitchen, and as I wander in the dark down the corridor, I think about the brief conversation I had with Ander a few hours ago. Although we didn't actually argue at all, Ander sulked when I told him I couldn't spend the night at his place.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sometimes he behaves like a real brat, and I actually find it quite funny; I must admit that I secretly enjoy making him grumpy. Although looking at me now, it would have been better for me to have tried to convince Baba to let me spend the night at his place. I'm sure that, cuddled up with him, I would have been able to fall asleep, and I wouldn't be racking my brains over nonsense. When I get to the kitchen, I'm surprised to see my mother sitting on one of the dining room chairs with a glass in her hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Omar... Can't you sleep either?</em> -She asks me with a loving smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I shrug my shoulders. <em>-Maybe I'm a little nervous... And you? What are you doing up at this hour, Mom?</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>My mother hands me a glass of warm milk as she pats the chair next to her to keep her company. When we were little, she used to give us warm milk and sing us a song when we couldn't sleep. I take a sip from my glass and look at her curiously.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-I was thinking about your sister.</em> -She admits. Her face shows a hint of sadness, but she quickly pulls herself together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Nadia is fine, Mom... You don't have to worry about her.  Besides, she is not alone; Lu is with her, and she will come to visit us very soon.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-I know, Omar... but it wasn't Nadia I was thinking about.</em> -She mumbles, lowering her gaze.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her confession surprises me, and I don't know what to say. I freeze at the moment. I miss May too, but I'm sure it doesn't compare to what my mother feels. I rest my hand on hers and squeeze it tenderly; words are out of place.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-A mother always worries about her children... But let's not get sad; instead, tell me why you are nervous.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We chat about my expectations of the new school, and we even talk about Ander. I can only smile when I hear how she expresses herself about him and the concern she shows for his health. A while later, I kiss her on the forehead, and we both get up to go back to sleep. Finally, the glass of warm milk, along with the conversation with my mother, takes effect, and soon I lose myself in a peaceful sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I have been to Las Encinas several times before, but it has never seemed as imposing as this morning. Although I slept a few hours, I don't feel tired; on the contrary, I feel the adrenaline rush coursing through my body. As I walk up the concrete stairs making my way through so many unfamiliar faces, my cell phone starts to vibrate. I pull it out of my pants pocket and read a message from Ander telling me that he met Rebe, and they both are already inside. I quicken my pace, clutching tightly the backpack hanging from my shoulder, and enter the spacious lobby.  I look up and smile as I see not only Ander and Rebe but also Guzman and Samu greeting each other a few feet away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Is anyone going to tell me how handsome I look, or what?</em> -I whistle to get their attention as I point to my uniform.  Ander looks at me from head to toe and smiles widely without looking away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-You look divine, maricón! </em>-Rebe greets me with her usual self-assurance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-One posh kid, two, three... Everyone is rich around here. Las Encinas is fucking awesome! </em>-I tease, and immediately, any rest of worry I could feel disappears when I see Ander and the rest of my friends in front of me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bell rings, announcing the start of classes; we look at each other expectantly. Samu is the first to speak as he walks towards the classroom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Come on, let's go in.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Yeah! Let's see what surprises await us in class.</em> -Rebe laughs as she puts her arm around my shoulders as we all walk into the classroom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <a href="https://imgbb.com/">  </a>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ander walks over to one of the desks in the back that are still empty and drops his backpack on it. He immediately turns to look at me, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Aren't you gonna say hello or what?</em> -He mumbles so that only I can hear him. -<em>As far as I remember, we didn't sleep together... </em></p>
<p>           </p>
<p>He frowns at me, but as soon as I approach him, his features soften.  I have an immense urge to kiss him, but I restrain myself because I see out of the corner of my eye that the teacher has arrived, and the rest of the class has begun to take their places. Instead, I run a hand down his neck and am about to whisper in his ear that I will greet him properly later when someone comes running up and bumps into Ander, causing him to almost lose his balance. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I grab Ander by his arm to keep him from falling and confront the guy responsible for what happened, who looks at us amused.  He's the typical posh guy in the class.  At least that's the first impression I get when I look at him with a serious look.  He's taller than me, slim but with a toned body, with big green eyes... but above all, he has an air of superiority that annoys me tremendously.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Can’t you be more careful, huh? You almost hurt somebody </em>-I scold him in front of everyone. My voice is louder than I intended it to be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looks at me for a moment and almost immediately raises both arms ironically, drawing a stupid smile on his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Don't get mad, tío... it wasn't such a big deal. Besides, can't your friend defend himself?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm about to answer him when I hear the teacher's voice addressing us.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Hey, what's going on in the back there?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ander pulls me by the arm and forces me to look at him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Omar, it's no big deal, it was an accident, vale? Come on, let's sit down. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I clench my jaw, but I don't say anything else. I know that maybe Ander is right, and even I am surprised by my own reaction, but for a strange reason that I can't explain, I felt an immediate aversion for this guy, and even more when I look at him sideways, smiling mockingly at me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Let's see, chaval...  since you are so eager to talk, why don't you introduce yourself to the class? </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I look at the teacher, and I see a disapproving look on his face. <em>"Jodeeer, I got off on the wrong foot."</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>(Ander)</em> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I close my eyes for a moment, and when I open them again, several pairs of eyes are watching Omar and me with amusement. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>"Fuck, I hate being the center of attention...!"</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Omar's reaction was over the top, and while I understand that protective attitude, I'm pretty pissed that he treats me like I'm still sick, like I'm a fragile guy that, with any push, could break me. Not only that, but he made it obvious to the rest of the class how vulnerable I am.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once we introduce ourselves as instructed by the teacher, the Geography class begins. I spend it with my head stuck in the book taking notes of everything the teacher says -although the truth is not necessary since I know it by heart-, and from time to time, I feel the insistent gaze of Omar, who is sitting next to me.  Fifty minutes later, the bell rings, indicating the class's end, and while I put my notebook in my backpack, I hear Guzmán making fun of what happened.  I ignore him and look at Omar.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-You know you went out of line, don't you? -I mutter as I throw my backpack over my shoulder.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Omar looks at me and mutters something under his breath.  He knows I'm right, so he just rolls his eyes at me and purses his lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Vale... I guess it wasn't a big deal, but that guy's attitude made me lose my mind.  Don't tell me you didn't notice how that asshole was looking at us, Ander.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As I don't respond and keep walking along the corridor, Omar grabs my arm, forcing me to enter the locker room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Are you upset? </em>-He frowns, and I see him clench his jaw as he waits for my answer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I let out a snort and hold his gaze for a few seconds.  It's only long enough for me to lose myself in Omar's gaze and for the last bit of moodiness to disappear in the blink of an eye.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-No... I'm not.  But could you please stop doing that?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Doing what?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-You know what, Omar, don't make me tell you...  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Well… I want to hear it.</em> -Omar stares at me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I appreciate you caring about me, but what you did just makes me feel vulnerable in front of other people. I hate feeling that way.  And I don't want those who don't know me to get the wrong perception of me. I can take care of myself. I just want you to be my boyfriend.  Do you understand what I'm mean?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I know from the way Omar looks at me that he understands, and I can see a hint of regret in his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-You are right.  I acted on impulse and didn't think about how you would feel.  It won't happen again. I promise.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Thank you.</em> -I whisper as I lower my gaze to meet his lips, and all I can think of at this moment is to feel his mouth on mine.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As if Omar had read my mind, I feel him place his gaze on my mouth, and almost immediately, he shortens the space between us to the point where our lips can brush, but without kissing yet.  I can feel Omar's warm breath, and the sensation is intoxicating; I can't seem to get enough of him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Now that we've made that clear... Can I greet you properly?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His words make me smile, and not caring that we are in the dressing room and that at any moment anyone could walk through the door, I run my tongue across his upper lip, making him let out a slight gasp of surprise.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Within seconds, Omar grabs my neck and deepens the kiss. When I feel the warmth of his tongue playing with mine, I close my eyes and let myself go.  Omar pushes me lightly against the lockers and thrusts his hips against mine so I can feel how hard he is.  His nimble fingers reach for the zipper of my jeans, and a few seconds later, I can feel his firm grip caressing my dick. As he starts to move his hand up and down slowly, I moan softly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>We are both so engrossed in enjoying the moment that by the time we hear a noise coming from the door, it's too late.  Even as I try to button my jeans and Omar has taken a couple of steps back, we both know we've been caught.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The PE teacher looks at us grimly, and I'm unable to hold his gaze when I hear him say.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Both of you follow me now.  We're going to the principal's office. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Jodeeer!</em>  -I feel the blush cover my cheeks as I imagine my mother's face when she finds out what Omar and I were doing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Mierda...</em> -I hear Omar hiss, and when I look at him out of the corner of my eye, I can see something very close to terror in his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-<em>Please don't... It really won't happen again...</em> -Omar mumbles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Ya...</em> -The professor mutters, clearly amused.  <em>-I'm sure it won't, and even more when the principal gives you both an exemplary punishment.  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-But...</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p><em>-There are no buts...</em> -The teacher interrupts Omar. <em> -Let's go...</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm sure this asshole knows that my mother is the principal and that asshole is enjoying it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>"What the fuck are we going to tell my mother?"</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When we walk into her office, Omar has his head down, and by the color on his face, I know he's just as embarrassed as I am.  My mother rests her gaze on Omar and then looks at me, not believing what the teacher is telling her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-What are you saying?</em> -My mother mutters.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-That's how it was Azucena.</em>  -The teacher mutters.  -<em>I caught these two about to have sex in the locker room...</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-That's not true... we were just kissing. -</em>I try to defend myself, but seeing how my mother looks at me, I immediately keep quiet. I glance sideways at Omar, looking for his support, but he's so embarrassed that he remains with his eyes glued to the floor without saying a single word...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>"Jodeeer, what a fucking mess!"  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's not that my mother doesn't know that Omar and I have sex, but it's one thing for her to imagine it, and quite another one for one of her teachers to bring us to her office like two horny little boys to accuse us of groping each other in the locker room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Thank you, Mr. Fernández.  You may go back to your class.</em>  -She murmurs, looking at him with authority.  <em>-And you two, take a seat.  We'll talk in a moment.  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Omar and I obey her without complaint, as we both look at each other sideways. I can read Omar's lips when my mother turns her back on us for a few seconds as she closes her office door.  <em>"Mierda!"</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she turns around, I think I see a hint of humor in her gaze, but it quickly disappears to give way to absolute seriousness.  She is clearly not my mother at the moment but is in her investiture as principal of the school.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-So, I'm waiting... What do you both have to say about it?</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Mom... </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Azucena...</em> -Omar mumbles almost at the same time, and then we both fall silent again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Well?  I can't hear you both. Is it true that...?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Mom!</em> -I interrupt her. Already the situation is more than embarrassing, so to hear her say that we were about to fuck is something I don't think I'll be able to bear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Azucena, I'm sorry.  It's not going to happen again.... </em>-Omar's voice is almost a whisper.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>That's right, Omar... this can't happen again. And to make sure of it, I will forbid you to sit next to each other in class.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-¡Joder mamá...!  You can't do this to us!</em> -I whine helplessly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The way my mother looks at me immediately makes me keep silent.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Of course, I can... young man.  Have you forgotten that I am the principal? You are strictly forbidden to sit together, and needless to say, I don't ever want to receive a complaint from any teacher about your behavior again... Is that clear?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Aha...</em> -I mumble reluctantly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Omar? </em>-My mother asks, looking at Omar sternly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Yes, Azucena. That's clear.</em>  -Omar finally answers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-You both may go then...</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I look at my mother one last time and then head for the door with Omar beside me. As we both leave my mother's office, I close the door behind me, and before it closes completely, I can see my mother biting her lips to suppress her laugher.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p><em>-Does that mean you'll have to sit with me from now on?</em> -Guzmán is doubled up with laughter when I tell him about our visit to my mother's office. -<em>Azucena is the fucking boss!</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I raise an eyebrow when I hear Guzman's expression when referring to my mother, and I shake my head. The idiot is laughing at our expense.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-I don't see what's so fucking funny, Guzmán.</em> -Omar exclaims, taking a sip of his Coke. <em>-Imagine if you'd been caught snogging Nadia, and it wasn't only the principal but also your mother-in-law to whom you had to explain what you were doing?</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I can't help but smile when I hear Omar refer to my mother as his mother-in-law. But the look on his face is so funny that I can't help myself as I start to laugh out loud. And just as I laugh, Guzmán joins me in a loud guffaw, making Omar squint at us, and seconds later, he shows us his middle finger. But a second later, he also starts to laugh as he realizes how funny the whole situation is.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It is lunchtime, and we are, sitting at a table that is not our usual table, as another group now occupies the one, we regularly used.  They seem to be very popular, just like our group was last year. Joder, how things change from one moment to the next, or rather from one school year to the next. Now it is just the five of us, including Omar and excluding Cayetana, who appears to be working as a janitor at the school this year.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I look over Omar's shoulder at that table and discreetly watch its occupants. There are a couple of rather cute girls and three guys chatting with them.  Two of them I recognize almost immediately.  The first one goes to our class; he's a skinny guy and looks like he's wealthy like almost everyone in this school; and the second one is the guy Omar had a fight with this morning in Geography class, Patrick, I think that's his name. I scan him, and I must admit that the guy is good-looking, but I also see what Omar meant this morning. He does seem a little bit arrogant, almost cocky.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I shrug my shoulders, downplaying the matter, and when I return my attention to our table, I see that both Guzman and Omar are staring at me as if waiting for a response from me.  Apparently, I've been staring at them longer than I had imagined since I have no fucking idea what they said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-What?</em> -I mumble, a bit puzzled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I was telling you that this Friday night we should go out and have some fun. One of the girls in our class invited me to a party she's having at her house.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Yeah, sure... -</em>I nod while I look at Omar.<em>  -Do you feel like partying? Maybe you could spend that night at my place, so you don’t have to worry about having to get home early.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-It sounds like fun... -</em>Omar smiles at me, and all I want to do is kiss him. We are not in class now, so I can do whatever I want. I hang me around his shoulder, pull him close and kiss him on the corner of his lips. I smile, and when I pull back slightly, I see that the guys at the table in front of us are looking at us and start whispering. Clearly, they are gossiping about Omar and me. That guy, Patrick, is looking at me a little strangely, but before I can reason why I hear Rebe's voice, and almost immediately, she and Samu sit down with us.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Hey, where did you guys come from?</em> -Guzman looks at them questioningly.  <em>-Don't you think we didn't notice that you both skipped P.E. class? Is there anything you want to tell us?</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Let's see, chaval, why don't you mind your own business and leave Samu and me alone?</em> -Rebe winks at him and Samuel just chuckles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's clear that these two have some kind of thing going on, but neither of them is willing to say anything.  At least for now. Ten minutes later, the bell rings to signal the start of the next class. We all get up and start walking down the hall.  Just before entering the classroom, I squeeze Omar's ass, and I whisper in his ear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Do you have any idea how hard it will be for me to wait for school to end today? Not only because I won't be able to sit next to you, but because I can't wait to get home to finish what we started in the locker room this morning.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Omar looks at me with that smile I adore, and I'm absolutely certain that he is as anxious as I am.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. A Magical Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi, there!</p><p>A new chapter is here; we hope you all enjoy it! </p><p>Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts with us; it means a lot!</p><p>xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Ten minutes later, the bell rings to signal the start of the next class. We all get up and start walking down the hall.  Just before entering the classroom, I squeeze Omar's ass, and I whisper in his ear.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Do you have any idea how hard it will be for me to wait for school to end today? Not only because I won't be able to sit next to you, but because I can't wait to get home to finish what we started in the locker room this morning.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Omar looks at me with that smile I adore, and I'm absolutely certain that he is as anxious as I am.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Chapter 7. A Magical Night</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>(Ander)</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>I survived the first week of school. Actually, it was gone in the blink of an eye, and a lot of it has to do with Omar being here, with me. It's finally Friday, and the best part is that tonight we're going out to a party. I want to have as much fun as I haven't had in a long time... I want to forget about everything that still affects me and enjoy myself with Omar and my friends.  The bell rings, and Guzmán and I leave the classroom to head to the cafeteria.  Omar, Rebe, and Samu had Geometry class, but we are meeting up in the cafeteria for lunch.</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>-Joder, macho! I want to get drunk so badly....</em> -Guzmán hisses as we walk through the corridor.</p><p> </p><p>It's really funny how he rolls his eyes as he snorts, so I can't help myself and laugh at his expression.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Come on, it won't be long now... Just a couple of more classes, and then we can finally enjoy the weekend...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>When we enter the cafeteria, the place is crowded, and the worst thing is that all the tables are occupied.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Jodeeer, what now?</em> -I mutter as I scan the people to see if Omar and the others are already there, but after a few seconds, I give up and let out a sigh.</p><p> </p><p>We are about to leave when I hear a voice calling for us. Guzmán and I turn around at the same time and notice that it's Phillipe calling us, raising his hand for us to see him. He is with the rest of his friends at the table we used to sit at.  I turn to look at Guzmán, and when our gazes meet, we both shrug and, without saying anything else, we move towards them. Mencía, Patrick, Phillipe, and Ari smile at us when we reach the table.</p><p> </p><p><em>-There's enough room for everyone here...</em> -Patrick smiles as he slides over the bench to make room for me.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Hey... Thanks.</em>  -I shake his hand as I sit down next to him.  Guzmán does the same on the opposite bench and takes place next to Ari.</p><p> </p><p>For the next ten minutes, we chat about how the first week of classes has been for us, about the teachers, and other trivial things. The truth is that these new guys are quite funny, and soon, both Guzmán and I are laughing out loud without realizing it. Patrick doesn't seem as cocky as he did on the first day; he looks quite relaxed and laughs at the silly things Phillipe is doing. After a few moments, I see him pull out his cell phone and open his Instagram account, so I turn to Mencía and Ari, who start talking about what they'll wear to the party tonight.  A minute later, I lose interest and look towards the door, hoping to see Omar, but I can't see him anywhere.</p><p> </p><p>I'm about to call him when Patrick turns towards me and moves a little closer to show me something on his phone. Our arms are now brushing against each other, and I feel how his leg slightly rubs against mine, so I move slightly away as I don't like it when people I don't know invade my personal space, but Patrick doesn't seem to have noticed. I leave my phone on the table and focus on what he tells me.</p><p> </p><p><em>-What do you think of this pic, tío? </em>-He mumbles as he slides one photo after another into his photo reel until he finds the one he's looking for.  <em>-Wait... here it is... this one. What do you think?  Be honest... I don't know whether to upload it or not, and I want an objective opinion because it's clear that I can't trust anyone of them</em>. -He murmurs, pointing to his friends while he hands me the cell phone waiting for my answer.</p><p> </p><p>I look at the pic and smile. He's taking a selfie; he's bare-chested, wearing blue jeans and a black fisherman's cap. I shrug and grin before responding:</p><p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://imgbb.com/">  </a>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I don't know, tío, I guess it seems alright... It's cool.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Are you sure? Doesn't it look too posed? </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Pfff... I think you're asking the wrong guy... I am not an expert in uploading photos and stuff like that. I can't even remember when I last uploaded a photo on Instagram myself. </em>-I mumble, handing him back his phone.</p><p> </p><p>I see him roll his eyes at my response, and he quickly stands up. He walks up to Guzmán and shows him the photo. As I watch them talking, I pick up my phone to send a message to Omar, but almost immediately, Patrick approaches me again.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Guzmán says it's cool... -</em> He looks at me, raising an eyebrow.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Well, you should listen to him then; I've already told you that I'm not very fond of social networks.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Jodeeer! Really?</em> <em>Let's see your Instagram profile. -</em>He asks, handing me back his phone so I can show him my profile.</p><p> </p><p>I do what he asks, and once I find it, I touch my profile picture, and immediately my most recent posts are displayed.  Since I was diagnosed with leukemia, I stopped uploading pics, so the last post is from several months ago. It's a photo of Omar and me leaning against a brick wall; we're both smiling, and Omar is resting his head against my shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://imgbb.com/">  </a>
</p><p> </p><p>I can tell he is surprised to see the pic, but he quickly pulls himself together. And almost immediately, he mutters:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-So that explains it... You and Omar are together... Now I understand the reason for his attitude on the first day.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Yeah, well...sometimes he is a kind of overprotective towards me...</em> -I mutter, trying to excuse him.</p><p> </p><p>Patrick shrugs, grimacing.  <em>-That doesn't matter anymore; we are friends now, aren't we?</em></p><p> </p><p>-<em>Sure...</em> -I nod at his suggestion.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Okay... that's it. I'm going to follow you...</em> -He says it while pressing the following icon.<em>  -You can follow me too if you like... No pressure, huh? </em>- He hums, winking at me, making me laugh.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>(Omar)</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>  </strong>
</p><p>We left class late because the teacher gave a pop quiz, causing, of course, general discomfort in the whole group, but especially in Rebe.  As we enter the cafeteria looking for Ander and Guzmán, Samu and I still hear Rebe complain bitterly that she is sure she will fail. The smile I had been cracking just a second ago dies on my lips when I see Ander laughing loudly with Patrick. Both are sitting close together, looking at something on Patrick's phone.</p><p> </p><p>I feel a pang in my stomach from something I don't know how to define, but before I can be able to analyze it, Rebe whispers in my ear:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Sultan, if I were you, I keep an eye on that hottie. Apparently, Ander turns him on. And look, to be honest... the truth is that guy is quite gorgeous.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>-What are you saying? You don't know what you're talking about, Rebe... </em>-I answer immediately, shaking my head, but deep down, Rebe's words make me feel a little bit uneasy.  I look sideways at Samuel, and judging from the look on his face, it seems that Rebe's comment about that guy doesn't amuse him either.</p><p> </p><p><em>-It looks like those two have made some new friends</em>... -Samu hisses, looking at Ander and Guzman as we walk towards them.</p><p> </p><p>Neither of them has seen me, and as I get closer, I notice that Patrick places his hand on Ander's shoulder while they both continue chatting animatedly. Ander doesn't even seem to notice it, or he isn't bothered by it. That twinge in my stomach that I felt moments before comes back with much more force, but suddenly, Ander raises his face, and our gazes meet. That uneasy feeling I'm experiencing vanishes completely as soon as I see Ander stop paying attention to this guy, as he quickly stands up and approaches me smiling.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Hey... What took you so long?</em> - Ander asks me without stopping smiling, and then he kisses me on the lips.</p><p> </p><p>I kiss him back and unconsciously extend it a little longer. When I step away from him, Ander looks at me with curiosity.</p><p> </p><p><em>-It seems that you've missed me as much as I've missed you. -</em>Ander hums against my lips<em>. -Come, let's sit down. -</em>As he says it, he pulls my hand, and we both sit next to each other, feeling totally relaxed and happy again<em>.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Everyone welcomes us very warmly, including Patrick, who greets me as if nothing has happened between us. For the rest of the lunch, we talk about tonight's party at Mencía's house. Patrick and Phillipe offer to pick us up, and when Rebe and Samu both announce that they will arrive later on their own, we, Guzmán, Ander, and I, take up upon Phillipe's offer to ride with him and Patrick.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Matina's parents are out of town, and she spared no expense to make this party amazing. Her house is a tremendous residence with a pool, a huge garden, and a gigantic foyer. There are waiters everywhere serving champagne, and the music can almost be heard for miles around.  The money can be seen in even the smallest of details, making me feel a little uncomfortable; it seems I still need to get used to hanging out with these posh guys. I look at Samu, and my best friend just shrugs, taking a sip of his drink; it seems Samu is already much more used to this lifestyle, and even more so for all the time he spends with Rebe lately. I wonder if something is going on between them.</p><p> </p><p><em>-You and I need to talk, gilipollas!</em> <em>And you know what I am talking about</em>. -I say in his ear shortly before he walks off in the same direction Rebe left just a minute before.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I promise.</em> -Samu mutters before getting lost in the crowd.</p><p> </p><p><em>-What's wrong?</em> -Ander whispers against my ear, making me forget about Samu and everything else.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Nothing... It's Samu; I don't know what he's up to.</em> -I smile, taking a sip of the beer Ander hands me.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I can imagine what's up…</em> -He teases me as he kisses me softly on the neck.</p><p> </p><p>Ander is happy; I can tell by the way he smiles and dances to the music.  He clinks his beer against mine and takes a big sip, then wraps both arms around my neck to pull me closer to him.  We continue to dance, and I'm only able to focus on Ander.  I love seeing him so happy, carefree, and enjoying himself as he used to do before the disease ruined everything.</p><p> </p><p>A while later, I hear a familiar voice, and when I turn around, I see it's Patrick approaching us.  He is holding a bottle of champagne and three empty glasses in his other hand. His shirt is unbuttoned halfway down, and from the way he walks, he is clearly drunk. </p><p> </p><p><em>-Hey, I was looking for you two!</em> -He says in a louder tone of voice than necessary.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Hey! Look like you're having fun... -</em>Ander replies with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I'm having the time of my life! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He hands a glass to Ander and me and starts pouring champagne.  Once he has done it, he pours the rest into the remaining glass and, turns to me, clinks his glass against mine.  I smile as I look at him curiously.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Omar... I'm aware that you and I got off on the wrong foot, and this is my way of offering you an apology... Friends?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I smirk as I listen to him and nod as I take a sip from my glass.  I've never liked champagne, but I appreciate the gesture. I guess this guy isn't as arrogant as I had first thought after all.  When we finish our glass, Patrick refills it and then mumbles something unintelligible and dances away.</p><p> </p><p><em>-He's so drunk that I'm sure he'll regret it tomorrow.</em> -Ander laughs as he drinks his drink in one gulp and then comes closer to me and kisses me. </p><p> </p><p>I can taste the alcohol as he deepens the kiss, and his tongue begins to make its way between my lips.  Ander always gets much more affectionate than usual when he drinks, and although it amuses me to see him like this, I can't help but worry about him.  I know I shouldn't because I know it's just for tonight, and besides, I can see how much fun he's having, but still, I let go of him and smile before I speak.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Nene, maybe you shouldn't keep drinking...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ander looks at me and rolls his eyes.  He runs his hands around my waist and pulls me closer to him.  Suddenly his lips begin to curve into a frank smile, and he moans against my lips:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Yes, Mom...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I can't help but laugh at his response, but then, I try to get serious.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Ander, I'm worried that you might have an interaction with the medications you're taking.   </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-You just sounded like my mom. I'm fine. Relax, Omar, I'm having a great time. And even more so because here I can kiss you as much as I want without anyone bothering us. Aren't you having a good time?</em> -He asks while kissing me on the corner of my lips.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Of course, I'm having a good time, you little drunkard...</em> -I answer him affectionately and kiss him back.</p><p> </p><p> Ander smiles when he hears me say that he's a little tipsy. Which he clearly is.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Come on, let's go home…</em> -He suddenly says to me.  -<em>I can't wait for us to be alone...</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>(Ander / Omar)</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>My hands are trembling when I try to unlock the door. Why does it seem like the key refuses to go in the keyhole? The hole just keeps moving. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that I feel a little bit intoxicated by the alcohol I have been drinking. I only had a few beers and some champagne, but it is clear enough to make me feel lightheaded. I look over my shoulder at Omar, who is impatiently waiting for me to open the door.</p><p> </p><p><em> -Can you please give it a try? That stupid hole keeps moving every time I want to stick the key in.</em> -I babble.</p><p> </p><p><em> -The hole keeps moving? Yeah right. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you are slightly drunk. </em>-I laugh as I see how Ander wiggles on his feet.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I am definitely not drunk. Not even a tiny bit. </em>-I say defensively.</p><p> </p><p><em> -If you say so…</em> -I take over Ander's key and bend over a little to get a better look at the lock. I manage to get the key in its hole on the first attempt, and I quickly open the door.</p><p> </p><p>I swallow hard when I see how Omar bends over a little. His ass is perfect. Instantly I feel myself getting hard. I know alcohol always makes me feel horny pretty easily. Seeing Omar wiggle his ass in front of me is definitely a turn-on. And although I feel exhausted after this first week of school and this great evening with friends, all I can think of now is how badly I want to have sex with Omar. I wrap my arms around him from behind as I push him into the house. I am pretty sure he can feel how aroused I am. I let go of Omar with one hand for a moment to close the door behind me.</p><p> </p><p>I can feel Ander pressing himself up against me from behind.  I can feel he is very turned on. Instantly my body reacts. I can feel blood is being pumped to the lower parts of my body, well to my crotch, to be more exact. The next moment I feel Ander's hand fiddling with the opening of my jeans, and when he manages to open it, I can feel how his hand slides inside my boxer and take holds of my dick. I moan loudly.</p><p> </p><p>Omar's moan turns me on even more. The way he responds underneath my touch makes my arousal aches. My jeans are so fucking tight that it hurts, so with one hand, I open my own jeans to give my erection the space it requires. Meanwhile, I keep stroking Omar, although the clothing prevents me from doing it properly. Still, it is effective because Omar keeps producing sounds of pleasure. I place a kiss on Omar's neck, and the moment he turns his head towards me, I kiss him. I slide my tongue in his mouth and lick and explore every corner of it. Omar returns the favor, and I tremble on my feet when his tongue savors my mouth completely.</p><p> </p><p>The way Ander's hand moves up and down over my hard length drives me insane. That, in combination with this hot wet kiss he is giving me, is almost too much for me. Suddenly I feel him tremble. Maybe it is because of the alcohol, but maybe he is too tired, and his legs can't hold him anymore. I don't want to take the risk for him to collapse down on the floor. I place my hand over his hand and stop him from stroking me. I turn around in his arms and softly push him backwards towards the table. Ander has a strange look on his face, which slowly transforms into a wide grin.</p><p> </p><p>I don't understand why Omar stops me from stroking him, but when he pushes me backwards to the table, a fantasy washes over me. Adrenaline starts to rush through my veins at the thought of Omar fucking me hard on the kitchen table. I can feel my erection jolting in my jeans. I grab Omar by his shirt and roughly pull him towards me. As soon as I feel the table behind me, I place my hands on it as I lift myself onto the table, but in the same movement, I knock over some mugs that apparently were still on the table, causing a loud noise. I grab the mugs to prevent them from falling on the ground and place them further on the table. For a moment, I hold my breath, hoping it hasn't woken up my mom, who is sleeping in the bedroom next to the kitchen. I notice how Omar is holding his breath as well. Luckily it stays quiet; there is no sign that my mom is awake.</p><p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://ibb.co/pnCm1NB">  </a>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Where were we?</em> -I mumble. I pull Omar in between my legs. I move a little bit closer to the edge, so our crotches are pressed against each other. I quickly wrap my legs around Omar's hips to increase the friction.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Joder!</em> -I curse softly as I feel how Ander increases the friction between our crotches. I can't help myself but rock softly against him. The movement causes us to gasp for air. I close the gap between our mouths and kiss him. This time the kiss intensifies immediately. Tongues colliding, hot and demanding. Ander's hands move to my ass, desperately trying to pull me closer as I keep rocking against him. I want more, no I need more. I want him.</p><p> </p><p>I want him. I want Omar to fuck me, right here, right now. I want him to fuck me like he has never done before. It is all that I want. It is all I can think of. The words just tumble out of my mouth.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Fuck me, Omar, please. I want you to fuck me as hard as you can, right here, right now.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ander's words make me stop in my tracks. For a moment, I completely freeze. Although the words turn me on massively and as much as I would like to, I can't; I just can't.</p><p> </p><p><em>"As hard as you can."</em> There is no way I am going to do that because it will definitely hurt him. And I don't want to do that. I know I need to come up with an excuse because Ander will be very annoyed if he finds out why I don't want to do it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-We can't, Ander. I don't think it's a good idea.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Why not?</em> -I feel slightly annoyed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Because your mother is asleep in the next room.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-My mother is a heavy sleeper. I promise you she won't wake up</em>. -I say as I pull him against me again in an attempt to convince him.</p><p> </p><p>I sigh because I know Ander is too stubborn to give up. I need to think of something else.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I'm sorry, Ander. I don't want to take the risk. Another time okay? I promise. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>I can see Ander is annoyed with me. I see it in the way he looks at me. And when he pushes me away, I know for sure he is disappointed. I grab his face between my hands and force him to look at me.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I want you, I want you so much. You have no idea how much</em>. -I take Ander's hand and guide it towards my crotch and press his hand hard on my rock-hard dick. -<em>This is what you do to me... </em>-my voice is thick with desire. I can see his eyes lighten up, so I continue:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I want to feel you inside me; I need to.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, I was annoyed; for a moment, I resented Omar because I have the feeling that he is holding back on me. But when I hear him say what he wants, I quickly suppress that thought. I want to be inside him as well, but I know I don't have the strength to do it; I'm way too tired. So, with a trembling voice, I ask:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Will you ride me? I am...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I place my finger against Ander's lips to prevent him from saying the words he hates so much to express.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Yes, I would love to ride you. Come on.</em> -I take his hand and guide him towards the living room.</p><p> </p><p>Normally I would take him upstairs to the bedroom, but I know he wants something more exciting. So, I decide the couch will do perfectly fine. I just hope Ander is right about his mom because I don't want to get caught. I notice how Ander is wiggling on his feet; I shake my head and smile; I know he is trying to hide that he is slightly drunk.</p><p> </p><p>I see Omar shake his head and smile.</p><p> </p><p>-<em>Why are you laughing?</em> –I ask while I grab onto the dresser next to me to steady myself. Somehow the alcohol had gone straight to my head as I feel slightly lightheaded.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-It's just funny how you wiggle when you are drunk...</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-I'm not drunk...</em> -I protest as I now lean back against the dresser, pulling Omar against me. I let my hands slide down to his ass to pull him even closer. I lean forward to kiss him, but somehow my mouth misses its goal as it lands half on and half next to Omar's mouth.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Yeah, if you say so. I just hope you are capable of aiming more properly during the sex; otherwise, it's going to be a very painful experience for me... </em>-I joke while I move my mouth towards him and kiss him like he had planned to do.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I'm perfectly capable of aiming</em>. -I pretend to be slightly offended. I'm going to prove to him he is wrong.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Sure you are, that's why you couldn't get the key in its lock earlier.</em> -I remind him, my lips now moving over his jaw, down his neck, leaving a wet trace behind. I can hear Ander moan softly.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I told you, that hole kept moving all the time.</em> -I can feel how Omar pins me to the dresser with his body. I can feel his hardness pressing against mine.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I'm just hoping my hole doesn't move so much then..</em>. -I mumble against the skin of his neck. I suddenly feel Ander's hands on my hips as he turns us around. Now I'm the one with the back against the dresser. And before my brain can register the movement, Ander turns me around. I can feel how he presses his body against me from behind. He grabs my hands and places them on top of the dresser. I feel his mouth in my neck, licking and kissing the skin, and then he whispers in my ear:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Let's find out how capable I am of aiming when it comes down to you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>My voice is hoarse of desire. I hear Omar moan of excitement when I push his jeans down over his ass until it is halfway down his legs. I do the same with the boxer he is wearing. I reach around him and wrap my hand around his erection. Skillfully, I move up and down his length, thumbing over the top each time to spread the precum he is leaking. I keep stroking him until he is slick and smooth. Just the way I like it.</p><p> </p><p>I can't prevent moans from escaping my mouth. I brace my hands more firmly on the dresser as I softly push back against Ander. I look down and see how he strokes me; it turns me on more than I already was. Suddenly he stops his movements, and when I feel his other hand move away from my waist, I instantly know what he is up to. I hold my breath as I see how he moisturizes his fingers with precum. Only the thought of what he is going to do next drives me insane. I take a few steps back, so I can bend over slightly to give Ander better access. I grab the edge of the dresser tightly to steady myself for what is coming.</p><p> </p><p>I lube my fingers with Omar's precum. It feels warm and sticky. I grin as I notice how Omar anticipates, already expecting my next move. I wrap one arm around him to hold him into place while I press one of my precum-lubed fingers against his tight muscle. I hear Omar gasp when I breach him softly. I push my finger in all the way as I start to move it, and when I feel there is enough space, I add a second finger. I twist and turn my fingers to stretch him. I try to push my fingers inside him even deeper, using a little bit more force. And when Omar lets out a loud moan, I know I hit the right spot. I repeat the movement, and again Omar cries out a loud moan. I bring my lips towards his ear as I whisper:</p><p> </p><p><em>-I guess there is nothing wrong with my aiming...</em> -As I repeat the movement, causing him to moan once more.</p><p> </p><p><em>-No, nothing...</em> -Are the only words I can produce in between my moans. His fingers are bringing me close to ecstasy. A hot sensation is running through my entire body. Ander knows exactly what he's doing to me. I can feel how he adds a third finger. I push back against his fingers; they feel so good inside me. But I want more, no, I need more. I need Ander. Inside me. Like 10 minutes ago.</p><p> </p><p>As I continue to pleasure Omar, I feel that I start to leak precum in my boxer. The way Omar squirms underneath my touch has me turned on so much that it aches. My jeans are way too tight, even if the closure is open. But before I can even decide what to do next, I hear his plea.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Stop... please, you need to stop right now.</em> -I know I sound desperate, but I'm so close now... That if he moves his fingers a couple more times I will come instantly.</p><p> </p><p>I immediately stop my movements. When Omar looks over his shoulder, I can see his gaze. It tells me exactly what I need to know. He wants me inside him like we agreed. Softly, I pull back my fingers, causing Omar to moan one final time. I wipe my fingers clean on the fabric of my jeans.</p><p> </p><p>I turn around and lean back against the dresser, giving myself some time to get my breathing back under control. I grab Ander by his shirt and pull him close as I kiss him passionately. I completely get lost in the kiss until Ander breaks it.</p><p> </p><p>I break the kiss because I'm so eager to continue. I grab his hand and try to pull him with me towards the couch. For a moment, I'm annoyed because he doesn't seem so eager as he moves slowly, but then I look back at him and notice how his jeans and underwear are wrapped around his ankles. I start to laugh, and I can't help saying:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Look who is wiggling funny now. Are you drunk, Omar?</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Shut up, you Idiot.</em> -I smile because Ander can be so witty, and I really like this side of him. Playfully I push him, so he falls backwards onto the soft cushions of the couch. Although it's pretty dark in the living room, the only light coming from the moon outside, I can see how he is staring at me; lust and desire are displaying in his eyes. But I know my eyes are telling him the exact same thing. I bend over to take off my sneakers and the clothing that are preventing me from moving.</p><p> </p><p>My heart starts to beat heavily against my chest, and I feel how my breathing gets heavier. Forget the foreplay; I want him. I need him right now. I lift my hips as I eagerly push down my jeans and underwear down in one go. I don't bother to take them off completely. I quickly grab my shirt with both hands at the back of my neck and pull it over my head, tossing the shirt beside me on the couch.</p><p> </p><p>The way Ander undresses himself tells me everything. He isn't able to wait any longer, nor am I. It sends a shiver down my spine. I grab my shirt by its bottom and pull it off in one go, tossing it on top of Ander's shirt. I look down on Ander and see how he positions himself a little bit better. He is slumped down, and he props a cushion behind his back to be more comfortable. He is looking so hot that my heart skips a beat. My attention is drown to his erection, and I can't help it; I need to touch it, so slowly I kneel before Ander. I look up at him, and I see a begging expression in his eyes. I keep looking him in the eye when I wrap my hand around his shaft just below the tip and move slowly down.</p><p> </p><p>I let out a moan the moment Omar wraps his hand around me. When his hands move down, I'm no longer able to hold his gaze as I close my eyes, to completely give in to the feeling. Totally unexpected, I feel a warm and wet sensation moving over the tip of my erection. I clench my hands in the fabric below me. Joder, this feels so intense. I throw back my head and arch my back as I feel how Omar's hands move up and down my erection while his tongue licks over the top. My moans are getting louder and louder; I can't seem to hold them back.</p><p> </p><p>While I continue my movements as well with my hand as my tongue, my eyes are still focused on Ander. Seeing how he reacts underneath my touches causes my dick to jolt. Ander doesn't realize it, but if he continues to moan and move like this, I will come without him even touching me. I can feel how Ander starts to tremble all over his body, and I instantly know he is getting close, just like I am. But before I stop, I decide to take him in one time. When my hand is down his shaft, I place my mouth around him as tight as possible and bob down one time, and when I move back up, I suck it as best as I can. I can hear Ander gasping for air.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Jodeeer!</em> -I cry out, louder than I intend to. I'm so close now, but this is not how I want this to end. I want to feel him around me. In an attempt to stop him, I clench my hands in his hair and softly pull it. I look at him in despair, and my voice is raw when I say:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Please stop. You know what I want, please...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I want exactly the same thing; I can't wait any longer. I reach for my jeans, take out my wallet and search for the condom that is stored inside of it. When I have what I need, I toss my wallet aside. I tear the wrapping open with my teeth. I look at Ander when I roll the condom down over his length. Then it occurs to me that we don't have any lube, so I use the only thing can think of. A moan escapes me as I touch myself to gather some precum; quickly, I spread it over the condom. I repeat the action until I'm sure it will do. I stand up and carefully straddle Ander.</p><p> </p><p>I place my hands on his ass as I guide him forwards a little. Then I take hold of myself and guide it towards Omar's entrance. Slowly Omar lowers himself, and I feel how he moves over me. My god, he feels so tight around me that I think I will come before he even is completely in. I feel that Omar stops for a moment, and as my eyes meet his, I see a sign of discomfort.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Are you okay?</em> -I ask softly, letting one hand slide over his bare torso as I place my other hand on his cheek.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I just need a moment to adjust.</em> -I say with a trembling voice. I take a few deep breaths, and then I push myself down until he is complete in. A gasp escapes me when I reach that point. It feels so good to have him inside me again; I have longed for this for so long. Ander wraps his arms around me and presses his chest against me as close as possible. I close the gap between our mouths. When our lips touch, I immediately demand access to his mouth and let my tongue collide with his. I feel how Ander tries to move his hips, and suddenly I crave for movement. I start to move first by rolling my hips a little.</p><p> </p><p>The feeling is sensational, but I want more. Desire is completely taking over. I place my hands on Omar's hips as I lift him up, with the last strength I have inside of me, and slam him back down. I repeat it again, making it very clear to Omar what I want. I notice that Omar understands me as he starts to ride me with more force. The only sound now filling the room, besides our moans, is the sound of Omar's ass clashing against my crotch. The unmistakably sound of people having sex.</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, I hesitated; I wanted to ride Ander slowly, the thought of hurting him keeps lingering in the back of my head. But when he started to lift me and pull me back down hard, I lost control. Although I'm still careful as I keep checking the expression in his eyes because the second, I see a flash of pain, I will stop immediately. I start to ride him with more speed and force, and the only expression in his eyes is pure pleasure, so I let myself go. My hands are moving over the bare skin of his torso. I slightly change the position, and the next moment, I let out a long hard moan, because Ander just hit the most sensitive spot within me. I repeat the movement, and with accuracy and precision, Ander keeps hitting that spot. It drives me closer and closer to the edge. I feel my muscles are starting to contract. I can't hold it much longer.</p><p> </p><p>I feel how Omar starts to tremble and how he tightens around me more and more. I give him a sloppy kiss before I let myself fall backwards. I am so close now, as I feel how my body starts to shake. I clench my teeth in an attempt to fight my orgasm. I want this to last a little bit longer. I quickly grab Omar's dick and let my hand slide over it with steady movements. But when I feel that I'm about to come, my hand can barely continue as it starts to tremble, feeling how I'm about to reach my orgasm, and the movements become sloppy.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I am... I... Omarrrr!</em>  -I come uncontrollably hard inside Omar. My entire body is shaking as Omar rides me through my orgasm. The next moment I feel how Omar spills the warm evidence of his orgasm all over my hand and stomach.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Ander...</em> -I moan as I reach my heigh. Ander keeps stroking me until I bend over and press my forehead against his shoulder as a sign that I am finished.</p><p> </p><p><em>-That was fucking amazing!</em> -I'm trying to catch my breath, noticing Omar is trying to catch his breath as well. I see sweat on his forehead, and I softly wipe it away.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly the sound of a door opening startles me. Omar lifts his head and looks at me. I place a finger against my lip, indicating he needs to be quiet. I turn my face towards the kitchen, and the next sound I hear is the fridge being opened. Fuck! My mother is awake. I look back at Omar, eyes wide open. I push him to get him off me as quick as possible.</p><p> </p><p>The moment I realize Azucena is in the kitchen, I panic. And Ander is panicking as well as he pushes against my chest. I place my fingers on the end of the condom to secure it before I get off of Ander.</p><p> </p><p>In the darkness, I search for my underwear and jeans that it somewhere on the floor in front of me. Desperately trying to make as less noise as possible. When I find my boxer, I quickly pull it on, and I do the same with my jeans. I lift my hips and pull them over my ass in one go. My heart is pounding loudly against my chest. And I freak out when I see the light being turned on in the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>Luckily my clothing is still around my ankles. Quickly I pull them up and over my ass. I don't take time to close my jeans as I hear footsteps moving around the kitchen. I grab the shirts that are lying beside me, and I toss Omar's shirt, which he catches and quickly puts on, just like I do with mine. I can feel how my shirt immediately sticks to my body due to the semen that is still on my stomach. I pull the fabric away from my body, so it doesn't get visible stains from the outside.</p><p> </p><p><em>What the fuck is my mother doing up at this time? Has she heard us?</em> Although we weren't quiet, we weren't exactly loud, were we? I look over at Omar, and through the darkness, I see him form the words What the fuck? I shrug my shoulders and whisper:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I don't know.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I hear footsteps coming closer, and I know that my mother must have heard us. How in the world are we going to explain what we are doing in a dark living room? When an idea pops into my head. Quickly, I straddle Omar and kiss him, letting my hands slide under his shirt.</p><p> </p><p><em>What the hell is Ander doing? Why is he doing this? </em>Before I can comprehend what is going on, the lights in the living room are turned on. Although I'm wearing my clothes, my heart is racing in my chest.</p><p> </p><p>Quickly, I get off of Omar, pretending like I'm caught in the act as I exclaim</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Mom? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Hey guys, I thought I heard some noises coming from this room.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-What are you doing up so late?</em> -I am trying to figure out what my mom has exactly heard.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I can ask you the same question, young man...</em> -She crosses her arms in front of her while she looks at me sternly.</p><p> </p><p><em>-We were just... we were doing nothing, just making out a little</em>... -I feel how Omar nudges me in my side to silence me up, and suddenly I start to laugh, as I think about the fact that she could have found us having sex at the kitchen table. And I start to laugh even more as I feel how the condom, I'm still wearing is curling up now my dick is softening. In a few moments, it will get very messy down my boxer.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Ander Muñoz...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I know I am in trouble when my mother starts calling me by my full name. Now it's Omar who is laughing beside me as he knows I'm in trouble as well. I look at my mom and say:</p><p> </p><p><em>-Yes, mother.</em> -I try to tease her, as I see she looks sterner than she did a moment ago.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Have you been drinking Ander? You know you shouldn’t drink with the medication you have to take.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Jesus, mom, you sound just like Omar...</em> -Letting her know that I already heard those words before.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I thought I was the one sounding just like your mom</em>. -I remember Ander's words from earlier this evening.</p><p> </p><p>This time I nudge Omar in his side because this clearly isn't helping me. Before I can explain myself, my mom speaks up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-It's pretty late, boys. I suggest we all get some sleep.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Omar and I both agree, and after saying goodbye to my mom, she leaves the room. But just before she enters the kitchen, she turns around again.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Omar, honey?</em> -Her voice sounds warm, and a smile is written all over her face.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Yes?</em> -I smile back at her, wondering what she wants to say.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Next time you go out, make sure you aren't wearing your shirt inside out.</em> -She laughs and quickly leaves the room.</p><p> </p><p>I look down on my shirt and groan slightly.</p><p> </p><p>I see the shocked look on Omar's face, and I can't help myself but laugh as I say:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-At least she didn't catch us in the act.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-But she knows, doesn't she?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-Yeah, she knows... she definitely knows.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I groan again as I let myself fall back on the couch again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>(Ander)</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Half an hour later, I stand in my bathroom in front of the mirror. When I look in the mirror, I see dark walls underneath my eyes. I look just like the way I feel... exhausted. Having a quick shower had literally drained the last bit of energy out of me. My body aches; there isn't a bone in my body that doesn't hurt. I hate it; I hate the side effects of that fucking cancer. Normally I try to bite through the pain, but now the pain is unbearable. It has nothing to do with the sex I just had with Omar.</p><p> </p><p>As a matter of fact, it is just the opposite; the sex with Omar has distracted me from the pain. It's a pain that comes from within me. One day it's worse than another day. And although I had a great day today, physically, it has been hell. But I am becoming a master in hiding it. I don't want to bother anybody with the pain I'm going through.  I hold on to the words of the doctors that it will pass. They have said that it will be a matter of time, and I have no other option than to believe them. And there are days I believe it's already getting better, but not today. There is only one thing I can do about the pain right now.</p><p> </p><p>I take a step back as I look into the bedroom. I see Omar is sound asleep, and that's all I need to know. I open the medicine cabinet and take out a bottle of pills. I opened it, and I shake the bottle until 2 pills land on my hand. I look at them for a moment before I bring my hand to my mouth and toss the pills in my mouth. I bend over to drink some water straight from the tab and swallow the pills down. I turn the cap back on the bottle and store it away again.</p><p> </p><p>I walk towards the bed, and I crawl into it, covering myself up with the covers. I turn over slightly to turn off the nightlight. I lay on my back, looking at the ceiling when I feel Omar inching closer and wrap his arm over my chest like he always does. It always gives me a secure feeling, but not tonight. It feels like his arm weighs like 1000k; the pressure is too much to bear. I softly grab him by his wrist and move his arm lower until it is on my stomach where it doesn't hurt so much.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe it's better if I move his arm completely, but I can't. I want to feel his arm around me because it comforts me in times I feel like this.</p><p> </p><p>I just keep staring at the ceiling, waiting for the painkillers to kick in, so I will be finally able to fall asleep. Luckily the painkillers are so strong that it doesn't take long, for I feel myself drift off into a deep sleep where my pain doesn't exist.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Nightmares and dreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi there!</p>
<p>A new chapter is here, hope you enjoy it as much as we did.</p>
<p>Thanks for your comments and kudos!  It means a lot to us.</p>
<p>xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I walk towards the bed, and I crawl into it, covering myself up with the covers. I turn over slightly to turn off the nightlight. I lay on my back, looking at the ceiling when I feel Omar inching closer and wrap his arm over my chest like he always does. It always gives me a secure feeling, but not tonight. It feels like his arm weighs like 1000k; the pressure is too much to bear. I softly grab him by his wrist and move his arm lower until it is on my stomach where it doesn't hurt so much.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe it's better if I move his arm completely, but I can't. I want to feel his arm around me because it comforts me in times I feel like this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I just keep staring at the ceiling, waiting for the painkillers to kick in, so I will be finally able to fall asleep. Luckily the painkillers are so strong that it doesn't take long, for I feel myself drift off into a deep sleep where my pain doesn't exist.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Chapter 8. Nightmares and dreams</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>(Ander)</em> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It is a sunny Thursday morning, and the sun was shining through the window of the classroom I am in. I'm trying to focus on the teacher's voice, but somehow, I'm not able to. I don't really care about it either because he isn't telling something I haven't already heard before. It is exactly the same stuff as last year. I silently curse my mom for a moment because she got rid of all my notes from last year. She also tossed all my homework of last year away. So, I literally have to do everything all over again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I glance over at Guzmán, who is sitting next to me, during this economy class. He isn't making any notes, not even a single one; he isn't even trying to keep up the appearance that he is making any effort.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Aren't you going to make any notes? </em>-I whisper softly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-No, of course not. I still have the notes of last year, don't you?</em> -Seeing the questioning look on his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-No, my mom made sure she got rid of everything. She wants me to focus all over again, so I get better grades. </em>-I sighed, knowing that annoyance sounds through in my voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-I guess that is the consequence you pay of being the principal's son, but on the other hand, you can practically do your boyfriend in a classroom and come off with only a warning. If it had been me, I would be suspended for days…</em> -Guzman jokes while he smiles at me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I guess he is right about that one. I playfully push his shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Well, I can't sit next to Omar anymore. For me, that is punishment enough.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I know I shouldn't complain. I see Omar every day, while Guzmán isn't able to see the person he loves at all. I know he misses Nadia a lot, so I need to stop being so pathetic. I spent every day with Omar; we are in the same classes every day, except when I have an economy, and he has a history. But still, I miss Omar when he isn't around me, so I can't wait to see him after this class. We have agreed to meet at his locker, so we can grab lunch together. Well, not just the two of us but also with Samuel, Guzman, Rebe, and some others.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I feel a hand being placed at my knee, and the hand starts to stroke up and down a little. I stare at Guzmán as I start to laugh. I hear him say.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Luckily, you can still sit next to me, Macho.</em> -His voice low and hoarse, but I instantly know he is just teasing me. I decide to tease him back a little. I let myself slide down a little on my chair, so his hands unintentionally slide up a little bit higher.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Just say the word, and I will dump Omar for you. You know it has always been you, Guzmán, you know, don't you?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I try to sound as serious as possible, but we both know it couldn't be any further from the truth. I would never leave Omar for anybody. And about Guzmán, I have always considered Guzmán as my best friend. I have never been attracted to him in any way whatsoever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I have been waiting for this moment for so long. You know what, Macho? I will let you copy all my notes from last year.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-That's what I have wanted to hear. Thank you, babe.</em> -I playfully wink at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I move back in an upright position, toss the pen, with which I was making notes, on the table. With my other hand, I take Guzman's hand and place it on his own leg and pull back my hand. I fold my hands behind my back and take in a relaxed position.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-You are just using me for my notes.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When I look at Guzman and see that he pouts his lips in such a very funny way, I can't help myself as I start to laugh out loud, and Guzmán follows my example. We used to have so much fun together; I realized that I had missed it. I make myself a mental note to spend more time with him. Hang out, like we used to do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Mister Muñoz and Mister Nunier, can you please pay some attention?  </em>-The stern voice of the teacher startles me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I definitely don't want to get expelled from this class. My mother will probably kill me if I'm being kicked out of class in less than 3 weeks. I quickly grab my pen to continue making notes, but then I realize I can copy all Guzman's notes. I place my pen back on the table as I try to focus back on the teachers' voice; it sounds numb and boring.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Luckily, I don't have to listen to it for long as the bell rings sound within minutes. Eagerly, I bend over to grab my backpack, and when I place it on my desk, I start to see black spots in front of my eyes. I also feel a little bit lightheaded. I close my eyes for a moment and take a couple of deep breaths as I hope it will help. It has happened to me a couple of times during this last week. It is an indication that my blood sugar is low; I need to eat something; it always helps.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Are you alright? You look a little pale.</em> –Guzmán sounds worried.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I open my eyes and look at Guzmán, who is standing next to me. Quickly, I store my books and other items in my backpack.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Yeah, I'm fine. I just need something to eat. Let's go find Omar.</em> -I reply before standing up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Slowly I get up, ignoring the slight dizziness I feel while standing up. I swing my backpack over my shoulder and follow the others out of the classroom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Guzmán walks beside me, and I can see Omar standing by his locker. A smile appears on my face as I see him smiling at me. But the next moment, I feel extremely dizzy as I start to sweat. Black spots are dancing in front of my eyes once again. The world around me starts to spin. My legs start shaking as if they can't hold me any longer. It feels like I'm going to faint. I grab onto Guzmán's arm to steady myself, and I hear myself say from a distance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-I don't feel so well...</em> -I can hear somebody exclaiming my name, and I can feel hands grabbing me, but they can't prevent me from collapsing on the floor. The next moment everything turns black around me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>(Omar)</em> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I smile when I see Ander and Guzmán approach Samuel and me. Just like the previous days, we are all having lunch together; it is a moment we hang out together. In less than three weeks, it has become like a tradition. One I look forward to every day, just chilling with my friends and with my handsome boyfriend. I let my eyes wander over his face, and I see that he looks quite pale. The next moment I see him collapse on the floor. I see how Guzmán tries to break his fall, preventing Ander from hitting his head against the concrete floor. Everything seems to be happening in slow motion, like a movie that plays in front of me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My brain doesn't register any movements, but within seconds I kneel beside Ander. He is clearly unconscious. I'm slightly panicking as I yell for somebody to call an ambulance, and from the corner of my eye, I can see Samuel grabbing his phone. I hear Guzmán yell to get Azucena as quick as possible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I softly slap Ander in his face to wake him up, with no effect whatsoever. I look over at Guzmán, who is on his knees on the other side of Ander, and I see concern written all over his face; I know my face expresses the same emotion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-What happened?</em> -I barely get the words out. I focus back on Ander. Minutes pass by, and he's still unconscious.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I don't know. He was fine minutes ago; we even fooled around in class. I noticed he looked a little bit pale after reaching for his bag. But he claimed to be fine until he just grabbed me, saying he didn't feel well. Next thing, he passes out.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-The ambulance is on its way. They will be here in approximately 10 minutes...</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I hear Samuel say, and when I look up at him, I see that many students have gathered around us to see what all the commotion is about. I see how Rebe, Phillipe, and Patrick are trying to keep them at a distance. Each of them occasionally looking over their shoulder to check how Ander is doing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly I feel movement underneath my hand and a weak voice saying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I don't need an ambulance. I'm fine.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I look down on Ander, who has come to his positives again. I let out a long breath; I'm relieved he is awake again and indicating that he's fine.  I can see how he tries to push himself up in a sitting position, but he quickly lays down again, resting his arm on his forehead. Obviously, he isn't as fine as he claims to be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Ander, are you alright? Tell me what happened.</em> -I can hear my voice trembling. I reach for his hand and take it in mine. He looks at me and smiles faintly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Don't worry so much. I feel a little bit dizzy. I guess my blood sugar has dropped. I just need something to eat.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a few minutes, Ander tries to sit up, and this time he manages. I hope he's right, that he indeed needs to eat something. I know he skips breakfast regularly. But my gut feeling is telling me that something else is wrong. It's a feeling I can't seem to shake.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Honey, are you alright?</em> -Azucena's voice is warm, as usual. She tries to keep calm like she always does, but when she kneels in front of Ander, I can see that she's very worried as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Mom, please, I'm fine. I promise I am fine...</em> -His voice still sounds weak, even though he tries his best to hide it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Well, let the professionals be the judge of that. They are already here. So just let them check you out, okay?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I can tell by the look on Ander's face he wants to protest. He even tries, but his mom looks at him with such a stern expression that I hear him utter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Fine...</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I totally lost track of time.  I have no clue how much time has passed since the moment Ander fainted. When I see the paramedics approach us, I stand up to give them the space they need to examine Ander. Guzmán places a hand on my shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I think he will be alright; he seems to be as stubborn as he usually is.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Guzmán's remark makes me smile. He's totally right; Ander being stubborn is definitely an indication that he is going to be fine. For a moment, my worries disappear; unfortunately, it doesn't last long because, in less than 15 minutes, we are on our way to the hospital.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>(Ander)</em> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There I'm sitting on the hospital bed, in a cubicle, at the emergency department of the hospital. I hate to be in this place again. The surrounding and the smell reminds me of the worse period of my life. I never expected to be here again so soon. It only has been 5 weeks ago that I have heard that I was in remission.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I have my eyes closed; I don't want to see the look on my mother and Omar's face. I know they are extremely worried, and to be honest, so am I.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The paramedics had checked me out. My blood sugar turned out to be normal, so that wasn't the cause of my fainting. The vital functions all turned out to be okay, although my blood pressure was a little bit low. For a moment, I felt relieved because everything seemed fine, but that was until my mom mentioned the fact that I had been diagnosed with leukemia before but that I was in remission.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For the paramedics, it was a reason to give me an IV and bring me to the hospital as quick as possible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And now the only question on my mind is: <em>Is it back?</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Is cancer back? Are the past 5 weeks all that is given to me? During the last few months, I was afraid to make plans for the future because I was convinced, I didn't have a future. Now I was starting to make plans for the future again. A future with Omar. What if it is all over again? What if I don't have a future anymore? I feel tears burning in my eyes. I don't want my mom and Omar to see them. So, I squeeze my eyes even more shut.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Ander Muñoz?</em> -I hear a familiar voice say. I don't have to take a look at the person to know who he is. I take a couple of deep breaths before I open my eyes and see the doctor, that is so familiar to me, approach me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He gives me a hand as he greets me, and I witness how he does the same with my mom and Omar.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He takes place at the end of the bed, besides my feet. He looks down the chart he is holding, studies it for a moment, and looks back up at me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I see you are brought in because you fainted at school. Did that happen before?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I sigh because I know I'm going to say something of which my mom and Omar aren't aware of. I haven't told them anything because I really was convinced that it was nothing. I look at my mom apologetically before I answer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-It was the first time I actually fainted, but I have been feeling dizzy and lightheaded a few times this last week.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I close my eyes for a second when I hear Omar sigh. I instantly know he is angry that I haven't told him.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Did you have any nosebleeds? Experienced extreme nauseous?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I can feel eyes burning at me. I know they want to know if I have been holding back more things from them. If there are more secrets that I kept from them, but there aren't. I shake my head in denial.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-No, I haven't.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Did you lose any weight during the last couple of weeks?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Again, I shake my head in denial. I certainly didn't lose any weight; on the contrary, I gained some weight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-No, I haven't. I gained five pounds.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Have you taken your medicines as prescribed?</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p><em>-Yes, I have</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Okay. Listen, fainting itself is harmless. But fainting is a way for the body to let us know that something is going on. The body tries to reset itself, hoping the defect will be gone afterward. It can have many causes; it is mostly innocent, like low blood pressure or stress. Concerning your history, I would like to run some blood tests to check on the markers in your blood. And I would also like to order a scan to see if there are any changes.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I close my eyes; the words markers and scan sets me off. I feel my mom grabbing my hand, and I instantly know she thinks the same thing as I am. I silently curse. I open my eyes and look around to see Omar. He is standing in a corner, with his back towards me, and I know he is crying. I can tell by the way he has wrapped his arms around himself, and his head is dipped. I can feel tears burning in my own eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What have I done? Why did I let him back in my life again? For what?  Why do I keep burden him? I'm only hurting him. I should have never let him back in my life... But I'm selfish, I love him, and I need him in my life. I'm not strong enough to let him go. My first instinct is to push him away again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Do you have any questions?</em>  -The doctors' voice brings me back to the reality of the moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There is only one question on my mind, but I'm too afraid to ask it. I'm too scared of the answer. So, I just shake my head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Okay, let's do it. In a few hours, we will know something more.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With those words, the doctor leaves the cubicle. I swallow hard when I see the mixed look on Omar's face.  I know he's scared and angry at the same time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Why haven't you told me that you weren't feeling well before? </em>-I can hear the frustration in his voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Because I thought it was nothing! I don't have to justify my feelings to you every minute of the day, do I?</em>  -I snap at him brutally.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Ander!</em> -My mom's voice is reprimanding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-What?</em>  -I exclaim in frustration. -<em>He supposed to be my boyfriend, not my fucking doctor.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I press the palms of my hands against my eyelids. Something I do when I'm very frustrated. I want to be alone; I fucking want to be alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Omar, honey. Can you please get me a coffee? </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Yeah, sure... </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I hear a door open and close again. I know my words have hurt Omar enormously. I brace myself for the lecture my mother is going to give me about it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But it stays quiet in the room. I hear a chair moving, and I feel the pressure of the bed changing. I lower my hands from my face, and I stare at my mother. She quickly wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly. I'm no longer able to hold back the tears that I have been trying so hard to keep in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I start to cry uncontrollably as I whisper.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I'm scared mom, I'm just so scared.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-I know you are, sweetie, so am I. But you can't push people away again. Especially not Omar.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-I love him, mom; I love him so much. I'm so afraid of losing him all over again.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Then don't make the same mistake again. Just tell him how you feel. Don't shut him out.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My mom wipes away my tears. She's right. I need to stop pushing him away. I made Omar the promise that I would never push him away again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There is a knock on the door, and for a moment, I hope it is Omar. But two nurses enter the room with a wheelchair.  I roll my eyes at the sight of it. No way I'm going to sit in a wheelchair. I'm perfectly able to walk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-We are here to draw some blood and to take you for the scan. </em>-The nurse gestures at the wheelchair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I nod in agreement. I get up from the bed and take place in the wheelchair. Knowing I have no other choice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Mom, can you please find Omar for me?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She gives me a kiss on my forehead.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Yes, I will find Omar. I will see you in a bit, honey.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they stroll me out of the room and through the hallway, I desperately look around me in the hope of seeing Omar. But I don't see him anywhere. I hope he hasn't left the hospital. I hope I haven't pushed him away already.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>(Azucena)</em> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I watch how my son is being wheeled out of the room. I close my eyes for a moment and try to compose myself. I'm scared; I have been since the moment a student entered my office and told me that my son had collapsed on the floor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm worried, but I tell myself that he's going to be fine. Yes, he fainted, but there are no other signs that indicate that cancer is back. No nosebleeds like he had before. He indeed had gained weight instead of losing it. He has a healthy appetite again, which he hadn't before. This time he had fainted, and he has never fainted before. There are no indications that it is back. I have to trust my intuition that he's going to be fine.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It does bother me that he hadn't told me that he wasn't feeling well during this last week. And it surprised me even more; he didn't tell Omar. It sends chills down my spine when I think about how he had just snapped at Omar.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I love my son, I love him with all my heart, and I know he is scared, but that doesn't give him the right to lash at Omar like he did. I absolutely don't condone that behavior. Whenever Ander feels frustrated or finds himself in a situation, he has no control over, he pushes people away. He lashes out. Ander can be very hot-headed. In that respect, he really looks after his father.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He needs to learn that pushing people away isn't going to solve anything. He needs to learn to express his feelings and let people help him. But that son of mine can sometimes be so stubborn. He definitely didn't inherit that from me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I know Ander is afraid that he already pushed Omar too far and that Omar might have left the hospital. But I know Omar, and I'm positive that he hasn't left. I already have a hunch where I can find him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I leave the cubical and walk to the place where I suspect he is, and when I turn around the corner, I see him. He's sitting on the bench where he and Ander got back together nearly 5 weeks ago.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When I approach him, I see his eyes are red from crying, and he is biting his fingernails. I love him; I love Omar; the way he cares for my son is incredible. At first, I had my doubts about him, a Muslim gay drug dealer; I remember the words I said to Ander once. But it turns out there isn't a better guy suited for my son than Omar.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Omar is clearly lost in his thoughts that he doesn't even notice me until I sit down next to him and take his hand to stop him from biting his nails any further.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looks at me apologetically.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I'm sorry, I totally forgot the coffee. I just wanted to give you some space. Is Ander alright?</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-It's okay, honey. I wanted to have a word with my son for a moment. I'm so sorry for the way he behaved.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-He is scared.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I gently grab Omar's chin and force him to look at me. I want him to know that I don't approve of my son's behavior.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-That doesn't give him the right to talk to you like that. And you need to stand up to him when he acts like that. Don't let him walk all over you; you hear me.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm surprised that Omar starts to laugh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Don't worry about that. It might not look that way now, but I'm angry at him. I am! How he tries to push me away and for not telling me how he truly feels. I'm definitely going to confront him with his behavior. But it is not important now; his health is more important now. I know he is scared... I can't blame him for lashing out while he's scared that cancer is back because I'm scared too.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Omar amazes me. How in the world is it possible that he is so understanding? He's so mature for his age. I'm proud that he can separate his emotions and realize what is truly important at moments like this. He's absolutely right.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-We are all scared, honey, but I really believe that everything turns out alright. There are no signs that it is back. They are just being precocious, just ruling it out.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Do you really believe that?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly I feel more convinced than I had been before. Call it a mother's intuition. I take Omar's hand in mine and squeeze it softly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Yes, I really do.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before I even realize what I'm doing, I hug Omar, and I feel how he holds on to me tightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-You know Omar, I have never told you this before, but I'm happy that you are in my son's life.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-So am I.  -</em>I hear Omar whisper<em>.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I pull back a little to look at him, and I say:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I love you, honey.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For a moment, I think I have said something wrong as I see a strange look on Omar's face which I can't describe. Omar scratches the back of his head, but the next moment he smiles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>(Omar)</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>I feel a little bit awkward when Azucena tells me she loves me. I don't know how to respond to it. I'm not used that people expressing their feelings so straightforwardly. But I genuinely do love her too. She was there in the darkest period of my life. She has opened not only her house to me but also her heart.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hearing her say she loves me gives me a warm feeling, and while I still feel a little bit dazzled when I say the words that are on my mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-I... I love you too.</em> -I utter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry... </em>-And she lets go of me completely.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-It is okay; I'm just not used to people expressing themselves like that... </em>-Besides my parents and Nadia, only Ander has said that he loves me. Ander. Ander is all alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-We need to go back to Ander. I don't want him to be alone.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I stand up and am about to walk away, but Azucena grabs my arm and prevents me from leaving.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-They just came and took Ander for his scan and for his blood test. Why don't we grab a coffee before we head back?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I nod in agreement; I can sure use a coffee. Maybe it can help me calm down a little.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We quickly take a coffee out of the coffee machine before going back to the cubicle. I'm slightly relieved that Ander isn't back yet. It gives me some time to think things over. Because Azucena made a good point, I need to tell Ander how I feel. I just wonder if this is the right time to talk about it. I can't help it, but I'm a little annoyed with him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm sitting on the hospital bed, checking out the messages on my phone, when the door opens, and the nurses come back in with Ander.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I hop off the bed so Ander can get back onto it, and I move to the other side of the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-How did it go?</em>  -I hear Azucena ask as I watch how one of the nurses installs the IV bag back on the standard behind the bed as Ander crawls back onto it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Okay, I guess.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Then one of the nurses explains that the doctor will come and talk to us as soon as the results are in. She thinks that it will approximately take about an hour. Immediately after giving the information, both nurses leave the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One hour before we know more. It's going to be the longest hour of my entire life. I'm totally unaware that I'm once again biting my nails.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <a href="https://imgbb.com/">  </a>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Please don't bite your nails.</em>  -I hear Ander say. I know he means well, but I'm not in the mood for him telling me what I should or shouldn't do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His remarks annoy me, and it doesn't go unnoticed by Azucena.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I'm going to phone your father that you are in the hospital.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-I don't want to...</em> -Ander tries to protest, but Azucena cuts him short.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I know you don't want to see him, but he is your father, and he has the right to know that you are in the hospital. Whether you like it or not.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>On that note, she leaves the room, leaving Ander and me alone. I know she planned it this way so Ander and I can talk. I lean against the wall next to the door; the silence between us is unbearable.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Simultaneously we start to speak.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Omar…</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Ander…</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-You go first.</em> -I say. I want to hear what he has to say.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When I look at him, I see he looks very pale. My heart screams to walk over to him and hold him, but my head tells me I need to let him speak first. I want him to know that I don't like how he has treated me earlier. But when I look at him, my heart breaks; he looks so vulnerable. I don't know how long I can keep my distance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I was afraid that you might have left the hospital. I would have deserved it if you had left.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I look at him, and he has this sad expression on his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Yeah, you would have deserved it, but you know I can't leave. I just can't.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe I'm being weak, but I can't hold my distance as I walk over to the bed. I sigh as I take place on the bed, beside his knees. He takes my hand, and when I look at him, my heart breaks. The look in his eyes is devastating. I have seen the look once before. It was at the Barcelo when he told me he was terrified.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Omar, I'm terrified… I'm so terrified.</em>  -The next moment Ander breaks down completely; his body starts to shock as he starts to cry uncontrollably. Constantly repeating the same words, <em>"I am sorry… I am so sorry."</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>I wrap my arms around him and pull him close. I can feel how he desperately wraps his arms around me and clings on to me. I rub over his back in an attempt to comfort him. He rests his head against my shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I know you are, it's okay, everything is going to be okay.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-What if it is not?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I pull back slightly, take his head between my hands and look him straight in the eyes as I gently wipe his tears away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-We don't know anything yet. We need to think positively, okay? No matter what happens, we are in this together.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I don't want to lose you. I love you... I need you.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I know how difficult it is for Ander to express himself in such a way. It means a lot to me that he is opening up to me, but he needs to know how I feel as well. That's the only way to get through this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-You won't lose me, but you need to stop pushing me away when things get tough. It hurts me when you shut me out. When you hide things from me that are important. You have no idea how much it hurts me when you do that. It makes me feel like I don't matter to you.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I'm sorry, Omar, it is never my intention to hurt you or to make you feel that you don't matter to me because you do.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I know, I know that you push me away because you are scared but remember that I'm scared too and that I need you as much as you need me.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I lay my forehead against Ander's as I brush my nose against his.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-You need me?</em>  -His voice trembles when he asks me this question. I know it's very important to him. I know he wants to be needed by someone and the truth is that I need him, I need him in my life, more than he is aware of.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Yes, I need you.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I move my hand to the back of his neck as I close the gap between us and kiss him. My intention was to give him just a small kiss, but the moment I feel Ander's tongue slip in my mouth, I'm lost. I immediately return the favor, and before we know it, we are both lost in the kiss. There are so many emotions running through our veins that are now being translated into the kiss that neither one of us is able to let go of the other one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Guys, may I remind you that you are in the hospital?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>(Ander)</em> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My mom's voice startles me; I was so lost in the kiss with Omar that I didn't hear her come in. I'm well aware of the fact that I'm in the hospital—more than aware. But I don't care; I need Omar close to me, as close as possible. During the scan, all I could think of was Omar. I was afraid that he might have left the hospital, and not only the hospital, but also me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And I couldn't even blame him because if I were in his position, I would have left. That exact thought scared me, as it hit me that a day would come that Omar would actually do the same thing I would do in his position. I need to control the urge to push people away when things get difficult because the last thing I want is to lose Omar. The thought of living without him terrifies me, maybe even more than the fact that cancer might be back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I was so relieved that Omar hadn't left that all my emotions tumbled out of me. The moment Omar kissed me was intense. It expressed so many things that I wanted it to last as long as possible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I notice that Omar pulls back the moment he hears my mom's voice. When he wants to get off the bed, I grab his wrist. The need to keep him close is running through my veins. I move as close as possible to the edge of the bed to create space for Omar to sit next to me. I look at my mother when I say:</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-I'm very much aware that I'm in the hospital. I don't need a reminder of why we are here, but I need him close to me, as close as possible.</em>  -I explain to my mom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I see my mother nod, indicating she understands. She takes place in the chair next to us. I glance at Omar and see a surprised look on his face. He obviously didn't expect me to be so open, but quickly he smiles as he positions himself next to me. I take hold of his hand and interlaced our fingers. We both look down at our hands, united and stronger than ever. I lay my head against his shoulder, closing my eyes. I feel how Omar rests his head against my head. The waiting begins...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We are still in the same position when there is a knock on the door. I must have dozed off because when I look at my watch, more than an hour has passed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We both sit up straight when the doctor enters the room.  I subconsciously tighten the grip on Omar's hands. This is it... the moment of truth. I glance over at my mom, who looks anxious. It seems like hours pass for the doctor to start to speak.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I'm sorry for the long waiting; the lab results took longer than normal. I studied the scan thoroughly, and it shows no abnormalities.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I close my eyes and let out a long breath, and I hear Omar and my mother do exactly the same thing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-<em>The blood results are also good. The markers in your blood are normal. There are no indications that the cancer is back. Absolutely none, as I already expected.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I feel so relieved; I can't even describe what I'm feeling. I toss my head back on the pillow. <em>"Yes!"</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Oh honey…</em> -I hear my mom say. I look at her and see tears running over her cheeks. I stretch out my hand, which she grabs tightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I'm sorry. If I had known you were this worried that cancer was back, I would have told you that that chance at that would be very small, as I told you this weeks ago.  You are a strong young man; in the prime of your life, the chance of cancer returning is less than 5%. That's why we scheduled a scan every 6 months for the next 2 years. That way, we will intercept if there are any changes on time. So, we can make sure it stays away. When there are no signs after 2 years, you will be officially cancer-free.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly I remember him telling me these 5 weeks ago, but somehow, I totally forgot, and apparently, so has my mom. We have been worried for nothing all this time, but when I glance at Omar, I know it was not for nothing. I feel that this had made us stronger, stronger than ever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The doctor continues:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-That still leaves us with the fainting. I have a suspicion, but first, I have a few questions. Have you been taken your pain medication?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Yes, I have...</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-And how many times a day do you take them?</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-A day? The prescription says to take it when necessary. So, I think I take them like 3 or 4 times a week.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The doctor looks at me, a flair of disbelief in his eyes. He places the chart he was holding on the bed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I see. Tell me... on a scale of 0 to 10, 0 is no pain, and 10 is unbearable pain. What is the number you would give your pain on a daily basis?</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-A 7, I think; if I'm lucky, a 6</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-And at what number has the pain when you decide to take painkillers?</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-A 9...</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I don't have to look at my mom or Omar to know they are shocked at my answer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-You are a pretty tough guy. I think this is one of the reasons you fainted. Listen, your body needs a lot of energy to recover from the aftermath of the chemo's. The pain causes your body to stress. Your body wants to fight the pain, but there is no energy left. So, your body tries to tell you it can't deal with the situation any longer, that's why you fainted.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-So, he fainted because of the pain?</em> -I hear my mom ask</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-No, not directly. Everything Ander does cost his body energy, not only school, hanging out with friends, his boyfriend, but also eating, moving, keeping himself warm, fighting pain. Ander's body doesn't have the energy to do all those things.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Is there something we can do about it?</em>  -I hear my mom ask.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Taking painkillers daily will be a good start, so the body doesn't have to stress about that. But it won't be enough. It's very important that he takes it easy in general.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I sigh because I know my mother is going to use this to her advantage. I know what she is going to say, even before she says the words out loud.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-That means not hanging out with friends the entire weekend.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I guess two can play that game. I grin widely. I focus my attention on the doctor, and I ask.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-What about school? I like to go to school, but it is kind of exhausting, especially in combination with making notes and having to do a large amount of homework. It barely gives me room for my social life.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I hear Omar laughs beside me, and I can see my mother is shaking her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-You are repeating the last school year, aren't you?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Yes, I am.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-It's important to have a social life. It's proven that it contributes to a quicker recovery. Maybe there is a possibility to talk to the school about skipping some classes or releasing you from some schoolwork.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Yes, maybe we could talk to the principal about that... </em>-I smirk triumphantly. My mother rolls her eyes at me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-The most important thing is that you start taking the painkillers every day. Until the pain is a 3 or less for a week, and then you start taking less. When it gets higher than a 5, you will take them again. You will notice that the pain will eventually subside completely. And you need to listen to your body more carefully. Don't push yourself over the limit. We don't want to see you here again until the regular appointment. Do you have any questions?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There is only one thing I want, and that is for me to go home with my mom and Omar.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Yes, can I please go home now?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I'm sorry. We are going to admit you for tonight. I understand you want to go home, but this is a standard procedure. We are obliged to monitor you for 24 hours.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No, I don't want to stay in the hospital. I want to go home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Please, I really want to go home.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I'm sorry, I can't do that. Rules are rules. But I will make one exception about the other dilemma I have.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I look at him strangely because I don't know what he is talking about. The doctor starts to smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-There are a bunch of loud boys and girls in the waiting room. They are wearing the same school uniforms you are wearing, so I guess they are here for you. If you cooperate and stay the night, I will let your friends visit you for 30 minutes, and that is totally against the rules. Do we have a deal?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm very curious about who is in the waiting room. Obviously, Guzmán, because he is just so loud at times.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-If my boyfriend can stay until I go to sleep, we have a deal.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The doctor shakes his head while smiling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-You are a tough one to bargain with, Ander, but alright we have a deal.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We shake hands, and the next moment, his sign goes off, indicating he needs to go. He quickly says his goodbyes to us and leaves the room. I'm bumped that I have to stay the night. But there is nothing I can do about it. I look at Omar, and I smile at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Omar gives me a kiss and mumbles against my lips:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Of course, I will. And about the school, I will give you all my notes, okay, so you don't have to take notes during class.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-That's not necessary; I already arranged that I could copy Guzmán's notes of last year. He saved them.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then I hear my mom's stern voice.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-That isn't going to happen!</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-But you heard...</em>  -I start to protest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-There's no way you are going to use Guzmán's notes. Your grades were way better than Guzmán's last year. You can have your own notes back.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-You saved my notes?  </em>-I'm slightly shocked because she told me she got rid of them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Of course, I did. But please don't tell the principal. I don't think she would approve...</em> -My mom winks at me. I just roll my eyes; I love her so much.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next moment the doors open, and I see Guzmán, Samuel, Rebe, Phillipe, Patrick, Ari, and Mencía walk into the room. Clearly, they were all worried about me, and they are all relieved to hear that everything is alright. All the persons who matter to me, my mom, Omar, Guzmán, Samuel, and Rebe, are in this room with me. And even though we are just starting to become friends, I appreciate Patrick, Phillipe, Ari, and Mencía for showing interest as well. And although I'm in the hospital and I'm not allowed to go home, I feel like I'm the luckiest guy in the world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I look at Omar, who is still sitting next to me on my bed. Our hands are still interlaced all this time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Our eyes meet, and I pronounce the words I love you without saying them out loud. I can read Omar's lips as he pronounces the words <em>"I love you too."</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I close the gap between us as I kiss him soft and tenderly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Hey, we only got 30 minutes. Can you please save that for later?  </em>-I hear Guzmán say.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Without stop kissing Omar, I show Guzman my middle finger. We know each other so well that we both know I'm just kidding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-We will continue this later.</em>  -I say against Omar's lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next 30 minutes we spend chatting and laughing with our friends. Until a nurse tells us it is time to say goodbye.  They also need to transfer me to another hospital room as I can't spend the night at the ER department.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I grin when I see I have a room to myself alone. It doesn't take long for my mom to leave me alone with Omar. She is going home to pack some stuff for me that I need to spend the night. She promises me she will be back in a few hours as she has to drop by the school as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I look at Omar when I say to my mom that she doesn't need to hurry. I see the desire reflect in Omar's eyes; it tells me he wants exactly the same thing as I want. And we don't have to worry about my energy level because somehow, I feel more energetic than I have before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Do I need to remind you guys that this is a hospital?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-No.</em>  -Omar and I say at the same time</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But hey, we both never ever have had sex in a hospital before, and this is probably the only chance we are going to get. So why not take the opportunity while it rises?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All I can say about it is that I slept like a baby that night. What could have been one of the worse days of my life eventually turned out to be one of my best days ever. One I will never forget.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Fifteen Minutes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi, there!</p><p>A new chapter is here!</p><p>As always, we wanna thank you for your comments and Kudos!</p><p>xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I look at Omar when I say to my mom that she doesn't need to hurry. I see the desire reflect in Omar's eyes; it tells me he wants exactly the same thing as I want. And we don't have to worry about my energy level because somehow, I feel more energetic than I have before.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Do I need to remind you guys that this is a hospital?</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-No.</em>  -Omar and I say at the same time</p><p> </p><p>But hey, we both never ever have had sex in a hospital before, and this is probably the only chance we are going to get. So why not take the opportunity while it rises?</p><p> </p><p>All I can say about it is that I slept like a baby that night. What could have been one of the worse days of my life eventually turned out to be one of my best days ever. One I will never forget.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Chapter 9. Fifteen minutes</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>(Ander)</em>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A week later</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Today's swimming class seemed much less exhausting than the previous ones, and I can't describe how good that makes me feel; it seems that little by little, I'm back to my old self, although I don't want to get my hopes up too high because I know that a lot of it is due to the fact that I take my painkillers much more regularly now. But I'd rather do that than run the risk of fainting again in the middle of school and having to go back to the hospital.</p><p> </p><p>When I'm done showering, I towel off the excess water and tighten the towel around my waist before heading to the locker room. I know it's bullshit, but I'm still a little uncomfortable at this point being undressed in front of other guys, but I force myself not to think about it.  I'm sure the vast majority of the guys here mind their own business, and the last thing they care about are any insecurities I might have. I let out a sigh, and the thought to Omar comes to my mind.  He didn't come into class because he has a project due for Science class, and since he's way behind, he decided to stay in the library to get ahead. I hope it won't take him much longer than it already has, so we can go home together later. </p><p> </p><p>I'm sitting on one of the wooden benches to start getting dressed when I feel someone patting me on the back; I turn around expecting to see Guzman or Samu, but it's Patrick who greets me with a wide smile.  His hair is damp, and like me, he has a towel wrapped around his waist. I briefly glance at his sculpted abs and feel a twinge of envy, but I quickly pull myself together and bump my fist with his in greeting.</p><p> </p><p>As we talk about how the class went and how annoying the teacher can sometimes be, I notice that I lose his attention for a few seconds. Curious, I follow his gaze to where he has his attention, and I'm surprised when I realize what has distracted him. In front of one of the dressing rooms, there's a guy with his back to us; he's naked, and from the way Patrick is staring at his ass, it dawns to me that I'm not the only gay one in this room. It seems that my gaydar is not as good as I thought it was after all.</p><p> </p><p>I have to clear my throat to get his attention again, and when this happens, I can see a glint of amusement in his eyes as they meet mine. From the way he smiles at me, it's clear that he's not embarrassed at all.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-He's hot, isn't he?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>His statement surprises me, so I can't help but let out a slight chuckle.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-What are you saying?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Don't tell me you hadn't noticed, Ander...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>-<em>Notice what?  How hot that asshole looks, or the fact that guys turn you on?</em> -I joke.</p><p> </p><p>Patrick looks at me for a few seconds as if he is weighing his answer before replying.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Both... </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Ya...</em> -I answer in a whisper because I've noticed that our chitchat has caught the interest of a couple of guys who are standing close to us.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Well, the truth is that I didn't... I hadn't noticed.</em> -I shrug to play it down.  <em>-So... are you bi...? </em></p><p> </p><p><em>-No... I tried it a while ago, but I realized that I prefer to be with a guy. You know... guys know how to touch you and... well, I guess I don't have to explain it to you...</em> -He laughs.</p><p> </p><p>I shake my head while smiling when I hear him ask me:</p><p> </p><p><em>-Hey, what do you say we leave school and go for a few beers?  There's a really good place near here... it would be cool.</em> - Patrick smiles briefly at me.</p><p> </p><p>I look at him for a few seconds, and when I see him bite his lower lip as he waits for my answer, an alarm goes off in my brain.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I don't know, I don't think it's a good idea.  You know I'm with Omar, and my relationship with him is serious...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-So, you both are exclusive?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-If that's how you want to call it... </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Yeah... chill, man... it's cool.  I just wanted to hang out with, have a drink, and chat more like friends normally do. I like you, but I am not interested in you in that way, so believe me, there was absolutely no double meaning in my invitation.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Okay... -I nod, feeling relieved, as I let out a sort of sigh.</em>  -See you later, then.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>In the end, I return home alone because Omar was still immersed in his project, so I take the opportunity to spend some time with my mother and chat about her day.  During dinner, she tells me that my father has called and wants to come by the house on the weekend to see me.  I let out a sigh and just shrug as I continue eating.  It's useless to argue with my mother on that subject.  I understand that it's important to her that this father-son bond is not lost, but after he left me alone for all the months of my treatment and recovery, I can't help but cringe at the very idea that he now wants to spend time with me.</p><p> </p><p>When we finish eating, I help her clear the table and then go up to my room to do homework.  I find it funny how everything comes so easily to me now, so I finally got something good out of repeating the grade, plus I get to take it with Omar. <em>"Omar... what is he doing now?"</em> -I wonder as I reach for my phone to send him a message.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>&lt;&lt; What are you doing? Have you finished the project? &gt;&gt;</em>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Less than fifteen seconds later, I hear my phone start to vibrate.  I smile before answering as I read Omar's name on the screen.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Hey...  How's it going?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I'm finally done... I haven't been home long. Now I'm going to get some dinner, and I'll call you before I go to bed, okay?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I grimace when he tells me he'll call me before going to bed.  The truth is that I really want to see him, so before I get a chance to change my mind, I mumble:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Listen, why don't you stay over at my place tonight?  Come on, convince your father that we have a school project...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I hear a loud laugh on the other end of the line.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Is that a yes?  You know I'd love to sleep cuddled up against you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-I'll be there in an hour or so... -</em>He murmurs hoarsely before hanging up. I'm happy to know that Omar can't resist the thought of us sleeping together. I can imagine how he is now trying to convince his father to let him stay over.</p><p> </p><p>I flop face down on the bed with a huge smile plastered on my face, imagining the incredible hours ahead of us. Just thinking about it, I feel my body start to react.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The next morning</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I'm lying on the bed remembering what happened last night, while Omar is still sleeping peacefully next to me. I'm very annoyed with myself because I couldn't finish what I started. As I was making love to Omar, I started to feel slightly dizzy, and a cold sweat covered my face and my back.  I felt that my arms were not strong enough to hold me up, and I had to pull away from Omar, trying to catch my breath.  I lay on my side, my mouth dry and my eyes closed, trying to subdue nausea from the effort I had made.</p><p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://imgbb.com/">
    
  </a>
</p><p> </p><p>Of course, Omar noticed what was happening to me and immediately cradled me in his arms, telling me nothing was wrong. That I shouldn't exert myself any more than necessary and that all he wanted to do was sleep in my arms.  It was many hours later before I was finally able to fall asleep, as it really pisses me off that my body is not matching up to my libido.</p><p> </p><p>I woke up long before the alarm clock goes off and turn on my side to see Omar sleeping next to me. I softly begin to run my fingertips over his face, tickling him. Omar opens his eyes, still sleepy, and as I smile at him, I pull him close to kiss him passionately. I push my tongue inside his mouth to deepen the kiss, and my body reacts immediately as I hear a slight moan escape from Omar's lips.  I feel frustrated about what happened last night, and as I think about it, I cling to Omar so he can feel how hard I am.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I want you to fuck me...</em> -I hum against his lips as I feel Omar's body respond to my touch, making me smile.</p><p> </p><p>Omar responds to my kiss, deepening it, but his touch is very soft. As if he is afraid of hurting me.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Omar, you know what I want…</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Omar pulls away from me a little and looks at me, raising an eyebrow while smiling fondly at me, but shakes his head slightly.</p><p> </p><p><em>-There'll be plenty of time for that, Ander...</em> -He answers me while he kisses me softly again.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Jodeeer!</em> -I hiss and let out a snort. I break the kiss to let myself fall back against the mattress, feeling annoyed. -<em>You know what? Forget it.</em></p><p> </p><p>Although I have my eyes closed, I can feel Omar's gaze on me, but a few seconds later, I feel him get up without saying anything else, and I hear him close the bathroom door behind him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>(Omar)</em>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>I stand in the bathroom, styling my hair one last time. I look over my shoulder as I see Ander sitting on the bed. We just had a small argument. When we woke up early this morning, Ander was in the mood for sex. He had been teasing me until my body had reacted the way he wanted it to. But when I started to caress Ander softly and tenderly, he pushed me aside. This wasn't the way he wanted it; he had bit out. I remember I just got out of bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower. Leaving him behind so he could cool off a little bit.</p><p> </p><p>I know Ander is annoyed with me because I treat him more carefully during the sex. I know that he wants the sex to be rougher. And how much I would like that too, I just can't. I'm too afraid that I will hurt him. And I am even more careful since he fainted. Knowing it was partly caused by the amount of pain his body is going through.</p><p> </p><p>I feel a shiver running down my spine when I think of the fact that even the slightest body contact is hurting him. Sometimes I can see the pain reflect in his eyes when even the pressure of my arm on his chest is too much for him. He desperately tries to hide it from me, but I can see right through him. I know his body is still hurting. He has some bruises on his arms and legs, caused by slightly bumping into an object. His skin is still so delicate; it bruises immediately.</p><p> </p><p>I know his bones are still sore and, at times, very painful. I did some research, and it is common that after chemo, the body aches for months. I have read that the bones' pain can last for more than 6 months, in some cases even a year. It doesn't make a difference that he has gained some weight and has more fat around his bones again. The pain comes from inside the bones, and pressure increases it.</p><p> </p><p>I know Ander wants things to go back to normal as soon as possible, but that is not how this is going to work. It needs time, time to heal from the inside. So as long as it's needed, I will go easy on him, even if he hates it. I love him too much to hurt him. I just wish he stopped pretending to be so tough because I know it is all an act. I can read him like no other.</p><p> </p><p>I can not only see the pain in his eyes but also when he is tired. Something he also tries to hide from me. I know he does it because he doesn't want to miss out on things. He wants to hang out with our friends and with me, but sometimes he's too exhausted. And then he pushes himself too hard. He just goes on and on. I have told him so many times already that he should take things easy, but he is just too stubborn to listen.</p><p> </p><p>So, the next day, he pays the price, when he has to stay in bed the entire as he has no energy left. The first time it happened, I wanted to say, <em>"I told you so..."</em> but the look in his eyes told me I could better not say that. Instead of saying it, I shook my head in disapproval and smiled at him. It was enough for him to know that I was right all along, except it wasn't enough to prevent it from happening time after time. Sometimes he can be as stubborn as a little kid, but hey, he is my little kid.</p><p> </p><p>I look at Ander again as he is getting dressed. The force he is doing it with tells me he is still annoyed with me for treating him too carefully. But it is something he needs to get used to for the next few months because I refuse to do things that I know will cause him pain. And I promise that as soon as he is fully recovered, he will get it exactly how he wants it, hard and rough. But for now, he can be annoyed with me all he wants after sex because I know the silent treatment, he is giving me isn't going to last any longer than 15 minutes.</p><p> </p><p>I smile as I see him approach me. I can see in his eyes that his grumpy mood is already over. He kisses me and mumbles against my lips:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Are you ready? Let's go… or we will be late for school.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-You are an idiot; you know that don't you?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>-Yes, but at least I'm your idiot.</em>  -He grabs my hand as he pulls me with him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Yes, you definitely are.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>I glance at my watch and notice that we still have a little bit of time before we have to leave. I grab Ander by his waist and softly push him against the door. The surprised look that is displayed over his face makes me grin. I press myself up against him softly, so he is pinned against the door.</p><p> </p><p>I make sure I'm not hurting him in any way, but I know that this is a big turn-on for him.</p><p> </p><p><em>-What are you doing?</em>  -I hear him ask in a voice that sounds hoarse of lust.</p><p> </p><p>I smile and shake my head.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Sometimes, you can ask such stupid questions. Isn't it obvious what I'm going to do? I'm going to kiss my handsome boyfriend.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Quickly I close the gap between our mouths and kiss him while I press him further against the door. I slip my tongue in his mouth, and he immediately returns the favor. I let my hand slide from his waist to the front of his pants and start stroking him softly through the fabric.</p><p> </p><p>A moan escapes his throat as I feel how his arousal is growing underneath my touch. It encourages me to intensify my movements.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Boys, breakfast is ready!</em> -Azucena's voice stops me in my tracks.</p><p> </p><p>I move my hand back to Ander's waist. We break the kiss, and Ander rests his head against my shoulder, trying to catch his breath, just like I am trying to control mine.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I promise I will make this up to you later.</em> -I whisper in his ear.</p><p> </p><p>Ander looks at me with a grin on his face. I recognize that devious smile anywhere, and I instantly know what he is getting at.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-No way, Ander that isn't going to happen. We are not going to do anything like that at school ever again.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Wanna bet about that?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He looks at me seductively, and I know that I'm going to lose that bet because I know that if he seduces me at school, I won't be able to resist him. I quickly try to change the subject.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Let's grab some breakfast. Didn't you tell me that Patrick is going to pick us up?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Yes, he will be here in 10 minutes. Speaking about Patrick… did you know he is into guys?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Yes, of course, I know.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I can see the stunned look on Ander's face; I realize that apparently, Ander hadn't noticed it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-How did you know he is into guys?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-Well, the way he checks out everybody's ass is pretty obvious. Especially Guzmán's ass seems to be very interesting.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Guzmán's ass?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>-Come on, Ander, don't tell me you have never noticed how sturdy and tight Guzmán's ass is</em>? -I tease him.</p><p> </p><p>Ander playfully pushes my shoulder and gives me a quick kiss on my lips.</p><p> </p><p>-Apparently, my <em>gaydar</em> is clouded ever since the moment I met you. -He mumbles against my lips.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Just keep it that way...</em> -I say, swiping my tongue against his lips. I love it that Ander only has eyes for me, and I certainly only have eyes for Ander.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Breakfast!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Coming, mom! Let's go before we really are going to be late.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>For the second time this morning, Ander grabs my hand and pulls me with him. Something tells me this is going to be a very interesting day. I grin at the knowledge that Ander is definitely going to have a closer look at Guzmán's ass. He's definitely an idiot sometimes, but he's mine. All mine.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Truth or Dare</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi, there!</p>
<p>A new chapter is here!  Have fun!</p>
<p>Thanks for your comments and kudos! </p>
<p>xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ander playfully pushes my shoulder and gives me a quick kiss on my lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-Apparently, my <em>gaydar</em> is clouded ever since the moment I met you. -He mumbles against my lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Just keep it that way...</em> -I say, swiping my tongue against his lips. I love it that Ander only has eyes for me, and I certainly only have eyes for Ander.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Breakfast!</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Coming, mom! Let's go before we really are going to be late.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For the second time this morning, Ander grabs my hand and pulls me with him. Something tells me this is going to be a very interesting day. I grin at the knowledge that Ander is definitely going to have a closer look at Guzmán's ass. He's definitely an idiot sometimes, but he's mine. All mine.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Chapter 10. Truth or Dare</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>(Ander)</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Samuel had invited us all for a game night at his house. It has been five weeks since I got home after being hospitalized for one night. Finally, my mother allows me to go out more often. I know she means well, but she is too overprotective. During the passing weeks, she has been watching me like a hawk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She has been patronizing me like I'm five years old. Constantly asking me if I'm feeling okay, constantly asking if I have taken my painkillers, which I take like the doctor told me to do. After the blowup my mom and I had last week, she realizes that she needs to trust me in what I am doing. I still feel bad that we argued, but we cleared the air.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I made it clear that I love her but that I'm no longer a kid anymore. And I promised her that if something was wrong, I would tell her, but she needed to back off a little. I just want to live my life; luckily, she understands that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm starting to notice some small changes. I still am in pain every day, but I think it is slowly getting better. Maybe not day by day, but week by week, I notice that the pain is a little less.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I also feel that my energy level is increasing, and when I look in the mirror, I see that I don't look so exhausted anymore. Over time I have also regained more strength. Finally, I'm able to make love to Omar again. Maybe not completely in the way I want it, but I'm definitely getting there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But the fact remains that Omar still treats me if I can break any minute. At first, I had found it adorable, but lately, it annoys me more and more. I haven't addressed it to him because he means well, and the sex is great.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I suppress a grin when I think of it; I have nothing to complain about that area; Omar always gives me the ultimate pleasure; I just like it to be with more passion, a little bit rougher. Maybe more than just a little bit rougher. I want him to tear the clothes off my body and show me how much he really wants me because I know he holds back big time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I guess things will get better. Eventually, I can't force him to do something he doesn't want to. Especially not when he is holding back because he doesn't want to hurt me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I quickly push back the thoughts that are running through my mind. I really want to enjoy this night. I can't wait for embarrassing moments to happen, which are inevitable when you play Truth or Dare.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We have played Truth or Dare many times in the past, but this time Phillipe, Patrick, Mencía, and Ari are with us, so this is going to be a very fun and interesting night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm sitting on the couch between Guzmán and Omar. On the other couch, Phillipe, Ari, and Patrick are squeezed in together. Mencía, Rebe, and Samuel are sitting on the floor. Everybody is ready to start the game; I quickly take another sip from my beer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Who wants to start the game?</em> -Samuel's voice sounds loud and clear to get everybody's attention.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Somehow at the beginning of the game, it always seems that everybody is reluctant to start, and as nobody answers, I hear myself say.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I will start, but since it is the first one, I will go for Truth. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I look at the people on the other couch. Since the rest already knows me, I think it is only fair to let them ask a question. It’s an opportunity to get to know each other better.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Since the rest already knows me, I think one of you should ask me a question.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm curious what they come up with; hopefully, it is not going to be too embarrassing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I see how they consult and judge from the grins on their faces that it is sex-related. I already know that Omar will not be amused by it. Because I know it is something he rather keeps to himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It is Patrick who asks the question, and when I hear it, I silently curse because of all questions I can come up with about sex, this is the only one I prefer not to answer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-What annoys you the most while having sex with your partner? With Omar...</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I can hear Omar sigh; he looks at Patrick with annoyance in his eyes before he turns his attention to the beer bottle in his hands and starts to pick off the label.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>How am I going to answer this question without upsetting Omar? The last thing I want is for us to get into a fight. Apparently, my answer takes too long, as I hear Guzmán say.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Come on, macho, tell us. And don't tell us that Omar keeps on his socks during sex because we already know that.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I poke him in the side with my elbow. He isn't exactly helping; he knows pretty well how Omar thinks about this subject. I see how Omar gives Guzmán a look and how he smiles faintly at him. I grab Omar's hand and squeeze it tightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Well, since Omar and I are the only ones in the room that are having a sex life at all, I can honestly say that I have absolutely nothing to complain about. The sex between Omar and me is incredible. I mean it, the sex is always good.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I can see a grin appear on Omar's face, and I notice how Samuel is about to protest. I'm aware that he and Rebe definitely have a vibrant sex life also, but I can't help teasing them. As expected, the rest objects to my answer, and they keep pushing me for an answer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-There must be something that annoys you. Do I need to remind you that you chose to tell the Truth?</em> -Once again, Patrick speaks up. I know it is true; they deserve an answer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I guess I like it a little bit rougher than Omar.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-So, Omar is too soft, in your opinion? </em>-Patrick asks, and I see an intrigued look on his face. His question annoys me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-<em>That's not what I said. I said that I like it a little bit rougher, that's it.</em> -I bit out harshly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It is Rebe that intervenes, probably afraid that things are about to escalate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Easy hombres! Let's leave it at that and move on, Guzmán, your turn.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I lean towards Omar and whisper in his ear:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I'm sorry.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-It is not your fault, don't worry about it.</em> -He gives me a quick kiss on my mouth before we turn our attention back on the game, just in time to hear that Guzman's goes for a Dare.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>(Omar)</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p>
<p>I feel slightly annoyed, not with Ander but in general. What just happened is exactly the reason why I am not a big fan of the game truth or dare. There are just some subjects I don't like to discuss with other people, not even with friends.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I don't mind talking about sex, but some things are nobody's business; it is something between Ander and me. I know that Ander likes to keep some things private as well. I know he tried to keep it as neutral as much as possible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The minute I heard the question, I knew this was going to be Ander's answer. I know that he wants things rougher at times, but he doesn't see the pain I sometimes see across his face when the pressure of my body on top of him is too much.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In those moments, all I want is to pull back completely, for his pain to disappear, but I know he will get all upset about it. So, I continue, but I hold back, not wanting to hurt him more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I smile because I'm glad that Ander expresses that he is satisfied with the sex between us. That although he wants it rougher, he is still happy with our sex life. I grin because the sex has been very good, and I know that it is just a matter of time, that I don't have to hold back any longer, and I'm comfortable with giving Ander what he wants.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I look forward to that moment as much as Ander. Not strictly for the sex, although that prospect is exciting, but just to see Ander pain-free again. That's what most important to me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I hear the rest laugh out loud; it brings me back from my wandering thoughts. I clearly have missed something. It doesn't take long for me to figure out what is going on. I see Guzmán standing up, putting on his jacket.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-It has to be the first person you see on the street!</em> - Mencía says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-I sure hope it will be a hot chick because I'm definitely not going to hug a complete stranger if it isn't a gorgeous girl</em>. -Guzmán protests, looking over his shoulder before he heads to the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Don't be such a pussy!</em> -I hear Ander laugh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clearly, Guzmán has to hug the first person he sees on the street. This could be fun. I can't help it, but I hope, after his comment earlier, that Karma is a bitch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The moment Guzmán walks out the door, we all get up and move over to the window. Samuel opens the window, so we can not only see what is happening, but we can also hear what is going on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It only takes a minute before Guzmán appears on the street. The street is empty; there aren't many people outside at this hour of the day. And since this has always been a very quiet street, with almost no traffic, it can take a while before somebody passes by.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a few minutes, Guzmán looks up to us, shrugs his shoulders, and raises his arms in the air.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <a href="https://imgbb.com/">
    
  </a>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-How long do I have to stand there? There is nobody around here!</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-As long as it takes!</em> -I hear Rebe say next to me. We are all propped in the window opening.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-She'd better be worth the wait!</em> -Guzmán shouts to us.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I know Guzmán doesn't mean it because I know how he adores my sister. At first, I didn't like it a single bit that he was into my sister, but he makes Nadia happy, and that is what matters the most to me. I skype with Nadia every week, and every time she mentions Guzmán, her face lights up completely. She's totally in love with him; even now she's in New York, she is committed to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And I must admit that Guzmán has surprised me because his intentions with my sister seem to be very serious. There is more to Guzmán than I initially thought; besides that, he is Ander's best friend, and when we were both concerned over Ander, we actually bonded and became friends. He is a great guy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Somebody is coming around the corner.</em>  - Phillipe sounds very enthusiastic, and I feel Ander nudging me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When I look in the direction of the movement, I start to laugh out loud. Although it is dark in the street and the only light is coming from the streetlamps, I instantly recognize the person walking towards Guzmán. It is Mr. Ramirez, a regular customer of our fruteria. There goes Guzmán's fantasy of a hot chick because Mr. Ramirez is about 60, has a belly, is heavily bearded, and always had a strong odor of sweat hanging around him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I lean over to Ander, who has also seen Mr. Ramirez a couple of times and whisper:</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-It is Mr. Ramirez.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ander looks at me and starts to laugh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-No way! My god, I'm going to pee my pants, for sure.</em>  -Ander exclaims.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly I hear Samuel roar with laughter. He has also recognized him, Samuel looks at me with his eyes wide open, and at that moment, I almost pee my pants. Of all persons that Guzmán could have encountered, this is most certainly the worse one. Karma definitely is a bitch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Apparently, Guzmán has noticed the person walking up to him. I'm sure he doesn't know Mr. Ramirez, but he is clearly not what Guzmán was expecting as he yells.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-No way I am doing this!</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even though the darkness, I can see the look on his face; he is definitely not amused. It hasn't gone unnoticed by the others as everybody is laughing and giggling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-A dare is a dare! You can do this, Macho</em>. -Rebe barely gets the words out as she almost chokes in her laugh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Guzmán shakes his head and closes his eyes for a moment. I see how he is taking a deep breath.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mr. Ramirez is now close to Guzmán, and I hear Guzmán say:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Goodnight, sir. How are you?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-Get lost, you scum bag, I don't have any money.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I see the surprised look on Guzmán’s face; I laugh even harder at the thought that Mr. Ramirez thinks Guzmán is going to rob him. The rest is also laughing harder and harder, and I hear Samuel whisper that he is almost peeing his pants. Ander is holding his stomach as he is also laughing uncontrollably.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Come on, Guzmán, you can do it!</em>  -This time, it is Ari that tries to encourage Guzmán.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We all duck the moment we see Mr. Ramirez look up to see where the noise is coming from. Unable to stop laughing. When we hear Guzmán speak again, we all take our previous position again as we watch how Guzmán continues his mission.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I'm sorry, sir, but we are playing this game Truth or Dare, and my LOUSY friends gave me the mission to hug the very first person that walks by, and that happens to be you, sir.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I can hear how Mr. Ramirez starts to laugh; his laugh is raw.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I bet you were hoping for something else to hug.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-To be honest, I kind of did.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Come here, son; I will hug you. So, your lousy friends won't laugh at your expense.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next moment I witness how Mr. Ramirez pulls Guzmán in a tight hug, clearly totally surprising Guzmán. Guzmán squeezes his nose with his fingers as he pretends to be disgusted. It is obvious that there is nothing wrong with Guzmán's nose.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We can all see how Guzman tries to break the hug, but Mr. Ramirez isn’t letting go of him. The desperate expression on Guzmán's face is priceless. I hear a dull sound behind me, and when I look over my shoulder, I see Rebe and Mencía rolling on the floor of laughter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The laughing is so contagious that within seconds tears are rolling over my cheeks from laughing. And soon everybody is following the same example. Moments later, the door flies open, and Guzmán enters.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-I see he has finally let go of you...</em>  -Ander says, trying to sound serious before he breaks down in laughter again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Fuck off, Ander!</em> -Showing Ander his middle finger, but the next moment Guzmán starts to laugh, realizing how funny it all must have looked.  <em>–I will never, never do this again.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a few minutes, when everybody finally was able to stop laughing, and everybody was seated again, Samuel provided us with new drinks, and I notice that Ander switched from beer to a coke. It is an indication to me that he is starting to feel tired or that he has to take his pain medication.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Normally he would be stubborn and just keep drinking, but somehow during the last few weeks, his attitude has slightly changed. He listens to his body more and more, and it has a positive effect on him. I know he hates how Azucena is checking upon him, and this is his way to get her of his back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I know I have been following his every move as well, but I just can't help myself, and I know it annoys him. So, it is a relief to see that he takes better care of himself. It certainly helps me to relax more, knowing he has everything under control.  Once again, a voice interrupts me from getting too lost in my thoughts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Samuel, it's your turn; what is it going to be? Truth or Dare?</em> - Mencía asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-After Guzmán's dare, I think it is safer to choose the Truth before I get to hug an attractive hot chick. I couldn't do that, Guzmán.</em> -Samuel smiles while he winks at Guzmán.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Screw you, Samu.</em> -Is Guzmán's reply, but he is smiling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-I have a question...</em> -This time, it is Ari that speaks up. I'm curious what her question is going to be. The way she has been looking at Samu recently hasn't gone unnoticed by me. I have this hunch that she's interested in my best friend, but I know that Samu is pretty hung up on Rebe. She has no chance whatsoever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Shoot!</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-We have heard that you had a pretty complicated affair with a girl named Carla and that she moved abroad to study. Would you still be with her if she hadn't moved?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ouch... The moment I heard the name Carla I instantly knew this would mean trouble for Samu. I look at him and see an uncomfortable expression on his face as he looks over at Rebe. As I glance over at Rebe, I see her eyes spitting fire. She's definitely not amused with the question, and her body language says it all as she crosses her arms in front of her, waiting for Samu to answer the question. I pity my friend because I already know that whatever he is going to answer, she isn't going to like it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It seems that the rest is also aware of the tension that is hanging in the air as it is as quiet as a mouse; everybody seems to be holding their breaths.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Samuel shrugs his shoulders.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-She has moved, so this question is totally irrelevant.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-That's not an answer, Samuel.</em> - Mencía pressures, clearly trying to stir things up between Samuel and Rebe.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I see how Samuel keeps looking at Rebe with despair in his eyes. He knows as well as I do that Rebe is a feisty one. I can't help feeling sorry for her because I know how deeply she is in love with Samu, but I also know how in love Samu was with Carla. He was totally infatuated with her. Personally, I think Rebe is a better match for him; I like her a lot.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rebe and I have a strong connection, and I can honestly say that she is one of my closest girlfriends. I love her to death, and I don't want her to get hurt. But the truth is that if Carla was still here, Rebe would never stand a chance. I'm hundred percent sure he would still be with Carla.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Just tell them the damn truth, Samuel.</em> -Rebe bits out. -<em>We both know you would still be her toy boy, her fuckboy.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I hear the others gasp for air like they are in shock and stunned by Rebe's reaction. Ander and I exchange looks, and we both know we have to act before things are getting out of control.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I think Samuel is right. How can he answer this question? She moved; they haven't been in contact since, and Samuel has moved on. We will never know what would have happened if she had stayed. If Carla had been convinced Samuel was the one for her, she would have stayed, or at least she would have tried to make it work.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It isn't quite true what I say, and I know that the last part of my answer is hurting Samuel, but it is the only way I can stop things from getting worse.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-That's exactly what I was trying to say. Things are over.</em>  -Samuel leans forward as he wants to give Rebe a kiss, but she pulls back, not allowing Samu to kiss her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Fine</em>. -Rebe utters, clearly still annoyed with her boyfriend. -<em>It's my turn now. As I'm not such a pussy, give me a dare.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>My god, she is feisty with her comment. Maybe I can help make things right between her and Samu. I have just the perfect dare.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I dare you to kiss the person you fancy the most in the room for at least thirty seconds.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-I have to kiss the person I think is the most attractive and hottest one in this room for thirty seconds?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I confirm it, and I see a naughty smile appear on her face. I smile, hoping they will patch things up. But her next move surprises me completely as she stands up and walks over to the couch where I am sitting at and watch how she grabs Ander by his arm and pulls him to his feet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ander is visibly in shock as he looks at me like he has no clue what to do. Rebe wraps her arms around Ander and pulls him close, her mouth moving closer to Ander, and suddenly I see how Ander grabs her and closes the gap between them as he kisses her. Everybody is clearly surprised by this action because they are all looking at me as if I need to intervene.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I can't help it, but I only feel amused by it, and I smile.  Even though I'm now witnessing how my boyfriend lets his tongue slip in Rebe's mouth, I know this is totally innocent. Ander is totally gay and not attracted to girls whatsoever, and Rebe is one of my closest friends. There's absolutely nothing to worry about.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This definitely wasn't my intention when I gave Rebe this dare, but apparently, it has effect as I see how Samuel stands up, a jealous expression on his face and walks over to them and pushes Ander's shoulder. Causing Ander to break the kiss.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-What the hell are you doing, man?</em>  -Anger clearly audible in Samuel's voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Again, the tension is rising in the small apartment. For a moment, I'm afraid that things will escalate, but then Ander answers with a grin on his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Helping Rebe out to make you jealous, which from the looks of it, has worked.</em> -Ander lays his hand on Samuel's shoulder and squeezes it. -<em>You know I'm gay, don't you?</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I hear everybody around us laugh. I smile as Samuel relaxes and quickly kisses Rebe.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ander sits down next to me again, leans over, and kisses me on my lips, and I hear him ask softly:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-Were you jealous?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-No, not even for a second</em>. -I answer honestly, but I'm curious how he has experienced the kiss. This is the first time that he has ever kissed a girl. I make a mental note to ask him later.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-That's good because there is absolutely no reason to. I'm yours and yours only.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His words turn me on incredibly, and I kiss him, a little bit more intense than he kissed me. Slowly the surroundings around me start to fade as I'm losing myself in the kiss. Until the comment <em>‘get a room, you guys’ </em>interrupts us. Making us focus on the game again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>(Ander)</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p>
<p>The kiss I just shared with Omar is totally different than the kiss with Rebe. With Omar, I constantly feel butterflies in my stomach; with Rebe, I felt nothing. I was surprised when I saw Rebe walking towards me. I know there was a time that she fancied me, even when she already knew I was gay. I feel a strong connection with her. Since she accompanied me to the hospital, the day I found out I had leukemia, we bonded. It is the first time I really connected to a girl.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Of course, Lu and Carla had always been in my life, but I always considered them as the girlfriends of Guzmán and Polo. With Rebe, it's different. I really befriended her. She is also one of Omar's closest friends from the first moment they met. I genuinely like her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I just never expected her to kiss me, although strictly taken, I was the one that closed the gap between us and kissed her. I know she was annoyed with Samuel; well, the word annoyed may not quite cover it; she was furious.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My first instinct was to decline, but the next moment I thought, <em>what the hell!</em>  So, I just did it, partly because I wanted to help her out, making Samuel slightly jealous, which obviously worked. But I also was a little bit curious, curious about how it would feel to kiss a girl.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This was my very first experience with a girl, and I must admit that the kiss was quite hot. I actually enjoyed it, but it also confirmed that I'm definitely not into girls. Something I was already sure about, but if you never try, you never know. I'm totally into guys, well, not in guys. I correct myself; I'm totally into Omar.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I already knew Omar wasn't jealous that I kissed Rebe, unlike Samuel. Omar just isn't the jealous type; he has never been. Besides that, he has absolutely nothing to worry about, and he knows that. He is the only one I want, and I have made that pretty clear. He looks at me with his feverish eyes, and I know he is as turned on as I am from just that one kiss.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I try to focus back on the game, but I can't help myself to look sideways at Omar.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It is Patrick's turn now, and I hear he chooses for the truth. It is Guzmán that asks him the question. A question that peaks my interest, well, not only mine but everybody's.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-What is your wildest fantasy? </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Patrick is a straightforward guy for as far as I got to know him. That is why his answer doesn't come as a surprise to me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-My wildest fantasy, assuming you mean it sexual-wise, is to have a trio.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>I hear giggling around the room, and before I can ask the question that is lying on the tip of my tongue, Guzmán beats me to it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-With two girls or a boy and a girl?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I can see Patrick look at Omar and me, with an intrigued expression in his eyes, and before he answers, I already know his answer. I don't know if I'm surprised or not; maybe it is what I had already expected.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-To be honest, I prefer to have a trio with two men.</em> -I hear the commotion caused by Patrick's answer as everyone starts to ramble.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My eyes lock with Patrick's for a second before he turns his gaze to the others. I'm not sure what that was all about. Why was Patrick looking at me and Omar like that?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Well, Omar and Ander, if you ever get bored with each other, you know who to call.</em> –Guzmán jokes as he pokes me with his elbow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There is no way I'm ever going to have a trio. I'm just not interested in something like that. It can only cause trouble. I have seen that with Polo, Christian and Carla. No way I'm going to put my relationship with Omar on the line for such a stupid fantasy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-That's never going to happen, that's for sure. Omar and I have enough of each other. </em>-I say, convinced with myself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Never say never...</em> -I hear Patrick say.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Never.</em>  -I say, looking him straight in the eyes. Not sure who I'm trying to convince more, him or myself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We are about to continue the game after a short pee break when I suddenly feel extremely tired. I don't want to be a game-breaker. I don't want to be the one to call it a quits early.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Are you tired? Do you want to go home?</em>  -Omar whispers softly in my ear, only for me to hear what he's saying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I nod; I really want to go home and go to sleep. I just don't want to be the guy that leaves early, although it's past midnight already. Suddenly Omar stands up and says:</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>-I'm sorry for being a party pooper, but I'm heading home because I have to get up early tomorrow. I promised my parents to help them out in the store.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As expected, the others protest at the fact that Omar wants to go home, but Omar doesn't care about it. Stretching out his hand to me, which I take, he pulls me up and says:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>-And I'm sorry for you guys, but I'm definitely taking Ander with me.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This time everybody whistles; they apparently assume that Omar and I are going to have sex. It kind of amuses me. Quickly we say our goodbyes to our friends, and we head home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Half an hour later, I lay in my bed on my side, Omar's arms wrapped around me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Thank you for taking me home the way you did.</em> -My voice is thick of sleep, but I want to thank him for what he did tonight. It means more to me than he realizes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-I didn't want to be...</em> - Omar interrupts me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>-Stttt... I know... You know I would do anything for you. You just need to go to sleep now</em>. -As he presses a kiss on my shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Within minutes I drift off in a deep sleep, filled with dreams about having a threesome. Something I'm sure of, I'm not interested in, not aware that the next few weeks will prove me wrong.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Second Thoughts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter 11 is ready!</p><p>We hope you guys enjoy it as much as we did writing it.</p><p>As always, thanks for your comments and kudos!</p><p>xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Half an hour later, I lay in my bed on my side, Omar's arms wrapped around me.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Thank you for taking me home the way you did.</em> -My voice is thick of sleep, but I want to thank him for what he did tonight. It means more to me than he realizes.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I didn't want to be...</em> - Omar interrupts me.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Stttt... I know... You know I would do anything for you. You just need to go to sleep now</em>. -As he presses a kiss on my shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>Within minutes I drift off in a deep sleep, filled with dreams about having a threesome. Something I'm sure of, I'm not interested in, not aware that the next few weeks will prove me wrong.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Chapter 11. Second thoughts</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>(Omar)</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>One of the things I enjoy most about spending the weekends at Ander's house -besides sleeping cuddled up with him-, is that the next day we can sleep in. Azucena usually prepares breakfast and leaves it in the oven for us so that when we come downstairs, we can heat it up, and today was no exception. When we finish breakfast, Ander and I clean up the kitchen; while I wash the dishes, Ander dries them and stores them in their place. Once we are done and the kitchen is sparkling clean, I pour myself another cup of coffee before heading to the living room. </p><p> </p><p>Azucena has gone to do some shopping, so the house is completely silent.  I sit down on the end of the couch to leave my mug on the side table, and Ander takes the opportunity to lie down on the full length of the couch and rest his head on my lap. For a good while, neither of us speak; I absently run my fingers through his incipient curls as we both sink into a comfortable silence.  Ander is on his phone watching car videos, so I put on my headphones and start watching a short film that Samu has highly recommended to me.</p><p> </p><p>When it's over - fifteen minutes later - I put my phone aside and take a sip of my coffee, but I place it back on the coffee table since it has turned cold. I glance sideways at Ander and see that he's looking at some photos from last night's party that some of our friends have posted on Instagram. I smile as I remember the frightened look on Guzman's face when Mr. Ramirez hugged him and wouldn't let him go.  It was definitely a fun night; I turn a little to look at the photos Ander is still looking at, and that's when I remember the kiss he shared with Rebe.</p><p> </p><p><em>-So... How does it feel to kiss a girl?</em> -I murmur, raising my eyebrow curiously.</p><p> </p><p>Ander lowers his phone and turns his head slightly to make eye contact with me.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Mmm...</em> -He hums as if he is weighing his answer.  After a few seconds, I see him shrug before responding. -<em>I guess it was good... Different. It was hot, I won't deny that, but I didn't feel that flip in my stomach like when I kiss you.</em> -He concludes with a smile and lifts his head slightly, waiting for me to kiss him.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn't need to tell me anything else; I lean down a little, so I can reach his mouth, and when I do, I gently brush the corner of his lips, feeling his smile in that kiss.</p><p> </p><p><em>-I see... so I have nothing to worry about?</em> -I tease. </p><p> </p><p>Ander lets out a chuckle as he shakes his head. -<em>Naaa... I was curious, but it only confirmed what I already knew...  </em></p><p> </p><p><em>-And what is it that you already knew?</em> -I ask him, although I know in advance what he's going to answer.</p><p> </p><p><em>-That I'm not into chicks...</em> -He answers with a grimace.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Yeah...</em> -I smile.  -<em>You're only into guys...</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Not just any guy... just good-looking guys like you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-That reminds me... How did you think about the suggestion Guzman made to us when Patrick confessed his fantasy of having a threesome with two guys...?</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Pfff... How crazy is that?</em> -Ander mutters, shaking his head.  -<em>I can't imagine it...</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Me neither... Well... I can't even imagine doing something like that, not even if I was drunk.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-I know. -</em>Ander agrees and gets up to sit beside me<em>. -Just the thought that some guy comes up to you and kisses you in front of me makes my stomach churn.</em></p><p> </p><p><em>-That's what I think too... I couldn't stand another guy making you feel the same way I make you feel... It's fucking crazy... Let's not think about it</em>. -I unconsciously shake my head to banish the images that have begun to form in my head.</p><p> </p><p><em>-That's never going to happen, Omar... I don't need another guy to feel pleasure.  I meant what I said last night... The sex between us is incredible.</em> -Ander mumbles, settling back into my lap. </p><p> </p><p><em>-I'm glad to hear you say that because that's exactly how I feel about you...</em> -I confess, lightly squeezing his arm. -And... Ander? -I whisper.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Yes?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-I just... wanted to tell you that very soon we'll be able to do it like before... You know... rougher.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ander looks at me and nods.  <em>-I know that... </em></p><p> </p><p>He remains silent; I guess Ander is thinking about my words, but I don't have time to ask him anything else, as I suddenly hear him mutter:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Besides... that threesome thing never ends well. Remember what happened with Carla, Polo, and Cristian.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Right... and Polo tried it twice, didn't he?</em> -I ask, remembering that Ander told me that Polo had a relationship with Valerio and Cayetana just a few months before that fateful accident.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-Yes, although there was always a girl involved in both cases... A threesome of only men... Pfff, I don't know... I think it would be even more problematic. I... I wouldn't be able to share you with anyone else.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Let's not talk about it, nene... We both agree that that possibility is completely out of the question.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ander nods and closes his eyes for a few seconds. Although we left the party relatively early and that we woke up quite late, he looks tired.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Omar?</em> -he hums.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Yes?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-Do you feel like lying here all day? </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Vale...</em> -I nod complacently.  <em>-Although I'm not sure your mother would be happy to see us lounging around in her living room...</em></p><p> </p><p><em>-I'm sure she won't mind.</em> -He utters and slowly begins to fall asleep.</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>(Ander)</em>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>I sit behind my desk, staring at a blank screen on my laptop. I'm aware that I need to focus on a school project that has to be due by the end of next week. I haven't even started; luckily, Omar is dropping by later to help me out. I glance at my watch, and I see I have to wait another hour for him to arrive.</p><p> </p><p>I sigh as I look again at the screen in front of me. Once again, my thoughts drift off to the idea of a threesome. Even though Omar and I talked about it a few days ago, and we both agreed that it's not something we're interested in, I can't help but let my thoughts drift back to that idea. It keeps creeping into my mind, and I get more curious by the day. Once again, I tell myself that I don't want to go there; Omar and I will never have a threesome. I'm just curious how a trio between three men works. I'm not oblivious, I've seen threesomes on TV several times before, but it always involved a woman or two, but I've never seen a threesome between three men.</p><p> </p><p>Before my brain registers what I'm doing, I let my fingers glide over the keyboard. The next moment I see tens of videos appear on my screen. I see different shots of three men having sex; I scroll down until I see a shot of three attractive men lying in a bed together. I don't know why, but somehow this shot peaks my interest. Quickly I put it on full screen and press play.</p><p> </p><p>I witness how the men slowly undress each other, I swallow hard, and I feel my crotch tingling at the sight of it. The men start to kiss and lick each other, and my pants start to tighten around me.</p><p> </p><p>In the next shot, one guy starts to suck the other guy, and he, at his turn, starts to stroke the third man. Their moans are filling my room, and strangely, hearing them moan turns me on more and more.  It's so fucking hot that I feel my dick jolting in my pants; I can feel how I start to leak precum.</p><p> </p><p>I closely follow the images playing in front of me. Unconsciously I run my tongue over my bottom lip and then bite it gently as my mind registers what's happening. It turns me on so fucking hard... I slump down a little in my chair while I quickly open my pants. I'm completely hard, and my dick is screaming for release.</p><p> </p><p>When I'm about to let my hand slide down my pants, I hear the unmistakable sound of my bedroom door creaking, so I quickly get back in an upright position.</p><p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://imgbb.com/">
    
  </a>
</p><p> </p><p>The next moment Omar is standing in my room, I quickly close the laptop. I turn around to Omar, and the first thing I say is:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-You are early...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I feel my cheeks burn as I see the smirk on Omar's face. I'm so busted. Omar approaches me, leans against my desk, lays his hand on my laptop, and looks at me questionably.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-You clearly weren't expecting me. What were you up to?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-Eh... homework.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Omar starts to laugh and shakes his head.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-And since when does homework turn you on this much?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>I follow Omar's gaze down to my crotch, where my erection is undeniable visible. The next moment Omar opens my laptop, and immediately moans are filling my room as the video starts to play again. I can see how Omar looks with curiosity at the screen.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Interesting homework… I can't remember getting this assignment. Which class is it for? Anatomy?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Omar starts to laugh. I know he's teasing me. I'm relieved that he isn't angry.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I guess I got a little bit distracted.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Yeah, you definitely were. It's kinda hot, isn't it?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Omar's comment kind of surprises me. I can see amusement written all over his face as he's still watching the screen.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Well, I can't deny that any longer, can I...</em>  -I reply while I look down at my crotch again.</p><p> </p><p>I notice that Omar looks at my erection as well. A smile plastered all over his face.</p><p> </p><p><em>-So... the idea of a threesome is no longer so... </em>-He remains silent for a few seconds, and I hear him rephrase the question. -<em>So, a trio is a turn-on for you?</em> -Omar asks as he looks at me seriously; at the same time, he closes the laptop, making an end to the moaning around us, and crosses his arms as he waits for my answer.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Joder... I'm sorry, I was just curious.</em> -I say apologetically, feeling ashamed because I don't want Omar to think that I'm actually interested in doing a threesome.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-You absolutely don't need to apologize. To be honest, I was curious as well. I have checked it out also.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Omar's words shock me. I can't explain it, but I feel a pang of jealousy knowing that Omar has watched other guys having sex. For a split second, I wonder if Omar is no longer satisfied with me. <em>Am I not enough for him?</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-You have been watching videos of threesomes?</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-I plead guilty...</em> -Omar mumbles with a slight smile.</p><p> </p><p>I feel anger bubbling up inside of me, but there are also other feelings that I can't define. Disappointment? Concern? Do I feel betrayed because he hasn't told me before? Omar is watching porn, and he acts like it's a normal thing to do. Did he jerk off watching hot guys? Does he fancy those men? They are definitely better looking than I am. In the end, I decide that jealousy is the prevailing feeling, and I'm unable to contain myself.</p><p> </p><p>-¿Qué cojones, Omar? Are you kidding me? You are watching porn… Are you already tired of me? Do they turn you on more than I do? -I spit out the words one after another.</p><p> </p><p>I can see a shocked expression wash over his face. He grabs my chin and forces me to look at him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-What are you saying, Ander? No, of course not!</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Then why do you watch it?</em>  -I can hear the jealousy dripping from my voice.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Let's see... Do I need to remind you of what you were watching exactly three minutes ago?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, I realize that Omar is right. I was watching it, and if Omar hadn't walked in of me, I definitely had jerked myself off. I can't blame Omar for doing something I do myself.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Listen, I'm not a fan of watching porn...and I haven't watched any since we've been together. I don't even feel the need to because I have you. You're enough for me. I was just curious after what we talked about a few days ago... You know, after that stupid game. That's why I watched it. </em>-Omar explains, and I feel the jealousy slowly fade away because that's the same reason I did it too.</p><p> </p><p>I nod. -<em>Did you...?</em> -I don't have to finish my question because Omar knows exactly what I'm going to ask.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-It turned me on incredibly, but no...  I didn't do what you were about to do before I entered your room.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Can we please forget that? </em>-I feel my cheeks flush again; I shudder to imagine what Omar would have thought if he had caught me jerking off watching other guys having sex.</p><p> </p><p><em>-No, I don't want to forget it because that was incredibly hot nene... I can't get that image out of my head... -</em>Omar grabs my arms and pulls me up. He takes place on my chair and pulls me onto his lap. I can feel how aroused he is.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Maybe we should talk a little bit more about that matter, as it's clearly on our minds...</em> -Omar mumbles against my lips.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Yes, I think we should, but can we please do something else before? </em>-I feel a devious grin appear on my face.</p><p> </p><p><em>-What exactly do you have in mind?  </em>-Omar's voice is hoarse.</p><p> </p><p><em>- I was thinking that you and I could star in a porn scene much hornier than that... -</em>I softly roll my ass over his crotch.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Sounds like a plan, but what about your school project?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mierda! I forgot all about the school project. Well, I guess the project can wait; I have other things on my mind right now.</p><p> </p><p><em>-It will have to wait; I need to find some inspiration first.</em> -I utter.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Vale, let's get you inspired. -</em>Omar mumbles against my lips before he kisses me. His hand drifting towards the opening of my pants. I know what he is going to do, and I'm absolutely sure it will be much better than what I was watching ten minutes ago.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>I'm lying on Omar's chest, enjoying those pleasurable sensations after having made love. My eyelids feel heavy, and I fight the urge to fall asleep. This hot sex session we just had has not disappointed me at all; on the contrary, I must say it has been by far the hottest in the last few weeks.</p><p> </p><p>Omar and I have never fantasized while we have sex; we don't need to because just being together is enough to turn us on like a couple of horny teenagers. The chemistry between us is so powerful; all it takes is a touch, a kiss, or a caress, to make us really horny. But this time, things got a little out of control, and I must say that far from feeling uncomfortable, it got me much hotter than I would have expected.</p><p> </p><p>Hearing Omar's husky voice transformed by desire telling me to imagine that another guy was watching us fuck, drove me crazy. It was so fucking hot to hear him... and even now, as I'm recovering from this intense orgasm, I get turned on just remembering it again.</p><p> </p><p>I snuggle into Omar's arms, and I can feel our relaxed, sweaty bodies as proof of the amazing fuck we just shared. Gradually, Omar's heartbeat becomes slower, and I can only be aware of Omar's touch on my back. I feel his fingertips brush my skin and an electric current makes me shiver. When I hear him speak, I'm not at all surprised by what he tells me, but even so, I keep silent for a few seconds because I don't know what to answer him.</p><p> </p><p><em>-So... Do you want to talk about it?</em> -He whispers.</p><p> </p><p>As if it were a reflex action, I feel how my pulse starts to accelerate without me being able to do anything to prevent it from happening. It is undeniable that the little worm of that idea has been getting into our heads, like a seed that has been planted so deeply that it has taken root, and it is impossible to cut it off. After what just happened, I'm totally convinced that it's not just me. Omar has been thinking about it too, and suddenly, I feel confident enough to speak up without fear that he might feel betrayed. I know I can express out loud this idea of having a threesome because I trust him completely.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Yes, I'd like to know what you think...</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-I think it's something naughty and hot, and that's why we can't get it out of our heads.</em> -He confesses quietly.</p><p> </p><p>Even though I can't look him in the eye, I know this conversation makes him just as nervous as it does me.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-When I heard you say there was someone watching us, I felt the adrenaline rush, and for a moment, I thought I was going to cum right then and there.  I know there are couples who say that such things in the heat of the moment, that it's just a game... but the thought that if we wanted to, we could make it real... I don't know Omar... it makes me nervous.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Well, we already know that there's someone willing to try...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Patrick? I don't know... would you really want it to be him?  I think it would be risky to do it with someone we know.  If we both really want to go there, we could do it with someone who doesn't know us.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-But that could also be risky, don't you think? -</em>Omar sits up a little so he can look at me<em>.  -I'm not saying that doing it with Patrick wouldn't be risky; on the contrary, I think that, if we really want to do it, we should set some very clear rules.</em></p><p> </p><p><em>-Yes... because I wouldn't like it if...</em> -I keep silent because I can't even say it out loud.</p><p> </p><p><em>-What wouldn't you like?</em> -Omar insists.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I can't stand the thought of you kissing him like you kiss me...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I couldn't even kiss him, like the way I kiss you, because there wouldn't be any feelings involved. Patrick is a good-looking guy, don't you think?</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Yes, of course, he is.  I'd be lying to you if I said he wasn't.  But the reality is that there are many attractive guys, and I'm not interested in any of them.  With you, on the other hand... not only you're handsome, but the bond between us is so strong that any guy next to you pales before everything you give me.</em>  -I confess as I kiss him on the temple.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Ander, this would only be a sexual thing, and only if we both agree to try it.  But your mouth... your kisses... those are only for me.  And if we were to do it, there's something else I wouldn't want to happen either...</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-What?</em> -I ask curiously.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-I don't want one of us to get fucked by anyone else... Do you understand what I mean?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em> -Yes, I totally understand that; I feel exactly the same way you do. -</em>The thought of Omar being somebody else's, even for one time, makes me feel sick.</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes pass, and we are both silent. I can't believe this is happening.  Omar and I are actually talking about the possibility of having a threesome.  It sounds so real; it scares me somehow. Because while it's true that it's something we might try at some point, what if something goes wrong?  I wouldn't want things to get out of control at that point.  Omar's voice brings me back to the present.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Ander?  You know that just because we talk about it doesn't mean it has to happen, right?  It's just a possibility, and if you agree, I'm willing to do it. And I want you to be clear that if I did it, it's not just because you want it... if I'm honest, I'd like to try it too.  We're young, and I think there's nothing wrong with trying it sometime.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Before I regret it, I ask the question that's been on my mind for the last few minutes:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Aren't you afraid that our relationship might change when we do it? That it will ruin us, just like it ruined Polo and Carla?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Omar looks at me for a moment, thinking about my question.  After a few moments, I see him smile, and I hear him say in a confident voice:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>-Nene, I'm so secure of our love is that I don't have the slightest fear that something will change between us if we decide to do it.  It is something we are both curious about and what better to do it together... We just want to enjoy and, besides, it would only be one time. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>-Yes, it definitely would only be once. </em>-I totally agree because I don't want to put our relationship on the line, not ever.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>-You know what? Let's just hang out with Patrick a little bit more... get to know him, see if he is interested, and when an opportunity arises, we will just see what happens.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>As I listen to him, I feel a flip in my stomach, and without being able to help it, my body starts to react to the idea of doing it.</p><p> </p><p><em>-Vale...</em> -I hear myself reply very softly.</p><p> </p><p>Omar looks at me and nods; he closes the space between us and starts kissing me. After what we've just talked about, it's obvious that we've both hard again. Reluctantly, he cuts the kiss short, only to whisper in my ear:</p><p> </p><p><em>-Let's see what happens...</em> -Seconds later, he runs his tongue across my upper lip, and I can only lose myself in the eroticism of what that means.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***</strong>
</p>
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